In love with my cousin

[Lonely Larry]

Hi everyone, this is really hard for me to say, and I know some of you will mock me but I have nowhere else to turn, I have to ask these questions, and I need the anonimity of the Internet. I don't believe you can ask somebody to control who they fall in love with, and I'm falling in love with someone I simply can't have, I've known her all my life, we're good mates, and she's 19, I'm 23. She is the most beautiful incredible person ever and I'd do anything to be with her, but she's my cousin. I know this is wrong but I can't help it. I love her. What should I do?

[Perryville]

Avoid her like the plague. This can never work out, and WILL cause family problems, like you wouldn't believe. Go find somebody else, who isn't related to you.

[misombra]

yeah you need to listen to perry. he's even from texas and he thinks it's wrong.

[Perryville]

ffffffffffffttttt!! (raspberry)

[Perryville]

OP, Misombra is a Godless heathen, but even she can see that this is a bad thing.

[misombra]

perry's a catholic priest and even he thinks it's wrong!

[Perryville]

Please Mis, I'm an Orthodox priest, we're allowed to f**k.

[misombra]

perry is an orthodox priests who fuks and curses and he even thinks it's wrong.

[Perryville]

I asked my mistress (nun), and my wife (Christian Scientist)and even they think it's wrong.

[Peter Pry]

There is definitely a strong social norm against it, and an enormous ick factor, but I have a hard time finding an injured party in this arrangement. The myth is that potential children will come out with four heads, but that simply isn't the case. It takes many generations of inbreeding for defects to accumulate.

I don't think it's ethically wrong.... but.... ick. On the other hand, a lot of the things I do are icky to others. So I'm not willing to tell you to get out immediately, but you are going to have to think about just how badly you are going to be rejected by your family and society if you pursue this.

I find it interesting just how common this is, actually. Psychology seems to indicate that we are programmed to find people who resemble our close family to be attractive, but that there is a barrier built in childhood to being attracted to actual members of the family. A cousin looks very much like your family, but is on the outskirts of the family. As a result, they are right on the cusp between attraction and ick. Sometimes the attraction wins.

[qwertz]

its not actually really frowned upon in england.

[Peter Pry]

its not actually really frowned upon in england.

Oh, well, if that's true then since the OP is in England, perhaps it's not such a big deal then.

[Gigabitch]

FYI, there are several states in America where it is legal to marry your cousin.

I don't know if New Mexico is one of them, but let me tell you, we just don't do that shit here, legal or not. "Ick factor" is right. Some things are better left undone, you know?

Edit: I just looked it up and New Mexico lets you marry your cousin. Gross!

Does your cousin return these feelings?