Sacrafice, Love, and my broken heart

[IncognitoSir]

***Long Read, Please bear with me***

Im gonna try to be as complete with my story as possible ok. First of all my gf and I are seperated by about 200 miles, really not that far but, we consider it a LDR. As of next friday, I'll be moving to her city....finally after a 3 month LDR. Originally we lived about 20 minutes apart and saw each other everyday and spent most of our time together. We jus celebrated our 1 year anniversary in september. When she moved away......we missed each other soo soo soo much and it hurt so bad. As everyday passed by I we made a uge effort not to grow apart. The only communication we had in the LDR was phone calls/text messages. For a while that was working just fine. Then all of a sudden she "wasnt recieving my calls." She says they didnt get thru to her, even though it would ring all the way to voicemail which i found hard to believe. She also wouldnt respond to my texts a lot of the time or in a timely manner. Now I do realize people get busy and what not, but how busy could you be? She has a job and is taking 2 college courses. Thats no busier than she was when we first met. I told her how I felt because it seemed that we were growing apart then and she blew me off kinda....like i was over reacting. This continued and I eventually blew up one night when she wouldnt answer the phone. I gave this girl aa place to stay before she moved away from me when she had nowhere to go, I was her ROCK when she had nothing solid to lean on, not even her parents. Even though it's not good for me, I put her before myself at times. I get angry when I come to visit her some weekends (2.5 days) and she dosnt give me much attention. Like shes more concerned with her friends and what not. I get like maybe 6 days outta the month with her and I still cant get her full attention, it frustrated me! I've told her all of this. 2 Nights ago, we got into a argument and she told me she hasnt changed, but.......she also says she doesnt know what she wants...............when we started dating, she knew what she wanted. She basically wants to hang out a few time a week now, 2-3 maybe. This is not how it used to be. Everything has changed. We didnt even speak on the phone yesterday, and I'm in her city RIGHT NOW. I'm always the one that has to call or text, maybe not ALWAYS, but most of the time. I feel like I'm putting in soooo much and not getting back. Now I'm moving here in less than a week and she doesnt know what she wants. I know I'm not perfect and I've messed up, but I've put forth so much into this relationship it makes me wanna puke if I think about not being with her.

FYI
Im 24, she's 21
This is my 1st love
This is her healthiest relationship ever according to her
I love here more than I could explain
We lived together for 2 moths before she moved away
We have always been very much attached to each other...until now

Can somone please give me some advice? I need help, I feel like I'm about to explode! Some days Im happy, right now, I feel like shyt. Im so lost, I've never felt so strongly about another person that I could put them before me at times. All help is very much appreciated and thanx in advance.

[IndiReloaded]

LDRs are hard. But since you are moving to her city, just see how it goes when you get there. Don't put too much pressure on your relationship for now, stay cool. Keep your interactions light & fun.

Like I said in the other thread, relationships change, especially young ones. Hard to say at this point what is driving her behaviour, but if you pressure her that won't help your situation at all.

Good luck.

[IncognitoSir]

Thanks Indi, I saw her today at her job. I kept everything pretty brief. She seemed pretty excited to seem, I know I miss her, but I know Im not happy right now. At the same time, I'm not ready to give up on our relationship because I do love her. I'm gonna take your advice and roll with it and I pray everything falls into place nicely. I just hate how this makes me feel. Anyways, thank you very much for the reply!

[IndiReloaded]

We've all been there, Sir. One advantage you have that my generation didn't is we now know that 'love feeling' is brain chemicals designed to make you 'go nuts'. Forewarned is forearmed, etc.

Keep busy with other things. Work, study, friends, whatever. It will help take the edge off. If all else fails, go for a run, do pushups, whatever it takes to burn off the energy.

[IncognitoSir]

[QUOTE=IndiReloaded;508011]We've all been there, Sir. One advantage you have that my generation didn't is we now know that 'love feeling' is brain chemicals designed to make you 'go nuts'. Forewarned is forearmed, etc.

Keep busy with other things. Work, study, friends, whatever. It will help take the edge off. If all else fails, go for a run, do pushups, whatever it takes to burn off the energy.[/QUOTE]

Thats exactly what I plan on doing! Its really been getting to me today and I really feel better when I can stay occupied. Advice taken!

[loudrims_inc]

hey IncognitoSir, i was in the same situation a few years back. To keep it short and sweet, i was 23, she was 21, lived about 40 mins away which wasnt bad, she made some new friends in college and we went from seeing each other once a week to once every 2 or 3 weeks, she spent most her time off with her friends, i would call her and she would call or txt me back a few hours later saying she didnt receive any calls and this was all the time, i told her she changed and she denied it.

The most crucial blow i got from her was when one day i was getting a tat done and i called her afterwards cause i was excited about it and wanted to tell her what i got and she seemed careless and later on in the convo i asked her, "It seems like u dont love me no more"...she says, "That could be it" ... i said to myself, holy ****! after that it was over, i couldnt do it no more...just sharing my story with u bro, good luck with your situation but if u really love her and she loves you then keep trying!

[IndiReloaded]

i asked her, "It seems like u dont love me no more"...she says, "That could be it" ...

??? There are some cold women out there. Wow.

[Primo]

Ya, I'd call that a crucial blow LR :-D

[IncognitoSir]

****UPDATE****

So, 2 days ago I moved to the city where my gf lives. We made plans to cook and eat dinner together Sunday night. Didnt get to see her at all Saturday and she's very very disatnt toward me all Sunday, I keep my cool though because I'm really looking forward to dinner with her right. Anyways, the time comes when she's supposed to get off from work and I dont hear anything from her. Hours pass by and nothing, so I call her, no answer, Itext her and she replies immediately. Bottom of the line, she completly blew me off last night. She was chilling with her friends as I waited on her at her place. I BLEW up! I asked her when she would be home so I can come get my things, relationship over. She starts crying and begging me not to break up with her. I moved to this city to be with her and she has been completly blowing me off since I got here. Avoiding me. Fast forward 45 minutes, she gets home I come to get my thingsand then shes starts telling me how bad her week has been and all this drama she had at work. She actually left work early because she couldnt "keep it together" (crying). I had no clue this was the case, why, because she completly shut me out. We talked about out relatinoship and discussed what we wanted. I guess you could say we made up a bit, but Im still super pissed, I told her how shes been treating me and how I felt about it all. She says she'll always love me and she doesnt want to lose me. So, I moved here 2 days ago for a lot of reasons, but mainly for my love, shes treating me like shit, I feel like shit, Im lost all over again. I feel like I'm being pulled in 2 different directions. WTF. We're still together, but I really dont know how much longer I can do this. At the same time, I cant imagine being without her. I feel silly, but this is whats going thru my mind.