Teetering on the Friendzone

[Syph]

I have great chemistry with a girl at college and asked her out about two months ago. She said yes, and was talking to her on facebook when she cancelled. I said, I hope this isn't a rejection and she replied "no rejection, we're just friends + I'm seeing someone at the mo."

I've been seeing her consistently as I valued her as a person above all else and her facebook status has been single since I asked her out. The chemistry remains great if not stronger.

Perhaps now is the time to ask her out again?

[Chupacabras]

You aren't teetering at the friendzone precipice, you fell off that cliff long ago.

I wouldn't bother asking her out again, she clearly isn't interested in you that way. "no rejection, we're just friends + I'm seeing someone at the mo." is code for "I like having you around, but I don't see your penis in me".

Sorry, move on to someone new.

[Syph]

You aren't teetering at the friendzone precipice, you fell off that cliff long ago.

I wouldn't bother asking her out again, she clearly isn't interested in you that way. "no rejection, we're just friends + I'm seeing someone at the mo." is code for "I like having you around, but I don't see your penis in me".

Sorry, move on to someone new.

Okay, just a thought...

Since you are here, the advice from every real person I have talked to outside of the forum seems to say the contrary when it comes to establishing interest.

They say you need to establish a relationship before asking them out.

From experience you need to know a girl pretty well before you can make any sort of move. Or I'm a complete failure.

[Chupacabras]

Dates are for getting to know someone while showing you have a romantic interest in them. Surely that hasn't changed in the 20ish years since I was your age?

[Syph]

Dates are for getting to know someone while showing you have a romantic interest in them. Surely that hasn't changed in the 20ish years since I was your age?

Maybe it's because I'm only 16... maybe the girls want more of a foundation.

Or I'm suffering from the chronic illness of attention deficit and not paying attention to the sure-fire signs of interest or the contrary...

Typical of me...

[shheadz]

Geez.. when I was 16 "building a foundation" meant going up to her at her locker, and asking if she wanted to make out later. I'm kind of joking, but there's no need to build some kind of foundation before asking a girl out, and even less so at your age. I dated girls in high school that I didn't even know. Their friend said she liked me, I said "Who? Oh yeah, she's hot", and bam.. we were dating.

This building a foundation stuff is exactly why you're in the friend zone with this girl. You should have made a strong confident move when you first met. But it is too late for her. Move on to someone else.

[Syph]

Geez.. when I was 16 "building a foundation" meant going up to her at her locker, and asking if she wanted to make out later. I'm kind of joking, but there's no need to build some kind of foundation before asking a girl out, and even less so at your age. I dated girls in high school that I didn't even know. Their friend said she liked me, I said "Who? Oh yeah, she's hot", and bam.. we were dating.

I could easily do this. My one problem is that the girl will think "he just wants to get in my pants".

Or is this my imagination?

I'll try it the next time I meet a girl that I like.

Cheers

[shheadz]

I could easily do this.

I wasn't actually suggesting you take that approach. haha.. I'm only pointing out that high school is a whirlwind of dating and romances. They come and go pretty quickly, and if you just sit there trying to get to know every girl you're interested in, it's all going to pass you by. Like Chupacabras said, you get to know the girl better after you start dating.

My one problem is that the girl will think "he just wants to get in my pants".

Every 16 year old girl already knows that every guy wants to get into her pants. Don't worry about her thinking that, because it's already a given.

[shheadz]

One other thing.. I graduated high school 15 years ago, so maybe my memory is a bit fuzzy..

In high school, whether or not you want to date someone is really a simple matter of physical attraction. There isn't much reason to get to know one another before dating, because you're all basically the same anyway. You all live with your parents, you all take the same classes, you're all listening to the same music and watching the same movies. You're not old enough to have any real life history or emotional baggage, you don't even know what you're looking for yet in a girl/guy, and your personalities aren't even fully developed.

So what do you think you're going to gain by getting to know a girl real well before asking her out?

[Syph]

So what do you think you're going to gain by getting to know a girl real well before asking her out?

If I'm honest, I don't know.

I'm only playing the game because I want to have an intimate relationship and a bit of fun. I pretty much just want to make out with her, maybe lose my virginity and have a good time.

...and then dump her, and stay single until I'm mature enough to want a commitment, cuz I sure as hell know that teenage girls are never going to commit.

I want to big myself up for when I meet 'the one' at uni or beyond.

[Gigabitch]

I'm only playing the game because I want to have an intimate relationship and a bit of fun. I pretty much just want to make out with her, maybe lose my virginity and have a good time.

...and then dump her, and stay single until I'm mature enough to want a commitment, cuz I sure as hell know that teenage girls are never going to commit.

Maybe they can smell this on you and want nothing to do with being used like that.

[Syph]

Maybe they can smell this on you and want nothing to do with being used like that.

I doubt that, they can smell the opposite. They can smell I want to commit, they smell the real me that wants to settle down, not the person I'm trying to be so I can get a foot in the door of anything romantic.

I doubt any of the people in my college are after anything more than sex and a good time. I mean, how many people marry after college?

I don't want to use them per se, but I'm not a fool enough to believe my college relationships will be substantial.

[Gigabitch]

Then get in there and get some squack, my friend.

[Syph]

Then get in there and get some squack, my friend.

I need to know where I'm going wrong first... I'll try that method and disprove/prove it.

[Gigabitch]

I told you, ask them out right away. Don't even get onto the Friend Zone onramp.