Why Do Women Like Jerks?

[NeoSeminole]

Only-virgins says:

"Mish! Your presence on your white horse is in demand now!"

[chump4u]

...self-confidence in women is alluring to men.

.
Who told you that? Whoever it was, their nose must have grown visibly as they spoke. Didn't that give their game away?

I suppose it may be true, though, if by "self-confidence" you mean a decent amount of self-respect, or a reasonable self-image, perhaps that is attractive.

But if you mean the kind of narcissistic selfishness and vicious arrogance that women usually present as "independence" or "self-confidence," then you're mistaken about its allure.

[IndiReloaded]

Some girls like 'project boyfriends'. Usually fails in the end, after the girl becomes screwed up, and wastes a good chunk of her life.

'Project' relationships are almost always an excuse to avoid dealing with one's own issues. You don't need to examine your own belly button lint if your [not] partner else has shit oozing out their ears.

[BoredGeorge]

B.c they have larger, and harder pensises..

what a silly question..

women like men that are attractive

that is all.

[Radiokopf]

women like men that are attractive

from her point of view.

and guys with a low self-esteem tend to call everyone who won't get lost in a girl as they would a jerk (perhaps because he don't treat her like she deserves).

[Charlie Boy II]

I like secure girls, because there's less drama, but confidence isn't that important. If a girl lacks confidence it can be cute.

[starbuck]

.
Who told you that? Whoever it was, their nose must have grown visibly as they spoke. Didn't that give their game away?

I suppose it may be true, though, if by "self-confidence" you mean a decent amount of self-respect, or a reasonable self-image, perhaps that is attractive.

But if you mean the kind of narcissistic selfishness and vicious arrogance that women usually present as "independence" or "self-confidence," then you're mistaken about its allure.

I'm only speaking from my own experience and from observing friends and my own social groups.

I have a friend who has extreme insecurity issues and totally lacks self-confidence. Sure, she can seem cute and does initially attract men. However once they get close enough to her and realize what a nest of psychological problems she has related to her self-worth, they don't back slowly away, they run.

Humility and a bit of self deprecation is charming. Completely lack of confidence? I dunno.

[Petit Papillon]

I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but a search didn't turn up anything.

So this is an age old question... it's practically a cliché... Why do women like jerks? Let me define a jerk:

• He blows off his girlfriend at the last minute to go hang out with friends, or hangs out with friends on typical "date nights".
• He talks to other girls at the bars when they go out, instead of talking to her.
• He doesn't call often, or doesn't return her calls/texts.
• He doesn't compliment her very often, and in fact may tear down her self-esteem.

I'm sure there are others, but those are the complaints I hear the most. Admittedly those personality traits seem to become less attractive as a woman gets older, and a relationship with that type of guy doesn't last long, even though the girl will likely start dating the very same type of guy after wards.

Having dated women with some of those personality traits, I know that they can keep me in an emotional whirlwind, which I confuse for being love, or a strong attraction. But there must be other reasons.

I`m a woman, I gave a chance to a jerk once , and now I can be sure I don`t like jerks

[Petit Papillon]

this guy sets his forum mood to "devilish" and he thinks he is hot shit lol.

ahahahahahahahah :d

[shheadz]

So here's what I've learned from your responses:

* My initial assessment was correct: Older women don't go for jerks. They date a couple when they're young, and learn from their mistakes. This is probably why in high school/college all the "attractive" girls are dating jerks, but years later those same guys are married to women with really low self-esteem, that let the man shit all over them. Those "women" never learned, never grew up, and never learned to love themselves, so they settle for any asshole that shows them the smallest amount of attention.

* Women like self confident men, which sometimes means the guy is a jerk, although in my experience real assholes are masking all kinds of insecurities. Young girls can't tell the difference between an asshole and a guy with self-esteem.

[shheadz]

I brought this up because I just ended a short relationship with a 21 year old girl (I'm 33) with self-esteem and emotional issues, and I treated her really well. Despite that, I feel like I lost her interest pretty early in the relationship. Yes, there could have been other reasons, but I'm confident the relationship would have lasted longer if I simply blew her off more, and gave her less attention.

She's dated a string of assholes before meeting me, and will no doubt go on to date some more. I guess that's the real rub here: I can understand girls with low self-esteem settling for jerks, but it seems they also seek them out.

Anyway, I learned my lesson. Stay away from the young girls, and stay away from women with self-esteem issues.

--

P.S. I'm no pussy or push over. I'm a former Marine, and I carry myself with a lot of self confidence, and a bit of an ego. I work with this girl, and at work I am the alpha-male (see the ego there?), and I show it. So I didn't lose her interest because I'm some kind of a nancy-boy. I just treated her really, really well, and apparently that didn't give her the challenge or emotional heart-ache she needed to be "happy".

[misombra]

she is too young for you anyway.

[qwertz]

So here's what I've learned from your responses:

* My initial assessment was correct: Older women don't go for jerks. They date a couple when they're young, and learn from their mistakes. This is probably why in high school/college all the "attractive" girls are dating jerks, but years later those same guys are married to women with really low self-esteem, that let the man shit all over them. Those "women" never learned, never grew up, and never learned to love themselves, so they settle for any asshole that shows them the smallest amount of attention.

* Women like self confident men, which sometimes means the guy is a jerk, although in my experience real assholes are masking all kinds of insecurities. Young girls can't tell the difference between an asshole and a guy with self-esteem.

Hmmmm. no. Im 22 and dont like jerks.

I brought this up because I just ended a short relationship with a 21 year old girl (I'm 33) with self-esteem and emotional issues, and I treated her really well. Despite that, I feel like I lost her interest pretty early in the relationship. Yes, there could have been other reasons, but I'm confident the relationship would have lasted longer if I simply blew her off more, and gave her less attention.

She's dated a string of assholes before meeting me, and will no doubt go on to date some more. I guess that's the real rub here: I can understand girls with low self-esteem settling for jerks, but it seems they also seek them out.

Anyway, I learned my lesson. Stay away from the young girls, and stay away from women with self-esteem issues.

--

P.S. I'm no pussy or push over. I'm a former Marine, and I carry myself with a lot of self confidence, and a bit of an ego. I work with this girl, and at work I am the alpha-male (see the ego there?), and I show it. So I didn't lose her interest because I'm some kind of a nancy-boy. I just treated her really, really well, and apparently that didn't give her the challenge or emotional heart-ache she needed to be "happy".

She wont not be with you cause your nice and not a jerk. Maybe your just both not compatible..maybe it has nothing to do with you being 'nice'

Id choose a nice guy over a jerk any day.

[Sanctuary]

The issue with this is that it is completely false. Acting like a macho ****ing man in a bar doesn't make you confident and in control.

You misunderstand my point. I never said acting like a macho ****ing man in a bar makes you confident. You just pulled that out of your ass. I said acting like a macho ****ing man is a potential side effect of being confident.

It only pulls the illusion of it. Women are to ****ing dumb to realize real confidence.

I disagree. I bet most women can tell whether a guy is confident by what he says and his body language.

Confidence CANNOT be faked. You either have it or you don't. If you don't have it, you can only pull that "illusion" off for so long. That's not confidence, that's called boldness.

[Gribble]

Wait. Boldness is a step up from confidence. A bold man is a man who approaches the woman every other guy thinks is out of his league. A bold man goes in for the kiss on the first date. He's courageous and daring.