My 24 y/o bf just broke up with me (27/f) this past Friday. We had been together for 7 months and really hit it off in the beginning. I know that the honeymoon phase is common in all relationships, but this one seemed to move faster and be deeper than any I've experienced. In retrospect, he also acknowledged that he moved faster with me than he had with anyone before. We clicked really well, and within only a couple months of knowing me, he wanted me to meet his parents and also move in with him because "it just made sense." He was smitten and I was as well, he said things like "I really really like you," sent me flirty texts all the time, and always initiated interactions with me- asking me over, etc. I've never been with someone who made me feel so wanted and needed. For the first time in (ever?) I didn't have to worry about appearing needy because he was so into me that I didn't really have to do anything.

His boss stopped paying him a few months into our relationship, (he works for a new company). Obviously, this took a toll on the relationship, as I understood it would. He always reminded me, "please don't take this personally," but it was hard not to. I know his world was spinning out of control and I accepted that he only texted me maybe 3 times a week to give me "updates" on his job and that I only saw him a day a week or so. He was (understandably) depressed, as a new college grad who had moved to NC for this job, away from friends and family. He started to apply for new jobs, of course, especially ones in MN, which is where he spent most of his life. Throughout these trying months, I was careful not to bother him- he didn't really want to talk much and I didn't want to add/create more undue stress. I wanted to hang in with him until the ordeal was over because I felt like it was worth it. Also, there were instances that gave me hope, such as when he asked me if I would move to MN with him. At that time, I didn't have a clear answer because I didn't know how he really felt about things (our communication was pretty shoddy). He told me that he came from a Norwegian upbringing, where he was taught to keep things to himself, not "burden" others with his problems, etc. He is not the kind to open up about problems, and I am a touchy-feely heart-on-my-sleeve kind of girl, so this took some getting used to, but I hung in there with him.

Finally, his boss paid him. We saw each other about 3 times after that...had some good times, made a mini-Thanksgiving dinner, etc. However, he could tell that I was feeling tense and I explained to him that I needed to know how he felt. I had said "I love you" before, but he never said it back. I asked him why, he said he had been too distracted by work, and that he wasn't sure but he thought he did. He also said that he couldn't "flip a switch" and that I needed to be patient and wait for things to get back up to the way they were. When I asked, he said that he did think things would return to that level. This gave me a lot of hope, I knew I needed to be patient (although I was so tired of being patient/walking on eggshells for the past few months). At this point, I just needed a little reassurance about how he felt...it was hard to differentiate between his stressful work situation and his feelings for me. I also realized that he could only function at a certain level and really couldn't be a "boyfriend" during this time. Not many people could, I mean not getting paid has to be one of the most stressful situations out there. Needless to say, I was ready for my patience to pay off and ready for us to concentrate on each other.

He had an interview on Monday in MN. Sunday night, before he left, we talked on the phone. I was a teary and explained to him that I was falling apart...that I didn't feel like he wanted or could handle a relationship with me. He was surprisingly sweet, and said that he didn't want us to talk about this on the phone and say something we'd regret...that he really liked me. I asked him to promise that we could see each other Friday, and he said yes, that we did need to "clear the air." He was optimistic and It made me feel wonderful, because normally he doesn't handle conflict well...especially lately. Thursday night I texted him saying that I didn't want to see him unless he seriously wanted to talk. I wanted him to know that this was serious, that it's time for us to really concentrate on us and make this work.

Friday night I came over after having not seen him for a week and a half. He immediately said "Let's talk," and motioned toward the couch. I sat down and decided, for once, to let him begin the conversation since I'm always the one who starts them. I wanted to hear what he had to say first. He broke up with me, saying that he knew he was going back to MN, that even if he didn't get this job he would go there for another job, and that he would do this asap. He admitted that he didn't handle his job situation maturely (kudos to the guy for having the balls to say that), and that he didn't know if he'd react better, given another stressful situation down the line. He didn't think we were "strong enough" to handle taking this step together (even though earlier, he had asked me several times if I would go with him). He indicated that he hadn't really thought about it until lately, and that he would feel bad uprooting me from NC to go with him. I was so shocked that I couldn't even respond. I thought this was a reconciliation. I thought we were going to make a plan together to nurture our relationship. I was looking forward to spending a nice evening with him. I asked him when he decided this, he said an hour before I came over. He took his key and I cried a lot, which stressed him out and made him mad...then he basically had to kick me out.

I don't understand why he doesn't think we're strong enough, I thought I proved to him that we were by my hanging in there with him through thick and (especially) thin. I have not been a nag, I haven't asked him to spend any time with him, I've only been there for him anytime he asked. I feel like I've done nothing wrong.

This was a time when we should be celebrating, and I feel like I waited out the storm just to get dumped.

I don't want to lose him, I really feel like he's the one. Friday night, when he was dumping me, he asked me what kind of future I saw with him. At the time, I had no idea what that meant- at that point what did it matter? I said that I didn't think I'd want to move every 6 months for two years, which is what his job would entail. (I'm hoping to go back to school soon and moving that often would make it very difficult). Then he told me that the job he was offered was stationary, and he was surprised that I didn't know- he thought he had told me that. Well, that was one of the big reasons why I was unsure of moving with him to MN to begin with, because that lifestyle wouldn't have been beneficial for me. Now that he got offered a different job that wouldn't require moving, that changes things drastically. I would be more likely to go. The other reason why I was hesitant was because I was unsure of his feelings. I didn't want to move unless I knew that he was semi-serious about me (not asking for an engagement or anything). It's just hard to tell how a person feels about you when they ask you to move with them, but they haven't been communicating well for the course of 2+ months. Also, as a sidenote, I never pushed him to take this relationship to the next level- never mentioned anything about commitments, etc. He was always the one to initiate the idea of us moving together.

Anyway, after we broke up, I had the weekend to think about things. It seems that the reasons he did it were 1) he knew he would move to MN 2) he didn't think I'd want to come 3) he didn't think we were "strong enough" to take that step. I decided that I would like to take the plunge and move with him. I wrote him a note, explaining that I was sick of NC and ready for a change (which I am). If he gets the job, he'll move at the beginning of January, although his lease runs until February. Coincidentally, my lease runs out at the end of December. My plan was that I could move into his place at the beginning of January and pay that month's rent, giving him time to settle in MN and also saving him that month's money. I, in turn, wouldn't be stressed about finding a place to live right after Christmas. Then, we would see how things went, maybe I could come visit him. By the time February rolls around, we'd have an idea about whether or not this would work. If it seemed good, I could move to MN in February and get my own apartment close to his. (That way, we could have our own space). I'd sign up for a 3 or 6 month lease, and just see what happens. I'd get a job as a waitress or NA until the summer month when I could start school (if I stayed that that long). I'm actually really excited about this idea- I want to make new friends and have new experiences (I don't want to be dependent on him for entertainment). I've been in NC my whole life- pretty depressed here, with a shitty job that I could get anywhere, no family here, and friends that have moved away- and I'm ready to do something different. This would give me an opportunity to see how things would play out between us, instead of letting circumstances dictate our relationship.

He hasn't responded to the note, at the end of it I asked him to call me when he finished. I gave him the note Sunday afternoon. His phone is turned off. I'm not sure how to take this. I would think that if he really wanted me to leave him alone, he'd call or text me, telling me to stop. Hopefully, he's thinking about this.

Was this too bold? I know there's a fine line between desperation and just being steadfast in going after what you want. I really want this; I think it would be beneficial for me, and not just because I'd get to be with him. Also, this is an ideal time for me to do this because I'm not tied down to anything.

He should know by Tuesday if he got the job. When we broke up, he said "This isn't the last time we'll see each other," meaning, I guess, that he thinks we'll go out and spend some time together before he leaves in January, (and that he does want to see me again). I hope that he'll want to see me on Tuesday, that he'll be open to exploring this idea, and that we can just spend time together and see where this could go.

Any objective opinions?