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Thread: Should I tell him that he is dating a dangerous person?

  1. #1
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    Should I tell him that he is dating a dangerous person?

    Hello - my question is - a guy I know is dating this girl I know, in the span of four years I happened to meet (and be friends with) four guys who were hurt by this girl, and know about a couple of others. She has this huge problem with commitment and usually breaks up with people out of the blue after playing with their feelings for some time, leaving them crushed.

    I have to say I have nothing against this girl, we barely know each other, and in general I really don't mix with other people's businesses. Also I have no interest for the guy, who is just an acquaintance. I feel really guilty because the previous victim this year was a friend of mine, and I didn't warn him because I thought "poor girl, everybody deserves a second chance, who am I to judge and to butt in?" and then he also was left to pieces.
    So, if you agree I should at least introduce some doubt about this girl, what could I say that could be effective?

    The only interest I have in this is that I was also deeply hurt by some guy with borderline commitment issues, and if somebody had warned me things perhaps would have been different.

    So what should I do? As a guy, would you be interested in knowing if your sweetheart is a walking mine? What would be the less hurtful way to suggest it?
    Last edited by BillyJean; 07-12-09 at 02:14 AM. Reason: mistake

  2. #2
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    This is hard. Because you might look like you are interested in him and he might take it as you don't want him to talk to her. But you should tell him because I would have loved to know something like that before if I was in his boat. Make sure you explain that you have no interest in him and are just telling him something that may be valuable knowledge.

  3. #3
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    If you barely know her, how can you know she has borderline commitment issues?

    I smell BS here. Your motives are not what you say.

    Generally, tho, the rule is MYOB.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Ya, this reminds of the thread where the girl was 'warning' all of her ex's new female friends on Facebook that he would use them if they weren't careful

  5. #5
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    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    Everyone risks heart ache in the dating world. People meet, they date, and most of the time, they break up. This is NORMAL. She was never obligated to continue dating anyone she didn't wish to.

    Mind your own business.

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    No, leave it alone.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  7. #7
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    He won't believe you anyway if he's into her.
    Since my last break-up I've had two people who knew my Ex. NOW come up to me telling me she was married three times by 24 years old. She's now 35 and she's been married four times(three kids), and at least 4 series relationships that I found out about and taken each one for something, collects either alimony or CS from each one and took me for a ride also. One of her Ex.s even sent me a 20 page letter with lots of laughs in it. Sucks she was good.
    I probably wouldn't have listened with out some kind of proof.

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    Maybe she's been going through all these guys just waiting for your friend. Maybe he's The One.
    Spammer Spanker

  9. #9
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    Everyone is different. You will just stir up drama for someone else's relationship, if you tell them guy the girl might break your hurt he will either ignore it & deny it, or he will become distent, and then you are ruining the girls chance of finally having someone she might be capable of opening up to. Don't ruin it just be quite, it's not your business. It's like if something happens they will experience it for themselves. You can't save everyone from being hurt.

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