Breaking up over me not wanting kids, and him wanting them

[beeper]

My boyfriend of 2 years and I are breaking up because he wants to have children in the future and I do not. I feel so crushed and am completely heartbroken. I love him so much and thought him and I would be together and get married. A couple of months ago, he said he would sacrifice having children for me, so I thought the topic of children was behind us. I have never felt the way I do about him, about anyone else. I am 28 and I want to get married and not be lonely. Yet I feel like I will never find a man who doesn't want children, and just wants a relationship and to be happy with someone, just as I do. Everyone around me seems to be getting married or at least getting engaged. Out of the millions of people in this country, why can't I find someone who wants the same thing I do??? I am so devastated. I don't want to be alone, but right now the prospect of being alone forever almost sounds better than ever even having to RISK going through another break up. I guess any advice or words of encouragement would be really welcome right now. I am so hurt. He alone is enough for me, yet I alone am NOT enough for him. Is there any worse feeling that exists than THAT???

[vashti]

Although there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children, he was wrong to ever agree to sacrifice having them to keep you. That is too much to ask of anyone.

Maybe in the future you should address this topic early on so neither of you end up surprised in the end.

[beeper]

I never asked him to sacrifice for me. He did it on his own and told me a couple of months ago. He has known throughout the entire relationship that I did not want kids. When I brought it up as a concern a few months ago he said "Well it's obvious that you never want children and I am still here aren't I? I figured not having children would be my sacrifice to you." I never asked him...

[RonHH]

Beeper, I'm going to hit on a different approach to what a small few men think about having kids.
I'm not saying he is this way !! but there are a few of us out there.
This is how I felt at one time long ago about kids. By the way, I'm not like this now.

Everything can be fine, you love him he loves you but something in the relationship starts
to change. As he tries to figure it out he can't quite hit on it. Insecurity might start setting in.
Not bad at first, it happens slowly you don't see it. In his mind he is trying to figure out how to
lock down the relationship. What better way then to have a child, Now you have to stay with him,
this is the only way to have proof positive you will stay with him. If you don't want kids then you must not
want him either will be his thoughts.

I'm not saying he is this way, but I have done it and I know others have too.
Just giving you something else to think about.
Take care
Ron

[Gigabitch]

How many threads are you going to post on this subject?

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/off-topic-discussion/35408-attention-woman-need-advice-having-kids.html[/url]