totally confused

[pebbles78]

hi all.
I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. recently I was on her laptop and for some reason checked th history of her web browser. i saw that she had visited a dating website, many many times. i went to the web address and saw that she had a profile. i didn't log in and look at what was there though. i confronted her and she said that she was feeling a bit lonely, and just wanted to chat to people. i was very annoyed, obviously. we almost broke up because i felt she broken my trust. so she deleted the profile. secretly i set up a profile for myself and did some investigating. there was a profile for a girl whose description seemed all too familiar. the times this profile was active coincided with the times when my girlfriend was at home on her own. i simply texted the profile name to my girlfriends phone and she admitted it was her and that this was a new profile. again, she said that she was only lonely and wanted to talk to people. i wasn't very happy and demanded she close it. she did. but there was more. she had added some of these men to her msn and was also chatting there. she admitted this and uninstalled msn. but, she added one of these men on her facebook profile. he lives in another country but it makes me feel really uncomfortable. i told her this but she said i was being unreasonable, and that he's just a friend.
am i being unreasonable???

[HienStk]

wow i would feel kinda hurt aswell. Maybe u should just talk to her more. doesn't really hurt to spend alil more time with the girlfriend if she's feeling lonely. but ya that stings alil.

[RomantiGoth]

while I do not condone of what she is doing, I must say that what you are doing is just as bad

Many people have a profile on datingsites, and a lot are just there to have fun and to talk a bit... just like you are doing here... the difference in just in the name, and what meaning you put in what you are doing... If she is on the datingsite to find a date, then that would suck, but if it is true what she says, that she just feels lonely, then in my book that is okay...

The part where I think that you are mistaking in this matter, is by demanding that she stops all her activities on being social online. You took it too far. She also took a wrong turn, by deleting and then recreating a profile. But to me, her doing as you "ask" of her is a good sign... I understand her completely for saying that you are being unreasonable, but I also understand your position...

The problem of this is that either she is feeling lonely or she is "cheating" on you.. Let us assume the first, since to me it sounds more plaussible... Then you have to do something about it... instead of focusing your energy on cutting her off from the outside world, you should focus on "winning" her over again... Be as exciting as the people she met online.. Take it as a challenge... I know a lot might be at stake, but the it is the best way of doing it...

A simple start would be just to be together and do different activities together, since she says that she is lonely.. If you go to ThatLovelyRomance.com, you might find some inspiration for the both of you that you can do together... It would be best if you could get the (free) e-book there, because might be just what you need..

(sorry about the link thingy, but I cannot post links yet)

(sorry for answering, this is a girls forum, sorry)

[girl68]

Not cool on her part... and yours but she is the focus.

I think you've given more than enough chances. I wouldn't let her get away with any more. She's flirting for attention and fishing for compliments I can gaurentee. Why? Have you asked WHY she's so loney and needs all this attention? Either way I think she crossed the line one too many times.

And you do realize uninstalling msn and deactiving the msn account are completely different. She can log in on any msn and chat to these undoubtably flirtacious men.

[Gigabitch]

If this is a dealbreaker, why is the deal still on? You gave her n ultimatum once and she blew it.

It's over.

She needs to find a man who is cool with her pursuing attention from other guys. That's not you. You need a girl who is interested in you and you alone. That's not her.

It's over.