How do I heat things up?

[JohnandZack]

Like I have said in another forum, I am a thirty-two year old homosexual male that has been with the same partner for about fourteen years. We started dating in high school. Since high school, we have had sex possibly hundreds of times, but lately it has seemed that Zack hasn't been quite too pleased with my performance. And I just don't get that same rush I used to when we were younger.

I was wondering if any of you knew a way we could add a little more zest, if you will, into our relationship. Like always, any advice would be much appreciated.

[nonconformist]

Take a Redbull?

[Artemis]

Talking about it is probably the easiest way. Watch a tasteful sex scene in a movie or two, and have that spark a conversation about what you'd like to try in the bedroom. Perhaps you or he (or both) have a fantasy you'd like to act out, or a position you've always wanted to try but never been bold enough? Here's your chance. One of my exes and I used to take turns pretending we were asleep, and the other would then "confess their desire" to the sleeping one. Takes some of the pressure off a confession like that.

Another good way to spark your sex life is to do something non-sexual that you've never done before together. Take a fencing class, or take up pottery together. You'll be amazed what a difference it makes in your relationship, which will then translate into the bedroom.

Best of luck.

[qwertz]

turn the heating on

[Gigabitch]

You're too young to be acting like an old couple in the twilight of their sex life.

Okay, so he's unenthused, but what about you? Are you satisfied? Do you want more? Would you like to try new things, have sex in different places? Are you otherwise happy or is it more than the sex that seems to be leaving him lukewarm?

[JohnandZack]

I don't think that I'm too young to wonder how to make my sex life better. And it's just too much of the same. Sure, I'm satisfied, but I am pretty easy to please. As far as trying new things and new places, every time I've asked to try something different, he refuses and insists that I am strange for asking. And as far as happiness goes, I'm more then happy with him. If I wasn't, we wouldn't have been together for so long.

[Gigabitch]

Did you misread what I said? I said you're too young to be bored already. ****, look at what I say, not just my screen name.

[Artemis]

Well, if he's not open to new things, then you do the things you do, and with ardor. I'm not really sure how I can help you if you want to "heat things up" but get shot down when you try something new. Is this secretly not a sex problem but a relationship one? Have you two been doing things together and separately? Remember, time to yourselves is just as handy as time together sometimes... gives you that anticipation of the partner coming back again.

[Only-virgins]

Fire does the trick.

[Cbrider]

Fire does the trick.

Lmao, I saw the title of the post and the first thing I thought was "microwave?"