Is Hating a way of getting over???

**xecutioner85** · 05-11-09, 01:48 PM

She broke up wid me almost two months have passed... Bt i jst cant get her out of my head... Wen i remember the gr8 moments v shared, a smile comes on my face as well as tear drops... coz of the pain i got in the end... she said she dont feels for me any more... I still love her i know... bt shud i hate her to forget and get over her??? some times i do remember her wid hatred coz of wat she did with me at the end... She Broke my heart and it ****in hearts.... I talked to her few days earlier... She said her life is OK... and she is doing good... bt she said that she dnt have any regrets and she holds no grudge or hate for me... bt i dnt feel da same... I regret on y did it finish.. and y the **** she had to finish wen there was way of getting things to work.... Shud i HATE her?? HOW?

**RonHH** · 05-11-09, 02:09 PM

Hi, I don't think hate is the way to go. Some will say it helps you get over someone faster but I think you lose part of yourself doing it. A true love just doesn't go away fast.
It takes time to mind a broken heart but you will be a stronger person for it.
I'll be hoping the best for you, Take care.
~Ron~

**TheScareCrow** · 05-11-09, 02:30 PM

I don't think hate does any good in any situation. It's a negative emotion and that hate you direct at her still resides inside you. I know that if I hate someone I want them to know it.. and it sounds like you're not talking to her anymore so whats the point? All that hate would just be inside of you and would go nowhere and you'd end up in an even worse spot. Give it time man, it's not the end of the world. Try spending more time with friends and doing other things so she's not on your mind as much

**xecutioner85** · 05-11-09, 07:09 PM

Yeah i think you right... Two years of relationship cant go in 2 months... She really was a good person in my life... bt i have to hope dat there is some1 better dan her for me somewhere.... i hope i get the better one soon...

**RomantiGoth** · 05-11-09, 07:13 PM

stop the hating and start the crying

on a more serious note, you should not hate her. Why would you even want to? Besides the point that the memories of her hurts and stings! No, my advice would be to be sorry and feel the pain. It will help you later in life, if you learn from it. Let the wounds close, and remember the scar for all the good things it brought to you.

As for getting her out of your head... It is hard and it is going to take time... One way of speeding up the process is by changing your life and your habbits.. Get some NEW imput in your life.. Do something that you always wanted to do, but just never did.. Go live a little, when you feel like you can manage the pain and the memories...

Best of luck

**qwertz** · 05-11-09, 08:38 PM

Life is too short to spend time hating someone..and if they are bad enough to want to hate then they are most certainly not worth the effort needed to hate them!!

Trust me, i know, i was a very bitter person for a while in my life, until i realised lifes too short.

**Primo** · 05-11-09, 10:46 PM

You don't hate her. You loved her and she's moved on in life without you and you hate 'that'.

We go through the entire gamut of emotions when something that was so intimate and loving ends...it's part of the healing process. You'll be fine :-)

**ournishani** · 07-11-09, 02:13 AM

be cool and think deeply whatever happened was for your betterment?sometimes it does happen

**MrFantabulous** · 07-11-09, 09:00 AM

Yes it is, you may not hate her directly but the person she did things with, or the things you did, but hate is most definitely part of the grieving process.

Sadness
Denial
Anger
Relief

You're almost there!

**confused444** · 07-11-09, 03:39 PM

hatred is the key to move on for me..
hatred give power...
even if it's surely a negative power, does it really matter??

my girl friend left me after 1year in a serious relationship, when she left me she went out with 5-6 guys since this 1month we broke up!! she's flirting/having sex with all new guys she's meeting...so i hate her for this...
i don't know the real reason why she's acting like this...
might be she is crazy in love with me but want to forget me & trying to replace me with one of those guys..
might be i hurted her & now she want to do same to do me...
might be it's my fault...
might be some people would say you can't hate the person you love the most but it's possible...
there's just one step separating love from hate!

the person that brought the biggest ''love & happiness'' in your heart can also brought the biggest ''pain & hatred'' , as it hurts when someone betray you but it's harder when someone you trusted & loved betray you!

why did i cry?
why can't i eat?
why can't i sleep?
why do i always drink alcohol?
why do i feel so depress?
why do i love her so much after all this things?
why do i miss her so damn much?
why do i regret all those sweet memories?
why does it hurt so much?
why did i become so pathetic?

the main reason is because i used to lack hatred!
why should i be sad for a girl who is surely having sex with a new guy at this moment?
if she is killing myself more & more, why should i not hate her?

saying love is beautiful is bullshit! love is pain!
some lucky persons might be happy with it but it's just like a lottery...
you can win by luck but on average you lost!

**youaremysong** · 07-11-09, 06:01 PM

Hate is just a defense mechanism. You tell yourself, "She's short, she's dumb, there's someone else better." But that's what you use only as a DM because she dumped you. Just man up and move on. No need to hate. Meet new people!

**confused444** · 08-11-09, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by youaremysong

Hate is just a defense mechanism. You tell yourself, "She's short, she's dumb, there's someone else better." But that's what you use only as a DM because she dumped you. Just man up and move on. No need to hate. Meet new people!

lack of hate towards this person quite often can don't let the broken heart to move on! you would keep searching excuse to forget her mistakes(even if there are no real ones) , you would start to get regret feelings about things you did not do to save this relationship & you would always search excuse to be with her, to see her even for some minutes...
while you hate the person, you won't even want to see her face & hear her again! might be you would try to take a revenge but all kind of people got their own way to move on! for me i burned everything she forgot at my place & this helped me a lot!! i still love her, i won't deny but just like eamon's song : **** you ! i don't want her back! if someone hurts you, stop searching excuses & just tell her ''**** you'' !! the only person who is worth you cry for is the person who would never let you cry!

**curves222** · 09-11-09, 05:30 AM

I disagree with most of the posters. I have always found hating the person who hurt me as very thearapeutic...at least at first! If I think of them, I will zero-in my hate and annoyances at their picture in my mind as well as think of all the reasons why I'm better off without them. I will keep doing that, like a mental rubber band, until I start thinking of them less and less.

However, once that initial, soul crushing hurt is over and I am in a happier place, then it is important to forgive their transgressions. Not for them, but for your healing.

**Primo** · 09-11-09, 05:56 AM

Originally Posted by curves222

However, once that initial, soul crushing hurt is over

Curves, you sound like you'd be a hard chick to break up with. I always felt devastated to break someone's heart, but if I knew I was crushing their soul I don't think I could ever do it

**qwertz** · 09-11-09, 06:09 AM

Primo you are one of a kind

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