Trying to avoid a bad situation

[Severed_Heart]

To begin with I'm a very intelligent and free thinking individual. I'm really looking for ideas of what other people would do without the risk of complicating my personal life by potentially asking people who don't care about my emotional state or who might jeopardize my situation by sharing how I feel with the person involved. Sorry this is so long...

Here is a brief run down of my situation. First off I'm a 26 year old male and my last relationship ended in March so its been a good 7 months, I haven't been involved with anyone since then.

I work with a girl who until very recently I had little interest in. I had a mild attraction to her at first, but during my first conversation with her she said essentially that she had no interests and no hobbies except for drinking.

I'm an intellectual person, I have meditated for 8 years, study metaphysics, psychology, self development, philosophy, religious texts, science, anything which I find interesting which might reveal the nature of consciousness or something that will shine light on something in nature or the universe I'm curious about. Thus a statement such as "I have no interests" is an automatic turn off, I wrote this girl off as never gonna happen and moved on. She is a co-worker of mine so it's not like we were trying to date or anything, just hanging out with people after work as my work place is rather close knit and hangs out with each other all the time.

Fast forward a couple months, I had hung out with her a couple times but the conversation always found some awkward end, we would play computer games at bars or whatever, and eventually just go our separate ways. Nothing wrong with the situation, we just didn't click and my interests were widely divergent from her own.

Then one night we are talking and some how we get on the topic of religion. We end up having a great conversation, despite her not "having any interests" I discover she is very open minded and has a great mind, she had ideas and input on everything we talked about. I should add that since then, we keep having good conversations and a good time about anything we are doing, it opened up our relationship and shes a different person to me now.

Problem? She is with some guy she has been with for a year who in almost every way is my antithesis. Hes introverted, quiet, controlling, mundane. Furthermore I discover she has another quality that I admire, her and her BF have been fighting off and on, and she has shown great strength and independence during this, she basically stuck it to him and stood up for herself despite her gentle and even naive outward appearance.

Even this though only piqued my interest, until a few days ago. I realized suddenly and with tremendous force that this girl may be exactly what I need and want. She is so basic, so pure, so essential, so gentle, so honest, so genuine, yet despite this she isn't weak, has a mind capable of grasping complicated ideas about consciousness and the universe, can reciprocate on this with her own ideas, and is clearly independent.

These feelings for this girl are immensely strong, so intense it's almost unbearable. I'm not a jealous person, that she is with another guy doesn't bother me. I feel like I would wait for her to the end of time. I'm pretty sure if I tried I would in the least complicate her life immensely, if not destroy her relationship in a very short time. Thing is, I wouldn't want to ruin her relationship then later be like "Oh never mind your not as amazing as I thought you were". I realize initially there is always an infatuation with people, but this girl has completely stolen my heart and doesn't even realize its happened.

I'm not the kind of person who cycles through these sorts of infatuations, on average I have a relationship every two years or so, with some very casual dating in between. I have also never felt so strongly for a girl that I would consider outright telling her and seducing her just to show her how much I care for her. I feel like I want to give her everything, I know I can give her far more than her current BF ever will be capable of doing because I've met him. This isn't arrogance speaking, I have no reason to be arrogant towards strangers on the internet who I'm only addressing for this one question then will be gone probably forever from this forum (no offense to anyone, just being realistic here).

My situation comes down to this. I'm OK with a situation where I bare my heart to her and she laughs, or goes away, or never talks to me again, or whatever, I'd probably get over it. I'm not OK with a situation where she reciprocates, leaves her BF, then a month later we aren't compatible at all for some unknown or unseen reason as often happens in relationships. Is it possible for me to explore my connection with this girl more without jeopardizing her life and risking hurting her immensely, or do I just have to trust that if she would so readily leave this other guy he's not good for her, and that even if I don't marry this girl she will have learned some valuable things about her self and her life?

In short: Am I just being weak and should just say something regardless of the consequences it might have for the future since I can't help or change how I feel?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts everyone.

[Gigabitch]

Whatever happens, don't continue to "explore your compatibility" or whatever the **** you're doing until she breaks up with this guy. yes, there's a risk you'll find out you're not as perfect for each other as you thought. In fact, I can guarantee it because it happens to absolutely everyone. You might be Mr. Intellectual, but you're still going to have to deal with all the pitfalls and dangers of relationships, just like us Plebs.

Her relationship with this other guy isn't your responsibility, it's hers. Lay yourself out there, tell her how you feel and then leave it up to her to make that decision. Don't even revisit that statement about jeopardizing her life or whatever it was that you said. That was pretty dramatic, considering you're just talking about possibly dating this girl.