what to do?

[trisha]

There's this guy, we dated 8 times and it's like we're almost in a relationship AND he was suddenly gone like a wind...i tried to call him but he's out of reach and text him a thousand times but i got no response.he's working out of town so i cant go to his house and ask him whats wrong...i waited for a week for him to call or text but he never did...i made a thread bout him in this male forum, entitled "what went wrong".let's call him Mr. R.

After 12 days, i met someone new, the new guy is cool and very charming--we really clicked as well,but he's 1 year younger than me.Let's call him Mr. N ,he's single and i assumed already that I'm single too because Mr R was gone like the wind already-- so this new guy and me agreed that we would be exclusively dating...

Last Saturday, i saw Mr. R in the bus, he told me he lost his cellphone that's why he was not able to call or text, he asked for my number and i never gave it to him cause for me he's just making an alibi( I was with my mom that time and kinda in a hurry that's why we never chatted for a long time)----BUT a while ago, he called, he was able to have my number again , he got it from a common friend...He said he was sorry for not texting and for not calling.

The problem now is i still like Mr. R but how will i tell Mr. n about this?... Mr N is nice but then I feel more excited with the thought of seeing Mr. R.. This is a small town so if I'll date Mr. R again i have to end my agreement with MR. n..

and guys, do you think I'll prefer Mr. R over Mr. n? hmm

[RomantiGoth]

my advice would be to sort out your feelings... but be honest to yourself as it is possible to have strong feelings for more than one person! You have to figure out what kind of feelings you are feeling towards either men... e.g. do you feel love, true love, happiness, lust, friendship, soulmate, etc... try to go from there..

and anyhow you choose, you have to be completely honest with the guys... give them the whole story - in person!... there is no reason to be a bastard, by lying, writing an email, etc...

[QuanSai]

There's this guy, we dated 8 times and it's like we're almost in a relationship AND he was suddenly gone like a wind...i tried to call him but he's out of reach and text him a thousand times but i got no response.he's working out of town so i cant go to his house and ask him whats wrong...i waited for a week for him to call or text but he never did...i made a thread bout him in this male forum, entitled "what went wrong".let's call him Mr. R.

After 12 days, i met someone new, the new guy is cool and very charming--we really clicked as well,but he's 1 year younger than me.Let's call him Mr. N ,he's single and i assumed already that I'm single too because Mr R was gone like the wind already-- so this new guy and me agreed that we would be exclusively dating...

Last Saturday, i saw Mr. R in the bus, he told me he lost his cellphone that's why he was not able to call or text, he asked for my number and i never gave it to him cause for me he's just making an alibi( I was with my mom that time and kinda in a hurry that's why we never chatted for a long time)----BUT a while ago, he called, he was able to have my number again , he got it from a common friend...He said he was sorry for not texting and for not calling.

The problem now is i still like Mr. R but how will i tell Mr. n about this?... Mr N is nice but then I feel more excited with the thought of seeing Mr. R.. This is a small town so if I'll date Mr. R again i have to end my agreement with MR. n..

and guys, do you think I'll prefer Mr. R over Mr. n? hmm

In all honesty, you sound like a real jerk. I'd usually give an explanation for why, but I don't feel it's necessary. You won't understand.

Loosen up. This is an easy problem to solve. It's like remembering ax''+bx'+cx=f(x) while working with String Theory.

[RomantiGoth]

In all honesty, you sound like a real jerk.

awww, come on now... what would you do if your partner just up-and-left for 12 days, without really saying anything to you? or, better yet, the girl that you have been dating for like, say 8 times?, did the same to you?

I would be heart-broken.. and sulk for about a week.. then I would start living life again - getting over the "sorrow" of loosing a catch...
but then again, I start sulking after 1 day of radio-silence..



uhh.. and at trisha - the internet exists and some people check their emails once in a while... other than that, there is facebook, twitter, etc.etc.. a future reminder

[trisha]

quansai-- why do you think I'm a jerk? I need to know, i think it's necessary. please

[trisha]

rom,

thanks for the reply. yeah i have to sort out my feelings, I'll do that asap and thanks for not judging like what quansai did, but well it's his prerogative to call me a jerk.

[trisha]

and rom, by the way, I like Mr. R better,so I think the only problem left is how to tell Mr. n about this one...

[QuanSai]

rom,

thanks for the reply. yeah i have to sort out my feelings, I'll do that asap and thanks for not judging like what quansai did, but well it's his prerogative to call me a jerk.

I will not explain, however, I should point out that I did not call you a jerk. I stated that you sound like a jerk.

I hope you solve your problem.

[trisha]

oh yeah, sorry, i didn't notice that, my bad....

[RomantiGoth]

hmm.. there are a lot of different ways to say: "sorry, but I found someone else"

depending on how close you are, you are going to have to take the responsability to tell him in person.. weather it is a short talk on the street, a longer talk over a cup of coffee, or a really long talk at one of your places... But you have to make it clear when inviting him out to the talk, that you have bad news to tell him.. he might want to hear it on the phone, or he might just hang up, already guessing what have happened..

but for his sake, and your own, get it closed so the both of you can move on without any weird expectations/guilt/stings attached

[trisha]

thanks, I'll do that. he seems nice , and he deserves explanation ...