Confused.. need adivce.

[rep]

Okay, I'm sure this is somewhat of a typical teenage relationship, and it would fall into a stereotypical catagory of a young couple.. but I really love this girl. I've been going out with her for about 1.7 years and after tonight, I'm kind of wondering if she actually is the person she claims to be, because she tends to contradict herself left and right. PLease take the time to read this convo over AIM, and tell me what you think about that. Also, please don't be baised towards me because you would like to spare my feelings, I can take a little constructive critisism.

Remember, constructive critisism helps a lot, thanks.

(conversation is in following post)

[rep]

Girlfriend: taylor
reppa207: hi
Girlfriend: baby!
reppa207: sorry, i was taking a nao
reppa207: nap
Girlfriend: aw
Girlfriend:
reppa207: lol
Girlfriend: you know what made me really sad
reppa207: whats that?
Girlfriend: i was looking at our old conversations...
Girlfriend: and i remember when you used to always have my name in your away messages
Girlfriend: and you dont do stuff like that anymore
Girlfriend: im not even in your profile am i
reppa207: i dont have a profile, and i never use away messages :-(
Girlfriend: ...no you just dont put me in your profile
reppa207: :-(
reppa207: you dont put me in yours eitherr
reppa207: same for away messagesss
reppa207: :-P
Girlfriend: ...i know but i didnt used to
reppa207: baby, did we have any engineering homework
reppa207: ?
Girlfriend: hm.. i cant remember
reppa207: me neither
Girlfriend: i think just like signatures
Girlfriend: but...baby..........
reppa207: ?S?DFSDFjhdjfsfdj
Girlfriend: huh?
reppa207: i dont understand
reppa207: relationships change
Girlfriend: ...
reppa207: you stopped writing in your journal about me
Girlfriend: well...i really liked that
Girlfriend: hmmmm...go check it right now
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: ???
Girlfriend: wtf
reppa207: sorry
reppa207: but you were just saying i was wonderful because i didnt get mad at you
reppa207: :-(
reppa207: it's still sweet that you wrote that, you're wonderful tooO!
reppa207: but i was saying look at the 7 month gaps etc.
reppa207: you used to write constantly, and then you started to slowly stop
Girlfriend: because no one reads it
reppa207: well you knew i read it
Girlfriend: ....
Girlfriend: but the point is
Girlfriend: you used to put your little away messages up for everyone to look at
Girlfriend: not just for me
Girlfriend: when my diary stopped being for everyone else...i didnt need to use it to talk about you
reppa207: well baby, things change, and get different
Girlfriend: whatever
reppa207: ?
Girlfriend: youre just a jerk
reppa207: wtf?
reppa207: baby.. it would of been weird if i didnt change, you cant expect everything to be exactly like it was when we were first going on
Girlfriend: uhuh **** you
reppa207: things changed for you, you dont always want to hold my hand when we're walking
reppa207: ..what are you doing.. ? :-(
Girlfriend: ....what???
Girlfriend: i dont always want to hold your hand when were walking
Girlfriend: what the **** are you talking about
reppa207: well you dont like you did when we were first going out..
reppa207: why are you getting so mad at me.. ? it doesn't mean that i feel any less for you, it just means that the feelings matured and grew up, etc.
reppa207: just like yours did
reppa207: there's nothing wrong with it, and it doesnt make me a jerk, i dont understand how you can say that.
reppa207: :-\
Girlfriend: well you didnt ****ing answer me like that
Girlfriend: i said it
Girlfriend: and you said things change
Girlfriend: what the **** is wrong with you
reppa207: ginny, im sorry.. im not gunna talk to you when you're like this.. i dont understand what you're doing..
Girlfriend: then im not gonna talk to you at all
reppa207: ok
reppa207: ..you used to not say "**** you" to me.. :-(
reppa207: why are you all the sudden doing this, i didnt do anything..
Girlfriend: yes you did
Girlfriend: and you dont even realize it and thats what hurts even more
Girlfriend: i was upset about something
Girlfriend: like sad upset like crying
Girlfriend: and you did absolutely nothing to make me feel better
Girlfriend: you just said well things change
Girlfriend: it makes me ****ing sad that you dont feel that way about me anymore
Girlfriend: its not that our relationship has matured, its that your feelings are different
reppa207: you're so blind.
Girlfriend: what the **** is wrong with you
Girlfriend: youre an asshole what are you doing
reppa207: baby, nothing is wrong with me
Girlfriend: why wont you talk to me like a normal person
Girlfriend: youre so blind what the **** is that you sound so fake and stupid
reppa207: well im sorry you think that
Girlfriend: seriously
Girlfriend: i cant talk to you when youre like this
Girlfriend: you decide im wrong about something
Girlfriend: and then you talk to me like im 4 years old
Girlfriend: well im really ****ing upset right now
reppa207: i was trying to console you when you started telling me about that, and maybe i didn't say exactly what you wanted me to, but i didnt say anything wrong, i dont understand
Girlfriend: and you could care less
Girlfriend: you did too
Girlfriend: you just confirmed what i was upset about
reppa207: well it was the truth, it shouldn't be anything harsh
reppa207: you've changed too
reppa207: just as much as i have
reppa207: your feelings have changed
Girlfriend: WELL THATS WHY IM CRYING YOU ASSHOLE
Girlfriend: it is harsh
Girlfriend: and it isnt the truth
Girlfriend: asdkl;fj

reppa207: im not gunna sit here and be called names and yelled at when i didnt do anything.. im sorry you're upset about it, and i wish there was something i could do, but i really dont feel like being talked to like this :-(
reppa207: i wish we could talk :-(
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: stop iot
Girlfriend: shut the **** up right now
Girlfriend: you are the one who wont talk
Girlfriend: shut up
Girlfriend: dont say anything else
reppa207: and im sorry i said anything that you misunderstood, but i think i explained myself pretty clearly.. and you've changed too, you may not realize it.. but you did
Girlfriend: let me talk
Girlfriend: TAYLOR
Girlfriend: shut up
Girlfriend: listen to me
Girlfriend: i was upset
Girlfriend: reallly ****ing upset
Girlfriend: you didnt console me at all, you told me exactly what i didnt want to hear
Girlfriend: and then when it made me more upset, you started talking to me like i was stupid
Girlfriend: and you are wrong
Girlfriend: my feelings about you arent different
Girlfriend: our relationship is different
Girlfriend: we know eachother better
Girlfriend: we act differently around eachother
Girlfriend: but i feel the exact same way about you now as i did when i first fell in love with you
Girlfriend: and i feel like killing myself right now because you are telling me that that isnt true for you
Girlfriend: and i have to yell at you and call you names
Girlfriend: because you keep attacking me
Girlfriend: and i dont know how else to make you be quiet and listen to me and it pisses me off SOO much the way you treat me when you think im being stupid
Girlfriend: youre just a big ass
Girlfriend: and theres no need for it
Girlfriend: dont tell me i just dont realize it you dont nkow ANY better than i do how i feel about you.........taylor talk to me
reppa207: well i know you dont feel the same, because you completely dont act the same, and im not being an ass.. stop saying that, i was trying to make you feel better, i wasn't attacking you.. i really wasn't, and im sorry if anything i said came off that way, i really dont think it did
reppa207: i love you the same
Girlfriend: TAYLOR I FEEL THE SAME
reppa207: of course i do.. i just dont do the same things that i did when we first started going out.
Girlfriend: DONT TELL ME THAT AGAIN
reppa207: well then act like it if you do
Girlfriend: zcasdf
a g
reppa207: because you certainly aren't.
Girlfriend: shut up **** you what the **** is wrong with you why wont you listen to me why do you treat me like this
reppa207: what am i not getting
reppa207: what do you want me to say, exactly? because obviously that's the only way you're gunna be happy.
Girlfriend: dont ever tell me how i feel ever again
Girlfriend: nevermind
Girlfriend: ill talk to you later

[rep]

Girlfriend: think about how youre talking to me
Girlfriend is away at 11:22:25 PM.
Girlfriend returned at 11:26:07 PM.
Girlfriend: what is it going to take for you to stop and listen to me
Girlfriend: listen to what im saying
Girlfriend: because i mean what im saying
Girlfriend: im not making up shit because im mad at you
Girlfriend: im not lying
Girlfriend: i know exactly how i feel
Girlfriend: theres nothing im too "blind" to see
Girlfriend: if you cant believe what i tell you
Girlfriend: then theres a hell of a lot wrong with our relationship
Girlfriend: answer me
reppa207: ginny, i love you, and i wish i could help you.. if i was there i would give you a big hug because i dont like to see you upset like this..
Girlfriend: but..you dont agree with anything im saying at all
reppa207: i dont really understand.. im confused.
reppa207: if you want to know why i might feel different.. read what you've written, and read the words you've chosen to call me
Girlfriend: you are trying to tell me that idont feel the same way about you now as i always have
reppa207: i dont understand how i can respond to stuff like that, im not used to be treated like that, nobody has ever really done that to me.. and it hurts
reppa207: it hurts my feelings for you, and it hurts our relationship
Girlfriend: baby
Girlfriend: its no different than the way you were just treating me
Girlfriend: i was doing it because i couldnt get your attention
Girlfriend: you were acting like i was some idiot
reppa207: im sorry that i told you how you felt, that's wrong of me to tell someone how they feel.. i shouldnt do that, but you have to know that the words you're saying dont really match up with what you were saying about you feel
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: youre doing it again
Girlfriend: you arent listening to what im saying
reppa207: well then how do youi want me to talk to you?
reppa207: what do you want from me?
Girlfriend: it was a reaction to you treating me like an idiot
Girlfriend: i couldnt get you to stop
Girlfriend: i was slamming on the keyboard and about to scream
Girlfriend: you wouldnt listen to me
Girlfriend: that doesnt mean i dont feel the way i say i feel
reppa207: look, the way i was talking to you was the way i was feeling, i couldnt help it and that's just how i talk.. also, i felt like you didnt understand what you were talking about, so i was expressing my point of view on the whole thing while trying to console you.
reppa207: maybe it's because 4 year olds bang on things and scream when they cant hear exactly what they hear :-(
reppa207: want to hear*
Girlfriend: wow. see. youre just not even listening to me once again.
Girlfriend: not because i couldnt hear what i want to hear
Girlfriend: thats not at all what i said
reppa207: ok, what do you want from me?
Girlfriend: thats what you assumed because you want to make me wrong
Girlfriend: shut up
Girlfriend: i was frustrated because you had like made up this little script and you were talking to me like i was some idiot and you werent listening at all to what i was saying
Girlfriend: you were just saying what you wanted to say regardless of what i was telling you
Girlfriend: you were ignoring me and feeding me bullshit
Girlfriend: you would scream too
reppa207: if you would of actually read what i was saying, you would of realized that i was saying something, and it completely related to what you were saying.
reppa207: try re-reading what i said
reppa207: and what you said
reppa207: then maybe it will make a little sense
Girlfriend: and then id react to it
Girlfriend: and you wouldnt listen
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: ive read and reread it all
Girlfriend: you dont know more than me stop acting like taht
reppa207: ok, ginny
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: tell me why you are acting like a huge dick today. honestly, thats the only word i can think of that describes what youre doing to me right now
reppa207: how would you feel if i was calling you a ****ing stupid asshole bitch cunt jerk?
Girlfriend: i didnt say that
reppa207: (not in one, if you're trying to be technical)
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: stop acting like it
Girlfriend: just quit it
reppa207: ok.
Girlfriend: think about why ive said what ive said
Girlfriend: that doesnt make it okay for me to talk to you like that
reppa207: huh?
Girlfriend: but if youre gonna be getting mad at me why dont you think about what you did to make me say that
reppa207: im not even mad at you..
reppa207: im hurt and confused
reppa207: if it doesnt make it ok for you to talk to me like that, then why do you do it.. ?
reppa207: did you feel like i was a dick, jerk, asshole, etc. when you first started going out with me? because you're totally contradicting what you're telling me.
Girlfriend: im apologizing, stupid
Girlfriend: omg
Girlfriend: okay
reppa207: well why are you calling me stupid?
Girlfriend: at the moment whn youre acting like a dick, jerk, asshole, etc. i feel like you are a dick, jerk, asshole, etc.
Girlfriend: but overall
reppa207: well cant you control that?
Girlfriend: i feel the same way about you as i did
reppa207: OH, ok.
Girlfriend: STOP ACTING LIKE ONE
Girlfriend: YOU CONTROL THAT ONE
reppa207: read everything ive said, there was not one thing i said that was hostile
reppa207: you're doing this
reppa207: do you wanna push me away like this?
Girlfriend: taylor
Girlfriend: are you listening to me
Girlfriend: are you at all
Girlfriend: you werent hostile but you were ignoring me and treating me like i was stupid
Girlfriend: so i got frustrated because you were being an asshole
Girlfriend: and i just felt like telling you what you were doing to me
Girlfriend: i dont care that you werent hostile
Girlfriend: you knew what you were doing
Girlfriend: and you made me feel a bit hostile
Girlfriend: you were telling me how i felt
Girlfriend: you were ignoring what i was saying to you
reppa207: you were telling me how i felt.
reppa207: why exactly are your feelings more important than mine?
reppa207: is it because im stupid?
Girlfriend: because
Girlfriend: yours werent feelings
Girlfriend: yours were bullshit you were saying to sound better than me and make me feel stupid
Girlfriend: i have to go now
reppa207: what would you say, if i told you that you didn't write me notes every day like you used to when we were in preschool?
reppa207: how would you react?
Girlfriend: okay
Girlfriend: you know what
Girlfriend: thats it
Girlfriend: you are missing every point i have made
Girlfriend: im sad not mad
reppa207: you haven't made a point.
Girlfriend: because you dont love me the way you used to
reppa207: i love you the same
Girlfriend: NO YOU HAVENT LISTENED
reppa207: i dont act the same.
Girlfriend: no you dont
Girlfriend: sdfl;k/z/p
Girlfriend: TYOU TOLD ME YOU DIDNT FEEL THE SAME
reppa207: you're telling me how i feel, why are you doing that now?
Girlfriend: YOU NEVER SAID YOU DIDNT ACT THE SAME
Girlfriend: YOU SAID YOURSELF YOU DIDNT FEEL THE SAME
Girlfriend: THATS WHY IM TELLING YOU, YOU TOLD ME
reppa207: feel != lovr
reppa207: love
Girlfriend: YOU SAID FEEL
reppa207: YOU SAID ASSHOLE
reppa207: i dont completely 100% feel the same way about you now.
Girlfriend: YOOOOOOUUUUUU SSSAAAAAIIIIIIIDDDDD YOOOOUUUUUU DDDIIIIIDDDDDNNNT FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME
Girlfriend: well
Girlfriend: that really, truely does make you an asshole
reppa207: oh, ok.
Girlfriend: are you just trying to stab a knife in my heart
Girlfriend: what the **** are you doing to me
Girlfriend: when you ****ing attack me like this
Girlfriend: and make me cry for no reason
Girlfriend: thats when i feel liek treating you like shit
Girlfriend: because you just made me want to kill myself
Girlfriend: bye taylor
Girlfriend: i might call you later
Girlfriend: i might now
Girlfriend: not*
Girlfriend: dont call me
reppa207: i like how im an asshole because of the way i feel.
reppa207: that's always nice to hear.
reppa207: just because i still love you the same, but some feelings about you have changed.
reppa207: ^because of the way you treat me sometimes.
reppa207: you did it to yourself.
Girlfriend: **** YOU TAYLOR GOOD LUCK FINDING SOMEONE WHO WILL LET YOU TREAT THEM THIS WAY
Girlfriend signed off at 11:59:20 PM.

[squirrley]

WTF? Another girlfriend going psycho. OMG man, this all started because you didnt put up something about her in your away message? DAMN! And this being after what almost 2 years of being together? Yea things change, but holy hell, your girlfriend went off the deep end here.

Sounds like there are other deeper issues going on here. Its obvious you were trying to be honest with her and she took that and ran with it. She's very immature for acting out the way she did. She's suppose to be in love with you and youre treating her like shit? You cant NOT be honest with her. You will were telling how you truly felt and she turned into her. Thats not right.

Honestly~I wouldnt want to deal with someone whose quite so EMOTIONAL and takes things to the exteme. Thats really sad she treated you that way, she also sounds at this point a manipulator. Is she is going to act like that NOW, my goodness what is she going to be like later on and further on down the relatiosnship? OVER AN AWAY MESSAGE!

Youre right, relationships do change, people grow, etc. If she thinks your relationship is going to stay at a certain level how are you suppose to grow? A relationship needs nurturing, and shes not giving that to you. Sounds like youre growing up and wanting more while shes holding you back.

Id let this one go, and or at least give this a break. And if she comes back crying to you, tell her you need a break for awhile to sort things out, TRY and discuss maturely, even though I dont think she will take that news very well, I would take a break for sure, its just something that you should consider a red flag. If you talk it out and figure things out together that would be great. Try and tell her from your side of how you feel and NOT dog her out. She wont be on the defense AS much. You have choices here, thats the beauty of it, stay or leave!

Goodluck to ya!

[rep]

Thanks for the advice squirrley. Turns out that she apologized the next night, and everything was fine. But I still don't like the fact that she has a 'tendancy' to do something like that. It's not right to just act out like that to someone you claim to love so much. Again, I'm confused..

[Cybog]

Eyes....bleeding....must....gouge them out....

Seriously...our future is in serious jeopardy when kids cant even talk on the phone, but will spend an eternity "talking" over the internet via chat. This is what breeds anti-social kids popping pills all the time claiming to have learning "disabilities" and shit.

Get off the stupid AIM or MSN and go for a walk to talk about your problems. Or pick up the damn phone. Wanna know why your girlfriend says some dumb shit like that? Becuase she can, and she doesnt see what your reaction is.

You cant express yourself completely with smiley faces and semi-colons. You wanna know what is up with your girlfriend? Walk over to her house and talk to her about what is going on. (And if you want my advice that would involve dumping her as well).

Relationships that evolve around communicating over instant messengers for the majority of it are headed straight for the shitter.

[squirrley]

Rep~Id keep my head above water here. Of course she's going to come back and kiss ass and then pretend like nothing has happened. BUT it will happen again. Dont allow her to get away with talking to you like that, its crappy, and not deserved. If her behavior continues to act as such, Id get the hell out!

BECAREFUL!

[rep]

Regarding Cyborb's reply - this is one of the rare occasions I ever talk to her on AIM. I'm usually out until 11:30 every night with her, considering I'm only 16. Don't make false assumptions about my personal life style and how I would be just from a simple 'AIM' conversation, you have no right to do that at all, sir. They're still words, and they still mean the same thing. I talk with her plenty in real life, about the same issue. Usually it results in one of us leaving eachother periodically. About you saying that I don't exactly express the right reaction, you're probably right, I tend to hold in a lot of true feelings I really shouldn't hold in. Even though you were a blunt ass about it, thanks for the advice, and you too squirrley. If it happens again like this, there's really no excuse for it at all.. even though there isn't truley a valid excuse for why it happened in the first place.