Saying 'I love you'

[carrie1986]

I REALLY need help and a guy's perspective on what just happened on a phone call to my boyfriend. This may seem like a long-winded question, but I think the background info helps so bear with me...

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year (on and off at the beginning) and we seem to both be a bit scared to say 'I love you'. During the summer one morning, I jokingly said 'you don't like me anymore, to which he replied 'Yes I do, I love you', but I just giggled and said nothing in return. Since then there's always been a feeling like we both want to say it but never do, guess for fear of the other not saying it back.

He's away travelling at the moment for two months, but lately has started writing things like 'All my love' and 'Love always' at the ends of nice texts, a small step for most couples - but I like to think of it as his way of testing out the water, so I say it back in return.

BUT, I spoke to him on the phone today for the first time in a few days and was so excited and we had so much to catch up on. When he said he had to get off the phone, he asked 'Do you still like me?' and this is how the rest of the conversation went...


Him: Do you still like me?
Me: Of course I do, I love....Oh my god...Like you. (I abruptly stopped myself before the you when I recognised the mistake)
Him: (Laughing) Ok, well I miss you, you take care

I was so mortified I simply said 'Ok, bye' and hung up the phone...

He knew what I was trying to say, and he didn't say it back
I always thought that it would be safer to wait until he says it, because if I were to say it and he didn't say it back, what can you do? I can't stay with someone that either doesn't love me, or won't say it - what's the point?

So what do I do now?!

I'm so horrified by what happened, my initial girl reaction is to ignore him for a few days and hope he says it back, but knowing guys, it won't be as simple as that...

Please help/offer advice! I'm almost certain he does love me, despite the fact we haven't actually said it, our relationship is very serious and intense, but now I'm afraid I'll have to end it because he didn't say it back... :s

[chump4u]

What a (cute little) dummy you are. Of course your guy loves you: he's already told you that, and written it to you again and again. Believe him.

Him: Do you still like me?
Me: Of course I do, I love....Oh my god...Like you. (I abruptly stopped myself before the you when I recognised the mistake)
Him: (Laughing) Ok, well I miss you, you take care

I was so mortified I simply said 'Ok, bye' and hung up the phone...

He didn't say "I love you" during this phone call because he could tell that you were "mortified" by your "mistake" in nearly saying it to him. He considered your feelings, and thought that you might think he was "rubbing it in" and trying to cause you embarrassment if he kept the "like you/love you" conversation going. Your guy's a gentleman for letting the whole thing drop.

I'm so horrified by what happened, my initial girl reaction is to ignore him for a few days and hope he says it back, but knowing guys, it won't be as simple as that...

Please help/offer advice! I'm almost certain he does love me, despite the fact we haven't actually said it, our relationship is very serious and intense, but now I'm afraid I'll have to end it because he didn't say it back... :s

Oh, now this is the dummy part. You're going to punish him for your "mistake," and for letting the conversation end without embarrassing you more? And you're thinking that his courtesy in letting your "mistake" slide is possibly a relationship ender? DUMMY.

Quit that.

What should you do now? You definitely shouldn't "ignore him for a few days:" you should see him just as soon as you would have done if your phone call had never happen, and you should probably give him an extra-big kiss for being such a nice guy. Beyond that, you should completely forget that you were stupid enough to think of ending your relationship over a couple of words that weren't said.

[Amy0x]

If your relationship is as serious as you say, and you love and know each other well then can't you just call him and explain how you got embarrassed saying 'I Love You' on the phone the other night as you need to hear it from him also.

Good Luck.
And don't throw your relationship away on a silly mistake.