Please help :(

[lalala72]

Hello,

I went out with a guy when I was 16. We were together for almost 2 years...a lot happened in our relationship, he was pretty immature when we were together, did many things to make me jealous etc. and I ended up being very insecure. Before this happened we had the most amazing relationship, I truly loved him. When he finally pushed me too far, he knew it was over. He changed and became a nicer person, I stayed with him for a few weeks after an almighty argument but then we ended our relationship. I just couldn't forgive him or get over my jealousy and anger. I didn't talk to him for 2 years, he tried to get me back for a few months and would try to convince me of how amazing we are, but I pretended that we were nothing. I did the typical rebound relationship with somebody else and have had 2 long term boyfriends since. However, I've never felt anything near to what I felt for him with my other boyfriends. My mum is always telling me how she's never seen me as happy as I was with him. I started talking to him again earlier this year, and he said he still has feelings for me, that he never stopped loving me and that the girlfriends he's had since just haven't compared. He came to see me (he now lives 40mins away from me) and I was left pining for him when he went home. I haven't told him how I feel. Despite him saying he still has feelings, whenever I see him he tells me all about his sexual conquests with other girls and how beautiful he finds girls he knows etc. and I don't understand why. Ideally, I would love to give it another go with him as I know he is my true love. We're 5 years older than we were when we first got together and I would like to think it could work. But I don't understand his references to other partners? I don't know what to do, should I tell him I still love him? or leave it?

Thanks

[lhn]

With regards to the comments he makes about other women... its just a guess but I should imagine he doesn't want to leave himself completely exposed. He tells you he still has feelings for you but you haven't said the same back to him... yet.

I would say, if you both decide to give it another go then you should treat it as a whole new relationship. Don't regret your history but also make sure that things like security and jealousy are able to reset fully and that you don't fall into the same situation as before.

Go on some dates when you're ready. See if it feels right. Make sure that he has matured enough that you now see him as a man, not a boy anymore. Don't try to kick off where you left off. If you don't sleep with someone on the first date, do the same with him like you would any other person. Make him work for you and not just assume it's a given.

I would say for the time being, keep your feelings a little close to your chest. Its always a good move to be a tad cautious if trying again with an ex. I'm no messiah when it comes to this so perhaps some other people can give their experiences.

Goodluck