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Thread: Cheating "Friend"?

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    Cheating "Friend"?

    I've been having a relationship with a girl for over a year now, and have been friends for about 2 years. We ended up hooking up one night, and have done so many times since. We spend a lot of time together now, and I am always trying to find something new and fun for us to do together. Her and I have had many deep conversations, and along the way I started developing feelings for her. We always have a good time together and have never had a fight or serious argument. She even introduced me to her parents. So, about 6 weeks ago (Halloween night) we were hanging out, and my phone died. She was getting texts all night, but I didn't think much of it. I was carrying her phone because we were attempting to meet up with some of my friends, and while she was in the bathroom her phone received a text message stating "I love you " from a guy that I have never heard of! I was completely shocked, but decided to not say anything yet because I was unsure if it was from a drunk ex-boyfriend, etc. After this, I started feeling on edge when I would be with her, and it started to eat away at me. We continued seeing each other since then, and then 3 weeks ago she randomly said that she wanted to take me out (this was new) and then we ended up getting a hotel room (that she paid for). Two days later, she texts me and says that she does not think that we should have sex anymore because she doesn't want to get any more emotionally attached to me than she already is, and that she wants to stay friends. I was so confused. I didn't know if this was her way of protecting herself from getting hurt because I didn't make it clear that I liked her, or because the guy that I thought might be a random guy was actually not so random after all. I gave her a little space, and then started texting her again because I decided that I wanted to make her my girlfriend, and that if I told her that then maybe she would feel ok about becoming attached. The texting did not get far, and then my friend said that he saw her out with a guy at the bar, and that they were near eachother all night. This girl and I have since been texting back and forth, and I explained to her that I do miss her. She said that she missed hanging out with me, and that she did not mean for us to stop talking. The next day she randomly texted me to let me know that she think s I am attractive to her, and we have made plans to hang out this weekend. We have been texting back and forth as though nothing has changed. I am trying to accept the fact that she might have been seeing someone due to the fact that we did not have a label, but I also feel hurt because I thought that we had a genuine connection. My male friends tell me to kick her to the curb, but I want to give her a chance to make things right between us because I do like her. Should I confront this girl about the text and what my friend saw? Should I give her a chance to come clean on her own, by asking her if there is anything that she wants to tell me? Should I stop talking to her completely? I would like a female's insight into this matter!

  2. #2
    kms's Avatar
    kms is offline Registered User
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    Just tell her how you feel, and stop tormenting yourself and playing games. When you see her next just sit her down and explain that you have feelings for her and you wanted to be honest about it so that there's no more confusion. If she reciprocates, great, if not, then at least you'll know and you can move on.

  3. #3
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    Good advice. I told her how I felt, talked to her about the things that were bothering me, and things worked out. From now on I will be more direct with women. Thanks again.

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    So, did you figure out what that whole "I love you" deal was about?

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