My long distance ex

[brokenme]

I'm not really looking for help, because I don't think there's anything I could possibly do to make myself feel better. I just need a place to share my feelings.

About a month ago, I split up with my girlfriend. We were in a long distance relationship and it was hard, so we split up. Although we agreed if circumstances were ever better we might get back together. Which I think was at first what made it so hard to move on. Because with her, I found out the true meaning of love, I loved her so much. And as far as I knew she loved me as well.
So I was just starting to move on, four weeks (now) after we split, and I was starting to get everything back to normal and start feeling good again, well near enough anyway. Then about 20 minutes ago, after not really speaking since we split up, she comes online and tells me she's got a new boyfriend and she's been seeing him for 2 weeks. A friend that's she's known for a while. I acted cool, and said I'm really happy for them both, and all that crap.
In reality, I haven't stopped crying since.

And I don't know, when we were splitting up and agreeing that if circumstances were ever better we might get back together, she was pretty adamant for it to be okay to see other people. So maybe she had started seeing him, or had him in mind before we split.
She cheated on me a couple of days after we first started seeing each other. Although that seems completely out of character, so I forgave her for that. But now I don't know. I just feel sick.

[lahnnabell]

Whenever a couple splits due to difficult circumstances (i.e. distance), there is no guarantee that because the feelings are still there that the possibility for a relationship will be. People change and they do so at different paces. However, given the fact that it was only 2 weeks after you two broke up that she had a new boyfriend, it sounds like she had at least known him while you two were together.

I say keep going in the same direction - away from this girl. She sounds as though she doesn't know what she wants and may be willing to hop from guy to guy until she figures out that she probably needs to work on herself.

There will be other girls. Save your time for someone who respects you and can be honest (and not cheat a mere few days into a relationship). Good luck!

[sookie6]

Some people move on quicker than others. It does not mean she never loved you...just that she can't cope with being single. My ex-boyfriend was like that. After we split up he was very restless. He always had someone ever since he was 16. He could not cope with being alone!!

Whereas I really need to be with someone special to enjoy a relationship. Which means long period of being single. I am not sure which way is best as in a way these people are right looking into the future.

Please do not dwell on the past. This is over. Even if she came back you would never forget her for jumping into the next relationship and so quickly!!
There are beautiful things waiting for you if you allow for them to happen. Do not become bitter!

[Cbrider]

Then about 20 minutes ago, after not really speaking since we split up, she comes online and tells me she's got a new boyfriend and she's been seeing him for 2 weeks. A friend that's she's known for a while. I acted cool, and said I'm really happy for them both, and all that crap.
In reality, I haven't stopped crying since.

Wow, I am sorry, but someone needs to tell you - this girl is a bitch.

She said this for one reason and one reason only, to get at you. This was not done as a friendly conversation topic. Sure, if she mentioned she was seeing someone because YOU asked, that's one thing, but to throw it out there and go into a little bit of detail is just a cruel gesture.

Turn and walk away from her, she's not the company you need in your life.

This new guy has been around longer than she is telling you. There were things going on prior to the breakup. I don't say that to hurt you, but trust me, the truth is better in the end with these type of things.

[brokenme]

Thanks guys. It's good to get some perspective.
But yeah, you're right, she really isn't what I need. She told me on facebook chat as well. This is how she put it to me:

"i have a boyfriend"

"you do?"

"yep"

"oh cool"

"yeah
idk, i thought i'd tell you rathre than facebook"

"it's alright
who is he?"

"he was a friend
i've known him for a while and always wanted to get to know him better and yeah, it just happened"

But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense that she had something going on with him before we split. Like she really wanted to make sure it was okay for us to see other people. And, even though it was me that ended it, because she would just say how unhappy she was with the distance and not being able to see me all the time, as soon as it was over, she said she felt much better. And just acted as if it never happened.

I've spent the last four weeks wondering if she still loves me, and then I get this. It's just hard to handle I guess. I need to get over her. Because at the moment I just have the feeling that I'll never love someone as much as I loved her, ever again, which I know isn't true. But I don't even find anyone else attractive at the moment. Like everyone I meet I just compare to her, and if it's not her, not only am I not attracted to them, I'm almost repulsed by them. And it's not healthy, or fair.

But I think realising she was unfair to me, and I didn't deserve what she did to me, helps. Like it helps me to think that there are much better people out there for me.

Again, thanks for the response.

[lahnnabell]

Good for you! Good luck!

[James1388]

She does not like you as much as you like her. That is so hard to hear, I know but its true. Be strong and stay on course. You might find the girl of your dreams tomorrow. You never know.

[sookie6]

Try to see a movie called 500 days of summer. It helped me understand a few things about falling in love, breaking up, moving on....please do watch it it is not your usual chick flick...

[brokenme]

Yeah, it's one of my favourite films. Although, I just broke up with her when I watched it, and it just seemed to depress me more, haha. Which is not the message I should have got from it, I know. But yeah, it's a really good film.