My Girlfriend Has No Dreams, Should I Dump Her?

[generalx]

We've been together for 3 yrs, she's the manager of a retail store, I myself am a Musician, Writer and Actor, Recently i got into Production and started Filming my own Productions etc, Currently working on a production company and also starting a band in 2010. I'm a bit overweight so i decided to join the GYM 1 year ago, and boy my body is transforming. OH AND I HAVE A REGULAR JOB THAT PAYS MY BILLS.

"MY GIRLFRIEND" She joined the Gym, Dropped it in a week, She generally goes when i tell her about it, she claimed she would love to learn the piano. "I bought her a piano" The piano been sitting there for almost 2 yrs, She plays it once a week or hire a teacher for 1 or 2 lessons when he have major fights about her lack of discipline, THEN SHE DROPS IT IN A WEEK. She focuses on nothing for more than a week.

She claims that her job consumes all of her energy and she does have the energy after working 8,9 to 10hrs a day, However she finds the time to sit down watch television, Surf the internet for music videos and movies, Go to her friends house and hang out and go to the mall with her friends and shop.

I LOVE HER TO DEATH BUT HATE BEING AROUND HER, BECAUSE I LOSE MY DRIVE. Whenever we have fights about her inability to "Discipline Herself to Do things" Her responses are always.

"QUOTE" Leave me alone, i am happy where i am in life, i don't need to live up to your expectations, I JUST WANT TO ENJOY THE LIFE, I JUST WANT TO LIVE LIFE"

Yet everyday she's talking about me becoming successful and us living that Celebrity Lifestyle Million Dollar dream house....

My girlfriend wants to get married and is a very very independent woman financially, she supports me in everything i do, Yet i cannot help but wonder why these things are bothering me.

My question is.

WHY IS THESE THINGS BOTHERING ME? IS THE PROBLEM ME OR HER? AND WHY DO I FEEL SEVERLY DEPRESSED AND DISGUSTED WHEN SHE'S AROUND ALTHOUGH I LOVER HER TO DEATH?

THANK YOU FOR READING..

[girl68]

Most people who claim they love a person to death usually don't say: "I HATE BEING AROUND HER, SHE'S DISGUSTING".

Therefore, I don't believe that you love her in the slightest.

[Creativejeanius]

Sounds like you two are going down different paths. Maybe you were once really good for each there bur people are change. You sound like you have changed a lot but she is still stuck where she was when you met her. I think you are seeing this but it is hard for you to acknowledge it since you are still attached and have feelings for her.

[Sonrisa]

stuck, jeanius? which part of "is a very very independent woman financially, she supports me in everything i do" you did not understand? she sounds like a real catch.

[Sonrisa]

oh yeah, and live the girl alone. she deserves someone better.

[damn2008]

Honestly, what is wrong with a partner feeling that your other can be so much more?

I find it somewhat unattractive in women when they have shown that they have strived for NOTHING in their life. They didn't pursue college, they drop out of school or barely finished it, they spend all of daddy's and mommy's money. I've seen it and it's ridiculous and the hot ones are typical gold-diggers. They go out and live their life and do whatever and before they know it they're clawing for a man who will let them live that life in their 30's and beyond.

[Sonrisa]

first of all if she was anything like him: "Musician, Writer and Actor, Recently i got into Production and started Filming my own Productions etc, Currently working on a production company and also starting a band in 2010", she wouldn't be herself anymore, she'd most likely be a waitress, my guess he is one as well. she is happy with what she has offer.

[vashti]

Wow, generalX, you sound very controlling. If she isn't asking you to support her, then what's your issue?

Oh, and BTW - it isn't her job to keep you motivated. Quit trying to blame someone for your own shortcomings.

[lilly1185]

Hold on, in case no one had brought this up. She's the manager of A STORE?

Imagine, for a moment. Some crabby old lady trying to buy a piece of fruit with a coupon. She has to bite her tongue because the scenario is stupid, but in order to continue to receive business from her and her cronie friends, she HAS to be nice and find a billion work arounds.
Seriously, go to work with her just ONE day, and be her shadow. She has to climb up and down ladders, correct employee mistakes (stupid or otherwise), and please customers. It's EXHAUSTING.

Her inability to stick to anything? It's because her mind is probably wandering to work, and if a or b is being taken care of.
Srsly. ASK her about her day. Just once. And actually pay attention.
Then ask her about her day the next day.

Watching teevee and surfing the web is vegging out, probably because her brain is fried due to dealing with the mass amount of stupidity.
I don't blame her- get a grip.

Edit; Also, if she's been supporting you in any way financially and you're suddenly coping this attitude, you are a T-O-O-L. It takes some MAJOR self discipline to stay on top of a freakin' store and your underlings.
Sounds to me like you're getting the "My shit don't stink cause I'm gonna be big Hollywood" attitude.

[Sanctuary]

WHY IS THESE THINGS BOTHERING ME? IS THE PROBLEM ME OR HER? AND WHY DO I FEEL SEVERLY DEPRESSED AND DISGUSTED WHEN SHE'S AROUND ALTHOUGH I LOVER HER TO DEATH?

Taking a stab in the dark here but - is it because you're not as attracted to her physically as you used to be?

[chump4u]

We've been together for 3 yrs, she's the manager of a retail store, I myself am a Musician, Writer and Actor...

.
So far, so good. We have two useful people here: a hard-working lady, who has managed to rise to an important and responsible job in business, and a guy who has talent and ambition in the Arts. So far, no problem. No couch-potatoes or derelict losers in sight.
.

She claims that her job consumes all of her energy and she does have the energy after working 8,9 to 10hrs a day, However she finds the time to sit down watch television, Surf the internet for music videos and movies, Go to her friends house and hang out and go to the mall with her friends and shop.

.
How is it contradictory that she has no energy, but can still do relaxing things? How much energy is she using when she kicks back to watch a dvd, or goes to the mall for a latte and some girl-chat with her friends?
.

Whenever we have fights about her inability to "Discipline Herself to Do things"

.
Her "inability to "Discipline Herself to Do things?" She disciplines herself to "do things." She has enough self-discipline to work "8, 9 to 10hrs a day," at a responsible (therefore stressful) job, and still come home to listen to you tell her how unambitious she is. That's a lot of discipline if you ask me, yet you accuse her of having none.

WHY IS THESE THINGS BOTHERING ME? IS THE PROBLEM ME OR HER?

.
The problem, my friend, is you-- more specifically, your seeming belief that "Dreams" only count as dreams if they involve something you're interested in-- that is, that her dreams have to be your dreams, or they don't count. Perhaps her "Dreams" are to have a successful career (doing well, so far), and a life-relationship with a loving, understanding, supportive partner. (How well is she doing on this, we suddenly wonder?)

Honestly, what is wrong with a partner feeling that your other can be so much more?

.
There is something wrong with a partner feeling that his other ought to be, or want, or believe only what that partner wants the other to be, want, or believe. That's your problem and your answer in one sentence.

[Sonrisa]

Taking a stab in the dark here but - is it because you're not as attracted to her physically as you used to be?

good point

[Sonrisa]

can i just mention that he didn't specify what kind of store she manages. I have a friend who manages Bloomingdales.

[QuanSai]

We've been together for 3 yrs, she's the manager of a retail store, I myself am a Musician, Writer and Actor, Recently i got into Production and started Filming my own Productions etc, Currently working on a production company and also starting a band in 2010. I'm a bit overweight so i decided to join the GYM 1 year ago, and boy my body is transforming. OH AND I HAVE A REGULAR JOB THAT PAYS MY BILLS.

"MY GIRLFRIEND" She joined the Gym, Dropped it in a week, She generally goes when i tell her about it, she claimed she would love to learn the piano. "I bought her a piano" The piano been sitting there for almost 2 yrs, She plays it once a week or hire a teacher for 1 or 2 lessons when he have major fights about her lack of discipline, THEN SHE DROPS IT IN A WEEK. She focuses on nothing for more than a week.

She claims that her job consumes all of her energy and she does have the energy after working 8,9 to 10hrs a day, However she finds the time to sit down watch television, Surf the internet for music videos and movies, Go to her friends house and hang out and go to the mall with her friends and shop.

I LOVE HER TO DEATH BUT HATE BEING AROUND HER, BECAUSE I LOSE MY DRIVE. Whenever we have fights about her inability to "Discipline Herself to Do things" Her responses are always.

"QUOTE" Leave me alone, i am happy where i am in life, i don't need to live up to your expectations, I JUST WANT TO ENJOY THE LIFE, I JUST WANT TO LIVE LIFE"

Yet everyday she's talking about me becoming successful and us living that Celebrity Lifestyle Million Dollar dream house....

My girlfriend wants to get married and is a very very independent woman financially, she supports me in everything i do, Yet i cannot help but wonder why these things are bothering me.

My question is.

WHY IS THESE THINGS BOTHERING ME? IS THE PROBLEM ME OR HER? AND WHY DO I FEEL SEVERLY DEPRESSED AND DISGUSTED WHEN SHE'S AROUND ALTHOUGH I LOVER HER TO DEATH?

THANK YOU FOR READING..

You sound pretty naive. I recommend you dump her and start judging people better. I'm sure this behavioral pattern of hers was apparent earlier into the relationship. I think you just disregarded it because she appealed to you so much.

I hope this helped.

[Graham Berkeley]

I would dump her and move on. No woman wants a guy who is just a bump on a log so why would a guy want a woman who is a bump on a log?