To text, or not to text?

[NorthernGuy]

I've been out with a woman a couple of times now, and we mostly communicate through text, IM, and email. Things seem to be going very well.

We last went out on Monday, and texted both ways a couple of times that night. She said she had a nice time. On Tuesday, I texted in the morning, then again late afternoon. No reply, but I know she's got a busy week, and was in work late that day.

But, we did manage to have a 30-45 min chat online that night (started by me). She asked if I'd be online later as she needed to shower, etc. Also said she was tired, so there was a chance she might not make it back. She didn't, which is fine by me.

I sent a short email, saying I hoped the next day would be a fun one for her, and that I'd be in touch later in the week. I also said for her to get back to me when she knew her free days next week, and we'd fix a date up.

Then yesterday, we were both working long hours - she wasn't due home until midnight. So, because of that, and the fact I'd texted twice the day before and didn't get a reply (although we did IM), I thought it best to give her some space. I didn't text . . . and neither did she.

So, that brings us to today (Thursday). I miss having regular contact with her, but don't want to overbearing. I just want to keep things moving, be polite, and make sure she knows I'm interested.

Do I text again, without waiting to hear from her? If so, what do you think would be a good message to send?

Any help would be appreciated.

[lostwithyou]

I wouldn't text her. I would just wait until she text you back. If you're on IM, just make yourself available but don't send her an IM messages.

by now she should know that you like her and thats why you've been texting back and forth. She might be busy with stuff so don't be that clinging person. Take it slow and let it come to you but force it because it will never last.

Good luck to you.

[NorthernGuy]

I wouldn't text her. I would just wait until she text you back. If you're on IM, just make yourself available but don't send her an IM messages.

by now she should know that you like her and thats why you've been texting back and forth. She might be busy with stuff so don't be that clinging person. Take it slow and let it come to you but force it because it will never last.

Good luck to you.

Thanks very much. This is pretty much what I was assuming. Any women have an alternate view? Or is this what you think?

I like her a lot, and don't want to lose her - especially at this early stage. But when women start being less responsive, I fear the worst.

[starbuck]

I think that going forward you should take yourself out of the texting realm since texts (and/or lack of them) can be highly misinterpreted.

Can you call her instead? Calling is much more direct.

[Gigabitch]

I agree. Give her a call. Don't let days go by without contact- it sends a negative message.

[NorthernGuy]

Well, I've tried to call her on three occasions, but never got an answer - always a text later explaining where she was, and why she couldn't answer.

But, she lives with her parents, so I'm wondering if that has something to do with it, i.e. lack of privacy.

I decided earlier that I'd send her a text. That was six hours ago, and no reply yet. Maybe I've just misjudged this one.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Hey NG,
I would find myself in your shoes a lot. But right about now, I think a interesting txt msg topic would be if she would like to hang out with again or something like a movie.
I just hope she is not playing the trolling game. Ask her out again and see if she replies.
The more she says no or doesn't answer, its a big turn off and instead of getting hurt you just loose interest.

[NorthernGuy]

Ok, didn't get a reply to the text, but I just IM'd her. Managed 30 mins before she said her mom was calling her to switch off the heating, so she'd have to log off - but maybe we'd chat another night?

I was pretty direct, and asked 'when'. 'Possibly tomorrow', she said. I quickly asked her when she'd be free to go out again, and she said her work schedule would be announced on Saturday.

I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm beginning to think I've lost this one

[Nice Lover Boy]

What is a ROTA?
Did she sound thrilled about the fact that you asked her when you guys can hang?

[lovesjoyajm]

Northerner probably couldn't determine her degree of thrilledness. They were IMing.

[standadeeno]

Ignore her and let her come chasing you. I know it's hard, but you need to let her chase you a bit. I learned the hard way by being way to nice and up-front with my feelings. Give it a few days and see if she comes after you.
She will text you.

[NorthernGuy]

Give it a few days and see if she comes after you. She will text you.

. . . and she did - about an hour ago. Thanks. Only mistake I made was being the last one to send a message, but I'm not going to worry about that.

Said she'd get back to me, with her free nights as soon as she knows them (I didn't ask). Things are looking up. Just going to wait now, and let her contact me when she's ready.

[mountainhopper]

You are over-thinking this way to much, just get on with your life and let other more enjoyable things preoccupy your time.

Have you ever heard the solitaire analogy for relationships? It goes something like this; you can take as much time as you need and think every move through perfectly, never missing a card, but no matter how much effort you put into the game, sometimes you cant complete the deck.

[NorthernGuy]

Thanks. That's exactly what I have done. I left things for just over a day, and she texted. I'm now going to leave it again, until she gets in touch with me whether it's a day, two days, or more. I've detached from the need to get any particular result.