where's romance?!?!?!

[elle]

I decided to change something in the way i behave with guys. it may seem like a small thing but it's pretty big actually. i used to think it's kinda creepy when a girl shows her interest or even talks to a guy first, i thought it was like offering yourself (like a prostitute). But now i think it's not exactly true, after all like in my first ever thread, (not so pretty girl who talkes to guys vs my pretty cousin who prefers that a guy takes initiatiative) those girls usually get even more attention, even if they look a bit weird.
Only now i've no idea what's okay and what's too much-->creepy (like everything pretty much seems creepy to me)
I want your opinion. What is okay in your opinion for a girl to do first and what's creepy? How do girls usually show that they're interested in you?

[Lipp]

It's just i'm the only one here who honestly admits it, i bet you all want money, otherwise why did you bother studying, applying to U, and getting a good job..
And we all choose our partner, not just because we're in love, but also because of other qualities like responsibility, being able to provide for family etc. I'm just the (only) one who doesn't try to lie about it. Yea, i'm also looking for love, but successfullness of a person is what helps me fall in love with him also, it's a normal female instinct and the ones who don't have it (tho i think the overwhelming majority does, just pretends it doesn't matter) often get into trouble.

Obviously most people want/need money, however the problem we have with you is

1. People get educated/work/fulfill a service to get money. Your approach is that,

• Just because you consider yourself to be pretty you aim to free-ride off a rich guy.
• You fail to realize how nonsensical that is in terms of being chosen amongst a myriad of other pretty girls, having little to offer other than looking pretty and being a sex toy,
• That you will be having to tolerate all kinds of crap to get support by being entirely dependent
• Being stuffed up if the guy leaves since you will have little else than a measly education and no work experience at all.
• When you turn 30 you will be disposable.

2. Choosing a partner. Which brings us to your initial post.
Your whole idea of equating that throwing money at obvious gifts with little thought and focus on being valuable only in monetary terms = actions of love?
Yes, economic stability is important, but when you aim for the things in point #1, it becomes far more dominant than finding actual love, or having a happy relationship altogether, but perhaps you wont get why that's such a bad thing until you have spent a few years in a love-less marriage and lose your best years to a chubby oil magnate.

[girl68]

I have almost always been the one to persue. Yes, I've been rejected, but more times than not it is a welcome relief to the men I do approach. My theroy is what I want, I try to go get it; I don't sit around and wait for the guy I want to come approach me. I've had 3 very sucessful approaches that have turned into 3 long term relationships.

[elle]

I have almost always been the one to persue. Yes, I've been rejected, but more times than not it is a welcome relief to the men I do approach. My theroy is what I want, I try to go get it; I don't sit around and wait for the guy I want to come approach me. I've had 3 very sucessful approaches that have turned into 3 long term relationships.

How exactly did you persue them? Did you literally ask them out or..
And how did you get rejected.. like publicly in fron of all the friends, or he just never showed any signs of attraction?
And how do you know if your persuing a guy that he's not making fun of you with his friends...
and is it likely that if you do get a guy he will say, in a serious situation when you need help or smth for instance "it was YOU who wanted me, i didn't promise you anything"...

[Lipp]

You have to walk up and say "Hey stranger. Meet me outside in 5 minutes. Then we can go to your car."

[girl68]

Elle, I hestitate to tell you only becasue I was looking for real love, without all the money, trips and expensive gifts. I'm looking for JUST a companion. And yes, I want money, but I only want enough to live a comfortable life. Believe me when I say: I'd take my "poor" guy over a old fart, who was a workoholic, who only bought me expensive yet meaningless gifts- anyday.

When I was rejected it's exactly the same as when a woman rejects a man who asks if he can buy her a drink or to dance. "Thank you, but no thanks" "I'm flattered but I have a gf".

How do I know he's not making fun of me? I don't, unless he's that big of an asshole that he turns around and laughs out loud. And if he did, thank god he turned me down- he's an asshole, and rude to boot.

A good guy would never say "it was YOU who wanted me..." and again if he did thank god I'm not wasting anymore time on this asshole.

[IndiReloaded]

Elle, you're not fooling anyone. Leopards and spots.

Still the funniest troll on the forum, tho.

[elle]

Elle, I hestitate to tell you only becasue I was looking for real love, without all the money, trips and expensive gifts. I'm looking for JUST a companion. And yes, I want money, but I only want enough to live a comfortable life. Believe me when I say: I'd take my "poor" guy over a old fart, who was a workoholic, who only bought me expensive yet meaningless gifts- anyday.

When I was rejected it's exactly the same as when a woman rejects a man who asks if he can buy her a drink or to dance. "Thank you, but no thanks" "I'm flattered but I have a gf".

How do I know he's not making fun of me? I don't, unless he's that big of an asshole that he turns around and laughs out loud. And if he did, thank god he turned me down- he's an asshole, and rude to boot.

A good guy would never say "it was YOU who wanted me..." and again if he did thank god I'm not wasting anymore time on this asshole.

so you just derectly asked him.. i think I'M not self confident at all then

[girl68]

You're so far beyond the line of self confidence that the line is just a dot to you.

What you are is petrified of not being the little bombshell that you think you are.

[Mish]

It's just i'm the only one here who honestly admits it, i bet you all want money, otherwise why did you bother studying, applying to U, and getting a good job.. And we all choose our partner, not just because we're in love, but also because of other qualities like responsibility, being able to provide for family etc. I'm just the (only) one who doesn't try to lie about it. Yea, i'm also looking for love, but successfullness of a person is what helps me fall in love with him also, it's a normal female instinct and the ones who don't have it (tho i think the overwhelming majority does, just pretends it doesn't matter) often get into trouble.

Yeh most people don't mind having a little bit more money, the difference is in the motivation. Where you for example want money for self indulgent, self destructive and parasitic purposes, most other people seek more money so they can provide for their family, provide for their partner, better look after their parents, donate it to people in need and help others. In none of your posts have you mentioned a good, unselfish and genuinely contributing way of how you spend your money and likewise in none of your posts have you mentioned a genuinely positive attitude you display to your partner. The way you look at a potential partner is how a CEO looks at a potential cash cow they can milk until there's nothing left.

So are your attitude and motivation the same as everyone elses? You are nowhere near it. You will run into millions of problems in the future because of it. In a way, I feel sorry for you.

[Junket]

I'm an asshole.

[misombra]

but elle was a respected future member of the private party forum!