Slight problem...

[Destaric]

Ill get straight to the point. I Have a slight speech impediment where often more then i like Ill stutter or slur words..If im nervous or anxious this can sometimes be elevated to very high amounts of stuttering but i kind of learned to control it to an extent but regardless I shall always stutter. I dont stutter because of an accident or anything I was Born deaf and was deaf until age 4 so i only began learning and understanding human language at that point and because of speech part of the brain developing late i have the stutter...everything else in my language is fluent and perfect though..

Basically my problem is Meeting new girls or getting to know girls while possessing a speech impediment. Before in the past this wasnt such a big deal as i met girls through friends and they would often tell them of my problem and that theres nothing wrong with me other then that and that even my intellect surpasses them lol. But anyway...Nowadays Im stuck meeting almost complete strangers and often times I find myself nervous and end up stuttering alot to the point where i feel like the girl might think I have some disorder or something and then i get more whatever and it gets worse..And basically..cause of this i havent been with anyone for about 5 years.

Theres nothing wrong with me..Im a good looking guy whos tall and keeps fit and active and works out and have a very humorous outgoing personality and am fairly smart and am typically considered one of the nicest people someones ever met out of the group. However I feel this speech impediment is holding me back heavily...Do women feel intimidated or nervous about guys they dont know who might have a slight speech impediment? and how does a guy with a speech impediment better his chances with the opposite sex when there is no friend type deals? I remain fairly positive but i fear if i dont get these questions answered i might be stuck alone for another 5 years lol. Thanks in advance for anyone who has anythin to add to this

[girl68]

First of all get more practice with strangers, and girls. Talk to them more often. At coffee shops, resturants, anywhere. Hopefully over time your nevers will just be easier to keep in check and with a little more time talking to new folks won't make you nervous at all, or just a tad.

Secondly, I don't understand why you still can't use friends' and aquaintences to get to more people? Expand your social circle. Go out with friends who invite other friends. Get to know those friends and then go out them them plus new friends. Keep going. The more you talk in social situations the less nervous you shall be with time.

I personally might be a bit put off at first converstaion- I'll admit but if you're as cool as you say you are with a little time and a lot more talking that wouldn't be a barrier that I couldn't overcome.

[Gigabitch]

You can only date total strangers? Why is that?

[Bumble_bee]

I personally might be a bit put off at first converstaion- I'll admit but if you're as cool as you say you are with a little time and a lot more talking that wouldn't be a barrier that I couldn't overcome.

I agree...the problem is when you first meet someone, not many people have the patience....not your fault of course. I also agree that it will take some gpractice, girl's suggestion are spot on...go out there, even if it's not to get a date with a girl, just try striking conversations up with people in and out of your current circle...you learnt to control this before, you can do it again, just a confidence boost and some practice should do it..and certainly don't let this hold you back, 5 years is far too long to let this get the better of you, you just need to kerb the nerves, which is what is probably causing the stutter in the first place.

[IndiReloaded]

Have you looked into hiring a speech coach? I'm serious. If you can find someone who is used to working with executives and actually has some *real* education in voice mechanics, you might find some help.

One immediate thing comes to mind: you write reasonably clearly, based on your posting here. Write out some scenarios involving meeting girls. Get your friend or siblings (if you have a sister even better) to help. Get a digital voice recorder--Olympus makes a pretty decent one--and PRACTICE. Listen to yourself and pay attention to the stumbling areas & repeat until you get better.

Once a girl gets to know you better, the speech thing won't be a big issue. Lots of very intelligent people have all sorts of things like this--speech, dyslexia. Its more common than you might think.

Hope this helps.

[Destaric]

Have you looked into hiring a speech coach? I'm serious. If you can find someone who is used to working with executives and actually has some *real* education in voice mechanics, you might find some help.

One immediate thing comes to mind: you write reasonably clearly, based on your posting here. Write out some scenarios involving meeting girls. Get your friend or siblings (if you have a sister even better) to help. Get a digital voice recorder--Olympus makes a pretty decent one--and PRACTICE. Listen to yourself and pay attention to the stumbling areas & repeat until you get better.

Once a girl gets to know you better, the speech thing won't be a big issue. Lots of very intelligent people have all sorts of things like this--speech, dyslexia. Its more common than you might think.

Hope this helps.

Yep i did discuss this with my family doctor. As it turns out the only speech therapists around specialize only in children lol. Apparantly he had found one that helps the adults too but i havent heard back from it yet..

Writing out scenarios where i would meet people..Thats not such a bad idea actually..because if i can just survive the first conversation as girl said it might be a bit put off, id be fine i guess

Yeah girl68 you are right i should be talking to more random people in different situations as it might give me a confidence boost...Just usually when i start to stutter in alot its like a big shot to my confidence..I tend to back away and relax myself and continue but that usually creates an awkward situation. My nerves are behind alot of the problem..I want to leave such a great first impression i get nervous or excited which doesnt help my cause at all lol.

Far as the friends things the problem is all my friends in this town actually dont know any available girls..and thier girlfriends dont even have even available girlfriends..as crazy as it sounds..I explored all i could and theres not a single singularity in the group except for me lol The expansion of friends usually rotates to people im already friends with..Im guess you could say im kind of unlucky in a way.

Really good advice though from everyone..I am feeling a bit more hopeful as i was getting worried lately that my problem might doom me from finding anyone period lol. But yeah i need to focus..Positivity and no negativity