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Thread: Friends of my wife having toxic influence?

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    Friends of my wife having toxic influence?

    Lately, I feel like my wife's friends are hammering me down for no good reason.

    For example, my wife regularly gives me a set of tasks to do around the house during the weekend which causes me to give her the "yes, your Majesty" bow. We both laugh about it. It's simply an inside joke between us about how I've never really made a huge fuss about the work she assigns me. It's not about servitude. It's just trying to be a good husband and she often tells me she adores it.

    When some of her friends had seen her delegate some stuff to me + the teasing, they later confided to her about how much of a 'wuss' I seem. They furthermore told her about how they would never be with a man like me, because I'm not headstrong

    My wife later told me about this, and I couldn't help but get upset. Could someone really reach that conclusion based on a small little repertoire like that? Am I really being a wuss?? Should I feel even a little worried/threatened that they're saying this to my wife, and ask her to tell them to bugger off as I think their talk is antagonistic?

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    screw her friends. they're jealous.
    baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.


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    dude...they have pricks for husbands and they're trying to consolidate for it by lying to themselves. its 2009 - headstong men usually marry bitches like your wives friends... you got a good one

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    I agree with Miso. You sound close to a perfect husband & these women can't think of anything nice to say.

    What you *should* do, tho, is validate your wife for communicating this to you. Because now you can actually do something about it. Point out to her how any of those women would love if their husband worked around the house the way you do (happily). Tell her what we said here--its just jealousy. If her friends really cared for her, they would be happy you are so great.

    Catty women should be ignored for the bubble brains they are. Tell her that too.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Believe me, they all went home and told their husbands about how you are her bitch and their husbands all laughed and called you a wuss, then laid awake thinking about how you must have a bigger wiener than they do and that's why your wife is with you.

    Simple, simple men.

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    I see no wuss. A wuss is someone hiding behind their macho man attitude. I am sure she appreciates your help.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

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    Quote Originally Posted by the algerian View Post
    Lately, I feel like my wife's friends are hammering me down for no good reason.

    For example, my wife regularly gives me a set of tasks to do around the house during the weekend which causes me to give her the "yes, your Majesty" bow. We both laugh about it. It's simply an inside joke between us about how I've never really made a huge fuss about the work she assigns me. It's not about servitude. It's just trying to be a good husband and she often tells me she adores it.

    When some of her friends had seen her delegate some stuff to me + the teasing, they later confided to her about how much of a 'wuss' I seem. They furthermore told her about how they would never be with a man like me, because I'm not headstrong

    My wife later told me about this, and I couldn't help but get upset. Could someone really reach that conclusion based on a small little repertoire like that? Am I really being a wuss?? Should I feel even a little worried/threatened that they're saying this to my wife, and ask her to tell them to bugger off as I think their talk is antagonistic?

    To answer your first question, "[could someone make such a strong judgement based on small, observable acts such as the ones you've mention]?", we must look at this logically.

    Let's say you're a lab rat under constant analysis. You have observers. The observers place one piece of cheese on each corner of the room you're in. You show the observers that you constantly eat the cheese that is placed at the top-left corner of the room. The observers have no choice but to think that you're only attracted to the cheese at the top-left corner if they have no outstanding deviations from the pattern they normally see. It would be illogical. Certainly, however, these observations aren't completely analogous to your actual interests. These are merely discernments based strictly on what was observed.

    In your situation, your observers are your wife's friends. Your cheese is the type of respect you and your wife share. The cheese can be obtained through multiple pathways, but you appear, to your observers, to choose one. In your case, the pathway you choose is the seemingly-submissive one, where you appear to be "bowing down" in order to please your wife and gain her respect. But, just as our rat scenario goes, you aren't necessarily one who only decides to choose this path to gain your cheese. This is strictly what the observers ascertain based on the only components they have for making any judgments. Therefore, they can come to such conclusions.

    Your second question is, "Am I really being a wuss?" Well, that is up to you. Asking yourself that makes you look like a person with only as much confidence as a wuss, in m opinion. I'm sure others share this opinion.

    And don't fear unfavorable talks your wife's friends have with her behind your back -- be cautious, however. In the end, your wife knows the real deal. If she appears to feel like she doesn't, then remind her. That's all I can say.

    I hope this helped.

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    You're not a wuss but yeah, of course people will say that. So would the husbands if they saw you. Her friends are saying what any normal person would say if they saw you bow. They would laugh and make the "whip" noise.

    Now, whatever works and makes you and your wife happy, that's all that matters. At the end of the day you are being a good husband and your wife appricates you. Leave it at that.

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