same old routine..different this time?

[LuckyLuke2B9]

im just about to turn 21 years old, i dated a girl for about a year and a half when i was 16, i know thats young and i realize its 5 years ago but hear me out, ive been with many girls and been in many relationships since this girl, but to this day she is the only one i have ever loved, or put any effort into at all, i have been the type of boyfriend that just goes out and does whatever, i will admit i have cheated but i stopped cheating a long time ago i have not cheated in 3 years or so which doesnt seem long but it is considering i used to cheat every weekend, i hurt this girl, i slept with her best friend after we broke up i realize how douche of a move it was but i was 17 i was thinking with my hormones and not my brain, im still madly in love with this girl i would do anything to get her back, we have kept in touch over the years off and on talking for a couple weeks then not talking for 6 months or so, we just started talking again a couple days ago but this time it seems different we seem to be getting along much better and it just feels different, i am starting to feel as if were picking up where we left off 5 years ago, her parents and friends hate me of course because of what i have done to her, i am now about to be a police officer and her parents still think i am out doing drugs and committing crimes like i did when i was younger, what am i supposed to do here, her friend told me last summer that they talked about me once and she started crying because we had so much chemistry and we let it all go, that has to count for something right? that means she still has SOME feelings for me right? i dont know cuz its been so off and on for us, when we are together we flirt like you couldnt believe we finished off an entire bottle of champagne to ourselves like it was straight out of a movie i was pouring it for her and all that it seemed perfect but then we will just get into a fight and she will tell me she hates me and we wont talk for 6 months until we run into each other around town, then we talk for a while maybe hang out once or twice and then the whole thing starts over again, but this time feels different, what should i do? should i trust my heart and go for it or trust my brain and just chalk it up as the biggest loss in my life and try to move on? i broke up an engagement because of her, she doesnt know that but shes the reason why i got out of my engagement, we act like we dont love each other like we just talk as friends and argue a lot but i am in love with her....any thoughts?

[SS Gal]

For starters, I'd try being on my best behavior with her. That means no fighting. It sounds like you take one step forward and two steps back with this girl. You need to show her by your actions that you are not the same person you were back when you guys first dated. Start slow and work up to some casual daytime outings and when/if things are going well, have a heartfelt conversation with her. Tell her what you've just shared here and if you tell her you've changed and can/will be the man she wants/needs, mean it. You broke her trust and her heart once. Don't do it again. If that sounds like too much to ask of yourself, do yourself and her a favor and move on.

[Reath]

I'm just about to turn 21 years old. Before I start, I wanna tell you my past where I dated this girl for about 1 year and a half when I'm 16 yo. After 5 years ago... now ya listen to me nao, kay? Me a pimp been pimping with lots of gals out that man since after that b!tch left me nao yo but joo see, even until nao she's the only b!tch I loved yo! She's the only b!tch which made me do sh!ts for her!

I've got a penis dangling down there yo! This penis of mine is so hawt and wild it started have a mind of his own! Man, I will have to admit that I cheated on that b!tch but I stopped that shits just when sh!ts are about to be blown up! I'm a man, you get it? Nao that you know how sh!tty I am, believe or not I cheated on her every ****!ng weekend! WOW! I hurt mah b!tch like hell by sleeping with her BF! Now look here, I only did that after we broke up. I realized how manly it was that I slept with the b!tch BF and now I feel like sh!t in the bag and guess what? I blamed it on my age which is I'm a 17 f4ggot and I was thinking with my penis so shoot me.

The final thing is yo, I'm in love with this old b!tch of mine and I will do every sh!t stuffs out there to get her back to suck mah penis. Guess what? I kept pestering her over these years off and dirty talk with her which made her stopped talking to me for 6 sh!tty months. After that we started all over again. Nice right but this time, things seems different yo. I started to feel like we are paired up like a b!tch with her bad boy again.

I feel like things are being picked up from where we left off 5 years ago BUT there's one whole chink gang out there hatin' my guts yo. Cause I'm da man, you can't stop me from messing my b!tch. She's mine!

I'm a police officer now and her parents still thought I'm out there dealings with drugs and crimes like I did when I'm a m4ggot.

What should I do now? I ****ed her BF and I started talking to her friend who told me last summer they had this convo yo, talking about me DA MAN that she started b!tch cry saying how MAN i am yo. I'm superb she says! Woo but I'm the man, I've to let it go because my penis have a mind of his own but that count as something right...?

The message is heavily edited is advised not to be read by angry people.

[Totally unedited]
That means she still has SOME feelings for me right? i dont know cuz its been so off and on for us, when we are together we flirt like you couldnt believe we finished off an entire bottle of champagne to ourselves like it was straight out of a movie i was pouring it for her and all that it seemed perfect but then we will just get into a fight and she will tell me she hates me and we wont talk for 6 months until we run into each other around town, then we talk for a while maybe hang out once or twice and then the whole thing starts over again, but this time feels different, what should i do? should i trust my heart and go for it or trust my brain and just chalk it up as the biggest loss in my life and try to move on? i broke up an engagement because of her, she doesnt know that but shes the reason why i got out of my engagement, we act like we dont love each other like we just talk as friends and argue a lot but i am in love with her....any thoughts?

A quick review on the unedited version:

... she still loves me. I loves her. We flirt like nobody's business and we still fight like couple do except the cold war last for 6 months or infinite until I met her in the town. Should I follow what I'm feeling right now or just toss it away like it's the biggest loss in my life and "move on".

I broke a wedding engagement with my fiancee because I loved this girl from the past. We act like we don't love each other but we act like a couple and I'm in love with her. Any thoughts?

End of review

Seriously, you gave me that idea of how you talk by acting that way. I think I conveyed my thoughts up there...

[LuckyLuke2B9]

what the hell....are you retarded?

[Reath]

what the hell....are you retarded?

If I am, I won't be able to quote you!

[LuckyLuke2B9]

that doesnt make....nevermind have fun in your magic land

[Bumble_bee]

Reath???? what was that all about?

you should tell her..you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.......you might say you will lose her friendship, but friendship isn't much fun when you're loving her and its not being reciprocated.

tell her you still care for her, that you made yr mistakes but would love to take things slow and have another shot....I think from what you say...she does still care, otherwise she wouldn't bother with your cheating ass now would she.....