Separated, not getting a divorce!

[joejoe3]

I have a gf who has been separated for over 1.5 years and is in no hurry to even file for a divorce. Her husband is in no hurry either. They live in separate states and carry on with visitations, child support, alimony, etc as if they are divorced but have not filed and have no plans to do so.

They have been married for 20 years and have millions in debt. That's why I am told a divorce would be economically disasterous for each of them, so they wait until things get better.

In the meantime, I have been seriously dating her, with her children alot, and plan to be with her for a very very long time or marry someday. Plus, we are starting a business together as well.

Should I be concerned that she is not getting a divorce?

[Gigabitch]

You should be concerned about starting a business with someone who has millions of dollars of debt, shared or otherwise. What the hell are you thinking?

[girl68]

You could be held liable for her debt once you do business with her.

[loudrims_inc]

my advice to u would be to: "Protect yourself in the future!! It's important to always look at a relationship and ask yourself, "What's it costing me to be in this relationship?" If you totally lose yourself in it, then the cost is too high." -Dr. Phil


Are you in the US?? If so, its illegal to marry someone who is still married! Then if they get a divorce, they are responsible for there own debts and if u decide to marry her then, u both will share that debt...so u better be smart about this! JUST DONT MARRY HER!!

[loudrims_inc]

[URL="http://www.drphil.com/plugger/"]http://www.drphil.com/plugger/[/URL]

[bloodtippedrose]

It sounds like they're being reasonable about the cost of divorce. I wouldnt worry about them not having an official divorce until its time to propose.
Also I agree with watching yourself with her as a business partner. She shouldnt be worrying about starting a business, she should be worried about paying off her debt. How do you even get so much in debt? Go on a shopping spree everytime youre pre-approved for a credit card with outrageous APR? Buy cars or houses that you know you cant afford? How massively irresponsible. Multiply that with thousands more people like her and thats the reason USA is in an economic downfall.

[joejoe3]

[QUOTE=loudrims_inc;496268] "What's it costing me to be in this relationship?" If you totally lose yourself in it, then the cost is too high." -Dr. Phil


I really like than quote in the previous thread by Loudrims. This relationship is costing me ALOT financially. And I sometimes feel like I do not get a reach around.

[Cbrider]

Is this a troll? How do you rack up millions in debt?

[misombra]

credit card debt maybe.

or perhaps they went into business together and gathered up tax debt.

both have reallly high interest rates and penalty fees.

[misombra]

I sometimes feel like I do not get a reach around.

lol wtf?
________-

[joejoe3]

Still has a home to show for it, however, in this economy when the housing market stinks and when you owe more than it can sell for you got troubles. Plus, business ventures that did not turn out, etc. But that is the not the issue.

The issue is should I be considered that she is not getting a divorce. Plus, now she is broke living off of me as well. So this relationship is costing me alot of money that I don't have. I think she is afraid of divorce because it could cost her alot and she may have to move back to her home state as well and give up the lifestyle here. I told her to consult an attorney but has not. Any ideas?

[SS Gal]

Sounds like you are being used to me. My advice is to run, don't walk away from this woman and the mess she's in. She will only suck you into it, which means sucking you dry as well, as she already seems to have done from the sounds of it. And yes, you should be getting concerned that she's not getting divorced. They are waiting until "things get better". My money is on that day never arriving until the ex husband meets someone who he wants to marry and that forces the situation. This woman has you so she has no need/hurry to fix the situation so she can be legally divorced. Sounds like you already feel a little bit of resentment....it will only get worse over time.

[chump4u]

Tell your parasitic "girlfriend" to:

1. Get a divorce.

2. File bankruptcy.


If she refuses to do either one, cut her loose. If she does both, start planning a future with her-- but not before then.

[jayne]

We if you feeling the need to marry her and she's NOT concerned with getting a divorce??? and this is all over money???

Id you at the kind of person she is and look at who you are. Are you with her because of the money.

Are you two in love?

[bloodtippedrose]

She has no money. Shes in debt.
This post wasnt even about money, we just turned it into money ;P