Am I using my time the way it should be?

[fullorange]

Hello!

I just got over a relationship in late september. It was about a year long and she ended up cheating on me with some German tourist. Anyways, it has been easy for me to get over, because I have justification. I know it would never work out and never get back to the way things were. Plus I have distinct images of what happened in the back of that car in some downtown parking lot. Haha!

Anyways, some people say I might not be over it. I feel like I am, I mean, he way I think about it is I am treating it the way I would if anyone disrespects me. Nothing would make me go back to her, so how could I be that upset about it? From reading this so far, would you say I am over it? I know it's not that much info or insight, but it should've given you some sort of vibe. Let me know...

I have another question. I met a girl via internet, she started talking to me first. I gave her a call and it turned out she went to the same college I go to. We have seen each other twice since then, both at school. One was a planned meet, the other was me just telling her where I was and she showed up. I think she is very nice, cute, and easy to get along with. She seems a slight bit awkward, and she admits it.. I always feel like I said something wrong when we end up parting, like I rush it and say something along the lines of, "okbye." Which might irk her a little bit? Sending the wrong message? So she kind of backed off a little bit. She said the one thing that she dislikes the most in a person is the tendency to be clingy. I am rather confused. Conversations seem a little bit shorter than usual lately..

But, I`m starting to think, maybe it is finals? That is a rather time consuming thing to deal with so it might be a little difficult to balance the time. I am interested in her but I am making a sure effort to not rush myself into anything. That is the last thing I want. I`ve had this urge to ask her to go to the movies with me but I feel it is too soon. Do you think she is interested? Does she want me to me more direct? Is she preoccupied with something else? if you had to make an educated guess, what would it be?

The way I see it (and hope it) is she is interested in me, she contacted me first, and actually went out of her way to see me again. Am I over thinking it? What would you say? I don't want to mess up this situation.

-Thank you!!

[TheWizard]

movies are a bad idea - take her for a walk or to a coffee shop where a cup of coffee is cheap and you can spend time chatting with her and finding out more about each other. The movies you get like 20 minutes before the movie to talk, then you have to be silent for two hours, then you say goodbye for 20 min. Much better to take her out for a good time at some place where you have to interact with each other, the focus is on showing her a good time - it doesn't have to cost money or be anything cliche.

Sounds like she's digging you, next time you see her I would ask her if she wants to go grab a cup of conversation. A girl that wants to spend time with you will find a way to make it happen - all the time. If she can't she will tell you when she IS available pretty much on the spot.

Again, I think the signs are there, but only you know for sure. There are more signs to look out for. Have any others she does? Big smile? Touches you in any way? Hair flicking or all the other things you can google for in terms of body language cues. Don't focus on them, but most of them are useful to be aware of and take in context.

A note on clingy - this is easy to avoid. Don't text her all the time, don't call her all the time - live your life without chasing after her every second of the day and be able to do things on your own. That's clingy. If she doesn't respond to an email or text, let it go. As guys we tend to want immediate feedback on things we say do or ask, but whatever you do DON'T give in to that temptation and message her or call her over and over again. Say it once, she'll get back to you on her own.

[fullorange]

Thank you for your quick response! I will definitely trash the movies idea. Conversation is definitely better. I have been doing my best to not email her/text her, maybe I could be doing a better job at that

She has a big smile, and I make her laugh a lot too. Which is always good, right? We have many of the same views regarding various subjects as well. Oh! And when I said I had to go somewhere she offered to walk me there!

Self-control.. Self-control.. Self-control.. Self-control.. Self-control..

Once again, thank you for your response! It gave me a nudge towards the right path.

[TheWizard]

no problem, sounds like she's digging you - practice that self control! Or you're going to push her away like you're worried about

[kms]

1. If you have to ask whether or not you're over the previous girl, then maybe you aren't. You know yourself best, so if you are, you would absolutely know that for sure.

2. Clingy - very possible. In your posts you ask a lot of questions (that you could really figure out yourself). So, if you do that all the time to people in real life, that would indicate to me that you aren't sure of yourself and depend on others for validation and direction. That would be smothering to a girl, I would think. She would want you to be confident and not in need of constant reassurance from her, or direction and guidance.

I could be wrong... but that's the way you came off from your posts.

[fullorange]

I see, so what you`re saying is, "Don't be so weak." Got it.