Post here instead of contacting your EX!

[headamess]

Apologies this is an essay!

Several things really hurt me and piss me off about how you finished it this time. Friends think you have been manipulative. In any criticism of you, I’ve always defended you, saying that you don’t know what you want. And most of your actions I can accept in the context of this but there are some I can’t and these are the ones I mention below.

One, you were so ****ing apologetic about hurting me and yet you repeat what you did, but in many ways in a worse way. Two, while I accept quite a lot of what you said might have been you genuinely being hopeful, telling me you wanted to keep falling for me was obviously a total lie ie you do not dump someone you are falling for a few days afterwards. And you saying that made me genuinely hopeful in ways none of the other stuff like going on holiday together did. Three, you came on the phone to me, saying ‘I can’t do this anymore’, like it was some ****ing hardship being with me. **** you. And finally and I regard this is the most hurtful (along with telling me you were falling for me), you didn’t even have the respect for me to come and tell me to my face. You sent me a text (which anyone who got would have phoned immediately about). And you tell me over the phone. What would it have taken you to have given me a hint that something was up towards the end of the day, still have come through and just spoken to me like an adult. I tell you what, it feels like it would have been too much hassle for you. We agreed to try again as adults face to face and to speak more, yet you dump me like a piece of shit practically via text, at best on the phone, when I am once again in an environment I can’t control and can’t escape from and yes, I’m really angry at you for being selfish in that way. I deserved more respect than that. And as much as anything, that is what I’m angry with you for. And I’m angry at you for ending it in such a way that I am left angry at you. Because if anything from that extra month with you I thought that we were becoming closer in a way that we might get a friendship out of our relationship at worst.

I write these things because I need to get them off my chest. I’ve tried not to be hurtful. I don’t want you to respond to what I have written. Nothing you can say, no excuse, nothing can make me feel better. The idea of being with me appealed as an idea but you never really cared for me. Hurting me makes you feel guilty but has nothing to do with having any feelings for me.

I don’t want things to end with animosity but I can’t hide that I’m angry with you and I think you have to hear what I’ve just said.

I wrote this a day or so ago and already I’m less angry. I’m left feeling sad and missing you which is how I think I would have felt if things had ended differently. I’m sending this anyway. I don’t know if we can be friends but I know that if we are to have any chance, I have to get my hurt and frustration off my chest.

[headamess]

that's funny that they blanked out my swearwords!

[michaelarwas]

why does my love mean nothing to you? why have you gone from being the one (your words) and wanting a family just after uni to becoming a slag who doesnt care how im feeling?

[michaelarwas]

why does my love mean nothing to you? why have you gone from being the one (your words) and wanting a family just after uni to becoming a slag who doesnt care how im feeling?

edit: in fact i'l do this properly because nothing i do can stop me thinking about you.

All the times you said your name was tatooed across my heart did that mean nothing to you? All the times you said i was the boy of your dreams did that mean nothing to you? All the times you said you would never let me go or hurt me, did that mean nothing to you? All the times you said you loved me did that mean nothing to you? All the times you said never let me go, stop me from walking no matter what did that mean nothing to you? All the times you talked about our future and said "affy will get that for you" in the card shop THE DAY YOU BROKE UP WITH ME did that mean nothing to you? The same day you took me and kissed me so passionately did that mean nothing to you? If not what does anything mean to you?

You finally broke up with me after a year and a half by a text and a slap. You're not here to feel my pain, you were there on that Thursday and then you weren't. You let in other boys just days after you drove a stake through my heart- you havent even given us time to heal. You deserted me at my lowest points, and have eliminated me from a life that i have filled every day in some way. You make my eyes wet everytime i shut them, break my legs everytime i walk, cut my face everytime i look in the mirror. You promised me everything and have given me nothing, stole my heart and wont give it back. I love you with all my worth and now you treat me like dirt. I dont think il ever forgive you for this, you ended us on a lie. And every day i can feel you changing for the worse moving further and further from the person you once so wanted to be. I miss the girl you were endlessly. I got a lot wrong but i would die to give you one day longer. I hope you are happy in the life you have chosen, i love you enough to give you what you want even if i have no choice. In doing so i have sacrificed everything i wanted myself. I think about you every moment of every day. This time last year you were sitting on my bed watching me unwrap the stocking you got me. This year you have no idea the pain im in. But its fine because you dont have to see it, only me and my soul can see my planned future crashing to the ground. One day you will know how this feels, one day.

[pinkscorpion]

I know that it's been 2 years and I haven't talked to you at all or even talked about you very much to anyone in those 2 years.

However, I've thought about you EVERY SINGLE DAY because you hurt me so badly. Worse than anyone had ever hurt me before. At first, it was unbearable. I'd wake up, go through my day, and go to sleep in complete emotional agony. I still don't know how I got through it.

It's gotten easier, of course, but I still miss the person I thought you were. It still sends a sharp pang of resentment, guilt, and general unease when I am reminded of your existence. And HER existence.

It hurts that you're still with her. I was hoping that you couldn't make it work with anyone so I wouldn't feel like the problem was me. But you can make it work with her, so I still can't help feeling that there must be something wrong with me. I don't want you back. I know that. But I want you to be miserable because I still am, underneath all my academic and personal success.

You may be failing at life and stuck in a tiny town. You may have dropped out of school after almost a decade in undergrad. You may be getting fat and not doing much.

I may appear to be a confident, vibrant, happy woman and sometimes that is true, but my loneliness is always in the back of head. I can't seem to hold onto a man and I can't seem to pick the right men. And you and her are still together, even if you're not terribly successful in....anything at all, really.

Why is it that I can do so many seemingly impossible things but I can't have a functional relationship to save my life?

Why didn't you pick me over her?

I don't understand anything.

[Moe]

The thing that hurts me more then anything with my Ex is I was so careful not to do the wrong thing. The fact that she just 5 days before I was shi* on we talked of marriage and how that day was the happiest moment of her life. She actually said that her heart felt so right when I said I can't wait to be married. We hugged and nearly cried. In my book it's a lie no one can change that quick.

This Christmas just sucks so darned bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the last three years were a week celebration of Christmas, all the home cooking, cookies and dishes the kids just picked out. It was the best. Now she's gone with her three, My 2 older sons blame me and one moved out the other's never home and my young daughter is just sad as hell. We went from 8 to 2 in a few months.

I know that it's been 2 years and I haven't talked to you at all or even talked about you very much to anyone in those 2 years.

However, I've thought about you EVERY SINGLE DAY because you hurt me so badly. Worse than anyone had ever hurt me before. At first, it was unbearable. I'd wake up, go through my day, and go to sleep in complete emotional agony. I still don't know how I got through it.

It's gotten easier, of course, but I still miss the person I thought you were. It still sends a sharp pang of resentment, guilt, and general unease when I am reminded of your existence. And HER existence.

It hurts that you're still with her. I was hoping that you couldn't make it work with anyone so I wouldn't feel like the problem was me. But you can make it work with her, so I still can't help feeling that there must be something wrong with me. I don't want you back. I know that. But I want you to be miserable because I still am, underneath all my academic and personal success.

You may be failing at life and stuck in a tiny town. You may have dropped out of school after almost a decade in undergrad. You may be getting fat and not doing much.

I may appear to be a confident, vibrant, happy woman and sometimes that is true, but my loneliness is always in the back of head. I can't seem to hold onto a man and I can't seem to pick the right men. And you and her are still together, even if you're not terribly successful in....anything at all, really.

Why is it that I can do so many seemingly impossible things but I can't have a functional relationship to save my life?

Why didn't you pick me over her?

I don't understand anything.

[Yducky]

Today will be my 1st day, 1st of many days i will be dreading and suffering.....

I hope there's light at the end

[w3llborn]

i thought i knew you sooo well and a now i find out that you were seeing a co-worker from CVS who is ****ing 30, almost 300lbs, lives in his moms basement, smokes pot, and has no friends. you dumped me for him, hahaha. i cared so much about you and tried so hard to help you. you didnt go to college and i tried to get you in many times because i knew it would help you get out of that shit hole CVS and you always said you wanted to get outta there. haahhahaa i hope you and your new stud of a bf (joking!) have a great life working at CVS together when im done with college and become a state trooper and have a good live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god it feels good to let that out!

[Yducky]

I want to spy on my ex via fb , i want to know what shes doing now...

its so hard, i need to stop, think about something else!

[w3llborn]

I want to spy on my ex via fb , i want to know what shes doing now...

its so hard, i need to stop, think about something else!

NOOOO Don't do it man, just don't. Trust me, it just makes things so much worst. The only way you will be able to finally move on and forget about her is to stop thinking about her. If you keep on looking at her facebook and check up on everything that she is doing, it only hurts more. That's what I did and now I have stopped, it has helped. Also try not to look at old pictures of the two of you as it will bring back the good memories and make things harder for you.

[Yducky]

NOOOO Don't do it man, just don't. Trust me, it just makes things so much worst. The only way you will be able to finally move on and forget about her is to stop thinking about her. If you keep on looking at her facebook and check up on everything that she is doing, it only hurts more. That's what I did and now I have stopped, it has helped. Also try not to look at old pictures of the two of you as it will bring back the good memories and make things harder for you.

yeah, i agree, thank you for your support, I just miss her so much even though she treated me like ****. But saying that, I will take in your words and just post here instead lol.

I've been crying most of a day today im such a wimp lol.

[shheadz]

It's really hard for me to accept that our relationship has vanished. There was a time when I really thought we were made for each other. I really thought you were the one I was looking for. There were a lot of fights and misunderstandings between us, but we deserved each other, and it was never going to be perfect. We're not perfect people. I really do love you, and I think you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on. I really wanted you to be my girl forever.

[Faceless111]

I've been crying most of a day today im such a wimp lol.

You're not a wimp for crying. I know what it's like to feel that way though. I actually envy you for being able to cry and hate the fact that I can't. I'm still in love with the girl that left me, which is sad. But what's sadder is the fact that that doesn't bring me to tears. Unfortunately, society has attached such a stigma to males that show emotion that once a guy does, he feels like he's less of a man for doing so. That's not true though. It's healthy and normal. Let it out, buddy.

That being said, I really wish I could talk to my ex. She asked me to delete her number from my contact list. I did. I don't ever want to lie to her again, so I promised that she would never have to hear from me again. But I've memorized her number and the temptation to just hear her voice again is driving me insane. More than anything, I want to tell her how sorry I am. I'm sorry for the way I never fully appreciated her. I'm sorry for taking the little moments for granted. I'm sorry I didn't compliment her enough when I was always thinking she was the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life. When we broke up, she said it wasn't my fault. But I feel like I have no one to blame but myself.

[shheadz]

I've been crying most of a day today

There's nothing wimpy about guy crying for the right reasons. The loss of someone close to us is certainly a good reason.

[w3llborn]

You're not a wimp for crying. I know what it's like to feel that way though. I actually envy you for being able to cry and hate the fact that I can't. I'm still in love with the girl that left me, which is sad. But what's sadder is the fact that that doesn't bring me to tears. Unfortunately, society has attached such a stigma to males that show emotion that once a guy does, he feels like he's less of a man for doing so. That's not true though. It's healthy and normal. Let it out, buddy.

That being said, I really wish I could talk to my ex. She asked me to delete her number from my contact list. I did. I don't ever want to lie to her again, so I promised that she would never have to hear from me again. But I've memorized her number and the temptation to just hear her voice again is driving me insane. More than anything, I want to tell her how sorry I am. I'm sorry for the way I never fully appreciated her. I'm sorry for taking the little moments for granted. I'm sorry I didn't compliment her enough when I was always thinking she was the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life. When we broke up, she said it wasn't my fault. But I feel like I have no one to blame but myself.

That is the exact same thing I went through. It was mainly because I took our relationship for granted and thought that I knew her so well I could do basically whatever I wanted. She never really told me what was on her mind, and I guess it was building up for some time to the point where she just finally said that it was over and she was done with it all. It sucks, but you cannot put all the blame for the break-up on yourself, it only makes things worst and makes you wonder what you could have done in the past that would have made things different. At this point, there is most likely no going back, so these thoughts are essentially useless and will cause you more pain and agony. I did the same thing, deleted her number from my phone and she blocked me on AIM and Facebook, so there is no more contact. Its for the best in the long run because it only brings back memories when you talk to her and you would be just re-opening the wound. You just have to remember, as much as you miss her, she probably is not missing you because if there was a big enough reason for her breaking up with you, then she has probably been thinking about it for a while. Try to move on and hang in there.