Should I ignore her?

[marko23]

I met this girl at a friends' party and there was something about her style that got my attention. She's reserved, kinda shy but has this smile that wanted me to get to know her more. I got her number that night and asked her out.

We've been out for 5 dates now (in about 2 months...) and I can't get close to her. She doesn't call... likes texting but for a short period and expects me to do that if I ask her out. I still can't hold her hand because she gives me that look as if we're not going out....

I've showed her my interest by indicating that I liked her on the first night I met her... She said that she would like to hang out as friends.

Before the 3rd date she said she was feeling sick. Because of a mix of her "shy" personality and somewhat distanced attitude, I told her that I understand and that it's ok if she's not interested and that I can move on.. She convinced me that she still was interested and that she was really sick. I apologized and that phone call was the longest one I've had with her (10 minutes...) and got to know her more than I've had during the 2 dates before that. I'm saying that because when I tried having a conversation with her, her answers were very dry and were never continuous, my questions were always answered with a yes or no..... and that's it.

When I saw her last week she "warned" me that she's really busy for the next 3 weeks, which obviously means: no texting, no calling and no going out.

I'm trying to convince myself to move on but I don't know how to explain that I can't let her go because she's the first girl in several years that I actually have feelings for.

I want to add that she never had a serious bf... actually she told me that she had one and she broke up after a month because he wanted to have sex. I don't know how to tell her that I'm not like her ex and want to give her all my respect.

I'm 23 and I think I'm physically attractive. My friend tells me that I can get better because she thinks that the girl is boring and not that good looking but she has no idea how much I care about her. That friend invited me to a b-day party and the girl I have a crush on is invited.

My question is... if I see her there, what should I do? The 3 weeks haven't been up yet and I'm tired of playing the waiting game... Sjpi;d I ignore her and show her that I'm not dependant? or hang out with her during the party...
This is kinda weird because now that I actually fall for a girl, I have no idea what to do.

I'm thinking that she has trust issues with guys... that story with her ex must have pissed her off... but after seeing her 5 times, I have no idea how to convince her that she can trust me... I know that trust is gained and never instant, but should I even bother pursuing her with that attitude?


Thanks for reading

[Primo]

When she said she was busy for the next 3 weeks, you should've said no problem, give me a call when you get some free time and leave it at that. If she calls you can see how things develop, if she doesn't, take the hint.

[marko23]

Thanks for the reply...

I forgot to say that I responded with "no problem".

It's been 1 week since she gave me that "3 week" delay...

but I'm going to see her next week for that friends' b-day...

Should I play her game of ignoring?

[Primo]

Don't play games Marko, take her at face value. If she wants to pursue it with you, she will definitely get in touch with you when she's not busy. Unfortunately if she doesn't, then she's not into you and yes, it's hard, but let it go and move on.

[Rollerderby]

What, her fingers are broken for three weeks?

What is attracting you is that you can't have her. Therefore you want her more.

[girl68]

It doesn't matter all her issues, she's got to sort them out, she also has to want to sort them out. It's not up to you to keep trying to convince her you're worth it. You've done your part.

As for the party go, say hi, strike up small talk. Talk about why she's so busy, and "how's that going anyways". End the conversation shortly after (becasue she's a one word answer girl- you have better people to talk to...). Exit nicely and leave it at that. Don't full out ignore her, and don't give her your whole nights' attention.

[Disillusioned]

Take the hint and stop persuing her. She isn't interested. Wave hi and carry on. It's a crush, like you said.

[tanner]

It does not sound like she is interested in you. Say hi at the party but don't act like luggage. Give her some space and she if she pursues you. If she doesn't you have your answer.