Another one of my 'not sure' threads.

[2KXJ]

Recently feelings of my life being 'empty' have really been upsetting me. More than ever before. I'm almost 23, and have been single/virgin for same amount of time. I avoided "sociality" at a young age, only to discover I would regret it like people said I would. The problem I'm having is that it's hard to start building when there's no foundation. I truly believe not having anyone that 'accepts' me keeps me from doing it myself.

Long story short it depresses me all f***ing day long that my life involves no friends, women or things to do. I can count my friends on one hand. I understand all the things that are wrong, but sometimes it feels like there are so many different issues that are both THERE, or COULD be there. If the depression wasn't enough the confusion doesn't help. Overthinking things and not being able to enjoy the little things are two things I need to look at.

I came to the realization long ago that no one can really help me but me. and I really want to. I just can't figure out how to help myself when im still completely lost. I know what I want in life and I know what's missing. Not being able to improve my own life, and having no one to help/turn to makes everything worse. I have one cousin who I tell everything, but his life is spiraling downwards now too for exact opposite reasons.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking, if anything, never asked for help like this before. I want everyday to be happy, and to have friends, but I'm not sure what's holding me back anymore, or even where to start. Depression is causing a cycle that I can't get out of, and don't want to be part of anymore. I've never thought that any of those "self esteem" or "self-motivational" guides, books etc were legit. It's to the point I'd be open to trying one of those if anyone has any decent suggestions. I want to get better but when people can only suggest things depression keeps you from, you can't win.

Again, any input is appreciated.

[2KXJ]

I cant help but feel that having a women in my life would obviously solve the big ones, and give me the motivation for the rest. I've never been a social person, ever, so just jumping into sports and charity events isn't something that would be easy for me. But obviously I know I cant just 'have' a woman in my life, as they're not given out. Seeing how easily others can make friends and meet people, just makes me think more and more about why would they need me than?

I'm no good at stepping out of my comfort zone, and even if I could, have no social skills. Even if I had social skills, I have no one to use them with.

I can't help but feel every road is a dead end. As soon as I start to feel a little better, all of this just creeps right back up on me. I spent last Saturday night sitting here trying to put my thoughts into words so I could post here for some help. This one now too. I don't want to do this anymore, but can't help myself and have no one that can help me.

[shheadz]

I was the same way at one point in my life. I moved to a different state, and blamo.. nothing. I'm a very introverted person, and spent years without any girlfriends, sex, or real friends. All I did was work, drink, and sit at home by myself at night.

When I was 24 I did something very drastic to fix my problem, and it worked. I'm not fully recommending you do this, cause it's a real life changer, and dangerous, but it worked for me. I joined the freakin' Marine Corps.

I gave myself a lot of excuses to do it.. wanting to do something important before I died, honor to my country, bla bla bla. The truth is, my life was in a total rut like yours, and I knew I needed to do something drastic. Really drastic. Not start a hobby, not change a job, not join a charity club.. I needed something DRASTIC!

In four years I had more friends than I thought was possible. Good friends! The service isn't full of muscle bound idiots.. there were a lot of dorks like myself, and they were good friends. I had more fun than I thought was possible, and in lots of different countries too. Hell, I had more sex than I thought was possible!

My depression eventually disappeared because you don't get much sympathy from drill instructors and platoon sergeants. You learn to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time, because honestly no one cares. Additionally it's hard to get withdrawn and depressed when you're around other guys 24/7.

It's not without it's dangers. I spent 6 months in Iraq, and our battalion lost 50 good Marines and Sailors. It was a really bad time, but it was also in some weird way a positive growing experience for me. You could always try something a little safer like The Navy, or Air Force (or don't go infantry like I did), but it changed my life, and as hard as it was, I would do it all over again if I had to.