Liking another guy when in a relationship

[azra]

I'm in a relationship now and I have started to become attracted to another guy, and it seems that this other guy might like me too. I always see him at the gym and we always have a lot to talk about etc.
So getting to the point, I have two questions: 1 - I know that if I want to make sure nothing happens with this other guy, I should try not to spend much time with him. But how do I cool things down without seeming like I'm just being rude? Is it a good idea to say - "hey, I like you but I'm in a relationship so I don't think we should hang out" - or would that make him go after me harder because he knows I like him?
2 - This isn't the first time I've liked someone else while in this relationship - but I really do love my bf, I just get attracted to other people. Is this OK? Or does it mean that perhaps my bf is not the right guy and I should just move on?

[flea]

just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu...


having said that, if you "really love" your bf, you need to focus your attentions on him, NOT some gym guy. don't flirt or play-up to this new beau at all, keep it friendly sure, but make sure he knows there's a clear line that's not to be crossed. this could be a physical infatuation, but if you want to stay with your man.....quash it now.

[JEBUSMADMAN]

Everyone gets attracted and head over heels with someone else. If you love your guy then stay with him, just don't be flirting with other guys.

[Gigabitch]

Flea is right- you have to make a conscious effort to support your relationship with your bf if you want it to work. Start going to the gym at another time of day.

[-+Lost+-]

Dont let it get out of hand, be friends with him if you think you can keep it as just friends..believe me when more than friends happens its messes everything up! Its really not worth it.
If i was you i'd just kind of slowly cool things off but not say anything, if you say something you might never go to the gym again lol! If its only at the gym that you see him then are there days or times that you know he definatly wont be there? Ooor failing that just act not interested and maybe he'll get the hint that your a taken women if things start to get too close for comfort?

[Rosinha]

Don't worry, that happens all the time and it does not mean you don't love your boyfriend. You will get tired of flirting with that guy any time soon anyway, so don't let it get out of hand.

[azra]

ok thanks guys, I know what to do now.

[valhensing]

any advices if the guy is your co worker and you would need to spend sometime alone with the guy?

[kms]

Physical attraction is biological and can't be controlled. It doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or not, it'll still happen from time to time. The key is to simply understand what it is (a chemical process), and nothing more - and then to not act on it.

[valhensing]

Physical attraction is biological and can't be controlled. It doesn't matter whether you're in a relationship or not, it'll still happen from time to time. The key is to simply understand what it is (a chemical process), and nothing more - and then to not act on it.

i understand this, i just want to know if there is something else i could do to make it go faster/easier.

And i work with him for godsake!

[TheWizard]

i understand this, i just want to know if there is something else i could do to make it go faster/easier.

And i work with him for godsake!

You wish it was that easy! I'm in a similar scenario at the moment actually, only I'm the guy in this scenario. I'm seeing other women so it's not terrible and so should your gym guy. My advice from a guy standpoint would be to be up front about nothing happening because you love your man, otherwise the guy will be allowed to freely speculate - if the girl I was in this situation with would put it in such words to me it would dispel my illusion pretty quickly and we could continue to be good friends.

The possibility of a future relationship will always be there if you guys have that spark anyway, and as another poster already mentioned attraction is biological you can't help it. If for some reason you think you could cheat on your boyfriend with one of these scenarios then it's time to look at your current relationship because you're probably not satisfied with something and need to communicate with your BF to find out what it is perhaps.

Good luck! I'd appreciate your input on my situation as well