Post here instead of contacting your EX!

[irrelevant_89]

Not sure if my non-girlfriend counts as "ex", but after reading around and thinking a little I think I finally figured out what I've done wrong. Would tell her this, but wouldn't do me any good I think.

I think I finally get it. Nobody wants to date a guy who can't take the initiative, who always apologizes for everything he does, when he does it, who takes decisions in function of others, and not himself, who does not have a true self-identity.

Perhaps if I had acted more like a man and less like a pushover you would have seen something else in me.. but I can't pretend to be what I'm not. For you I allowed myself to be humiliated, hurt, and eventually heartbroken, and it's not your fault, it's mine, for just being so weak.

Damn, I wish you had never told me you had feelings for me - I became a different person that day: from proud loner to desperate and lonely.

[pinkscorpion]

So I see things didn't go so well with the other girl, did they?

I was actually starting to think that maybe you guys were going to stay together, but karma rewarded my patience.

Now you get to feel what I felt for a year and a half after what you did to me. Now you get to feel like part of your soul got ripped out, stomped on, and thrown away in the garbage. Now you get to be pathetic and not know if you're going to make it from one day to the next.

Your pain from your recent break-up makes me happy. It was the last piece of my healing puzzle. I needed to see that you can't make things work with anyone. It wasn't just my fault.

You even dated the other girl longer than you dated me, didn't you? I guess Karma just let you stay together this long to insure maximum pain. Oh, misery is a cruel bitch, isn't she? Get ready to be curling up with her every morning, noon, and night for a long, loooooong time, my dear old ex.

If you attempt to come back now, I'm going to laugh in your face and make you feel worse. And I'll get immense satisfaction from it.

[dlinepassion]

First Thanksgiving, first Christmas, and first New Year's eve without you. Your family misses me, hell even your dog misses me, but you have a new boyfriend. I know that you're not as excited about him just by the way you talk about him, but at least he gets to be with you for now.

I miss your laugh and the way you told me you loved me. I'd give almost anything to have all that back again, and you in my arms. I know you still care about me, but unfortunately you fell out of love with me some time ago. It hurts. Especially since I would still do anything for you. And that if you came back today, I would hold you for hours, trying to get back all the hours we missed.

But I'm slowly moving on. I have my good days, then my bad weeks, and from that I know I'm healing. I may be having a bad week now, but soon I'll have a good day and have a few less miserable times ahead of me.

I'm not mad at you, just wish you would've understood things better and been a little more sympathetic, like you were at the beginning. But I do miss you. And I do love you. And all I want for you is to be happy, even when I'm in so much pain.

[TimeToGrowUp]

I was right.

In the past month I’ve traveled further down the rabbit hole. I have peeled back all the layers of the onion.

I was right.

It would’ve never worked out. My gut told me this a long time ago. I did not listen to it, instead I entangled my emotions, my love, and my world with you. Yet, along the way I duplicitously continued to drag my feet and is more than likely why we both are where we are today – not together. I didn’t understand it at the time. I made a lot of excuses for the shortcomings in the relationship, both yours and mine.

You were right.

This was my first long term relationship. Perhaps it was a function of my cautious nature, but at the same time I do need to learn to love more, get more in touch with my intimate side, to understand how important that is to cultivating a relationship.

Regardless, what you “needed” could not be provided by any one person as you have managed to convince yourself. You came from a tough upbringing, far more difficult than people can possibly understand. However, happiness does not come from how other people make you feel or how your body looks. True happiness comes internally. You just don’t know any better.

I was right.

All those times I was scorned for being too cautious of some of the people you surrounded yourself with. Yet, if you’re honest with yourself and you look back at all those failed friendships and people who screwed you over you’ll - see the truth. People you once told me I was wrong about, you now hate. I mean c’mon now.

I was right.

Right now you feel like you’re right. You feel like you had absolutely no role in this. You’re riding the emotional high of a person who pumped your ego up over the past couple of months as he helped you transform your body. You’re riding the emotional high of a person who sold you a dream. How quickly your love and emotions transferred over to him is alarming. You lied, you denied, you deflected, and attempted to "soften" the real story. You just don’t know any better. You were never taught any better. You know it, I know it. Rinse, recycle, repeat.

I will be right.

You’ve chosen a lifestyle and career chalk full of narcissism, body dysmorphia, substance abuse, and addiction. It is not normal to put your body thru what you are. All in the name of what, a trophy? Satisfaction from people oogling over your body? Is that where true happiness with one’s self lies? It does not. You’ll soon learn this. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but in time. And when it hits you like a 2,000 pound brick, I will be long gone. There was no way I could’ve followed you into that world, no matter how much I tried to convince myself towards the end. Your core values are simply not a match to mine.

I was right.

Don’t get me wrong. This hurt like a son of a b*tch. I feel like I’ve had to ween myself off some powerful medicine. There were days when I felt like I had woken up without one of my arms. There wasn’t a single aspect of my day that you didn’t touch over the last 4 years, as I’m still constantly reminded. Jeez, I nearly bought you an engagement ring, but in the end…

I was right.

[nov13]

"And when it hits you like a 2,000 pound brick,"

LOL... that's a heavy brick. ;D

[TimeToGrowUp]

"And when it hits you like a 2,000 pound brick,"

LOL... that's a heavy brick. ;D

It will. It's just a matter of time. The path she has chosen is not normal, not healthy. It just comes down to the fact that the girl simply does not know any better. This is who she truly is.

[Spilly]

Grrr.. Lying here with my cell on my chest, all I want to do is call her.

Ask her what the **** is up with the way she been acting lately, was what I did not enough?... Hope you feel better at my hearts expense...bitch..

I would have to throw the 'bitch' in at the end

[pinkscorpion]

You're already back with her and the point is driven home that I need to stop internet stalking you. It's just as bad as contacting you.

As soon as I see another miserable status on your FB, I'm blocking you so that my last memory of you can be of you being a broken, hollowed out, and pathetic shell of the man I thought you were. You never were really that man, though, were you? You were always lying. Always making up stories.

It's been almost 2 years. I'm still not over you. Now I know that I never will be. No matter how much better or worse my life gets, I'll always remember you and I'll always be in love with that memory.

That person never existed anywhere but in my head though, though, did he? You know, the man I fell so madly in love with? You made him up.

I despise you. You're subhuman and the fact that I ever let you touch me makes me physically sick.

[andrea_lansberg]

Why?Why?Why?
I haven't seen you for three weeks,and I got well,and yesterday I saw you,and it was like boiling water was poured on me.
You are the hottest, the most talented,the most handsome man in the world.I love you SO MUCH! I think that you will never find a girl that will have such strong feelings and such great passion for you. So what that I ... you know what. Yes we cannot be together, but my heart is with you. Only you turn me on. I love you! I love you! I love you! Please... don't ignore me, don't forget our secret kisses and our secret words. I love you more than you can imagine.I love you,baby. Please forgive me,but I just cannot let you go. I can't give this love up. I love you more than anything. So much.

[cmacattack1]

I went into this relationship not expecting anything. I told you early on that I didn't really want a serious relationship. Yet we still continued to hang out, our connection grew greater every day, and my mind did change in that I wanted you as a girlfriend. You felt like you were the one to change me and that everything would fall happily ever after.

This was the first few months. After which we sold to each other that we were both competent, independant and secure people. After which you told me you loved me and wanted to marry me, and I replied I love you too in the moment even though I wasn't sure. I will never forgive myself for that dishonesty. And we cannot hold that wall up forever. What at first was wanting to be around each other all the time, for you it slowly became a need. What was a secure girl who said she wanted to go to law school became the girl that had no idea what she wanted to do with her life and would be happy being a stay at home mother. What was a confident girl became a very insecure girl and that sense of insecurity was heightened by my insecurity in myself.

I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life either and was just living in the moment. When I moved away and distance set in, everything went downhill. My lack of confidence in myself led me to believe that eventually you were going to see right through me and not like the person that was there and leave me heartbroken. I was scared and afraid to give you my everything, and that is not the right way to handle a relationship.

You truly believed that no matter what we did for a living, how much money we had, or where we lived just as long as we had each other, everything would be perfect. That is not the case. I took the love you had and offered to me with texts, phone calls, presents in the mail, your support to cheer me up when I felt like a failure and took it for granted. I believe that your love for me would conquer all, but it doesn't compare to the lonliness and my lack of appreciation for you. I acted completely and utterly selfish, afraid to take my problems head on, too stubborn to work on things when you wanted to work on things and made my friends and my whims higher a priority then you. You on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, made our relationship your top priority and thought that it would the solution to figuring out what you were going to do in the future. We both had completely lost balance in our lives.

You made some ultimatums at the end of our relationship in another effort to save us, but not only was it too late, I didn't heed and pay attention. It's impossible to have a fresh start while still in a relationship. You became distance after I was so used to you showering me with your desparation and need, that it set me off when you stopped.

That was when you wanted to end it and even though the signs were there for months, it completely floored me. You no longer said "I could never end things with you" and by doing that I think you have become a stronger person. You confused me when you said "you are the one, just not now, I need space" after the complete lack of attention I paid you. I responded terribly with and angry letter, followed by apologies and too much attention and begging because I have "changed". I hadn't though, I was still as selfish as ever not giving you the space you needed and bringing up the hurt relationship and not letting you heal just for a chance to guilt and pity you back into a broken relationship.

I wrote one last letter saying that everything was going to work out fine, what we feel is genuine. To you that looked like "Oh you think you are getting another chance?!". I showed confidence in that I wasn't going to wait around for you but I was ready to work on things if you wanted to. I heard from you two weeks later sounding upset about something so trivial. I dropped my guard down and poured my feelings out to you one last time, not even asking for another chance, just an explanation about how things went wrong on my end, that I still love you even though you were not perfect too. Yet, your response is that what I've done is completely "unforgiveable", that you have a new boyfriend that is "awesome, nice, treats you right, and takes it slow"

[cmacattack1]

I could have still continued to contact you, but what would have been the point? Nothing I had done had brought you any closer to me and I would only be interfering with you trying to find happiness with another person. I want you to be happy, and although it kills me that you have the intimacy we had with another person, it's what you want.

I selfishly hope that it won't work out and that naively think that nothing can replace the connection we had for each other. Our experience together has really taught me alot about myself, about relationships, and taught me how to appreciate you and how there is a big world out there and that I am just letting it pass me by. Unfortunately, by being the one to dump me and win this relationship, you will think you are right and my behavior during our break up just solidified that. By the time you realize that you were wrong in many respects too, that we both needed to grow up, that we both were insecure, that we both were out of balance, your feelings for me will have been long gone. This is a reality I have accepted.

Love is not a transaction, it was wrong of you to hold it over my head all the things you did for me and how I didn't give that back. You chose to do those things and I never once used what I've done as leverage. Trust is also not a transaction. Just because you told me everything about you to the point where "I know you better than your parents" and when I had things on my mind I wanted to keep to myself, it wasn't right to angry or try and pry. I know I am very open about myself more or less, but it is a defense mechinism. I openly joke about my issues as if they aren't a big deal when you know me well enough that they are.

Even with all your flaws and wrong actions during our relationship and even with the horrible treatment and confusion you have treated me with during our breakup, I still love you because I know what kind of person you are at the core. I'm not saying I need you in my life to be happy, and I'm not saying I want to be back with the girl I used to date. I want to try again as a genuinely different person with you as a more grown and adult person. I want you to be my one right now, with all the possibilities and people in the world that have the potential to be a one. This is how I feel and will continue to feel until the day I wake up and do not feel that way anymore.

[andrea_lansberg]

That's it! Everyone can say "Congratulations" to me.
I'm finally over him!

[andrea_lansberg]

Haha!!! Yesterday I saw your face when I walked past you and didn't say hi!
Now you know how I felt these months!! Good for you! And,yes I noticed you following me after the lecture..didn't have the guts to say you're sorry? Now I see all the things I havent noticed when I was so in love with you. So happy it's over!

[SamFrmMelbourne]

Our boss called and told me to tell you about something. I get the feeling that he thinks we were and still are a couple. I just said yes to him but in spirit of No Contact (TM), I decided not to contact you at all. Woohoo!!

My mum is coming over in April and you have said to her you would take baby Eric with you when you meet up with her. I wonder where I will be when that happens. Oh, the ackwardness. :/

I'm sad but I'm laughing at myself, for my foolishness of making you walk away from my life. HAHAHAHA!

[QueenofCorona]

I want to delete you from FB because you have been no friend to me in the last two years, even though thats what you swore you wanted. You got your apology in for crappy things you did to me years ago and then you bailed, off your conscience now so good riddance, I'm guessing. Still though, I will keep you around as a reminder of how much better off I am without you and to be thankful everyday for the great man I have that you never were, nor will ever, be.