Please help!!!! Want ex back (details inside)

[808]

Ok so lately we've been talking (I know, I messed up). things have been going well and we both realized there is still something between us. Still, she will not get back together because she really likes this other guy. I want to get over her. I will go NC for a while.

I have strong feelings of anger/jealousy towards her and whole The Situation (not the guido from jersey shore lol). How do I deal with it and get over her?

[cmacattack1]

Making a decision and sticking with it. No flip flopping, if you want to go no contact, you go no contact and keep no contact. You say you want to get over her and past her, and keeping her in your life certainly won't help that.

She has a pretty sweet scenario: she has you on one hand interested and wanting to be with her and will pretty much do whatever it takes to make her happy and all the while she has another guy she really likes that probably isn't jumping at her every beck and call. It's a pretty powerful feeling and she is enjoying it.

You seem so dependant on her and basing your happiness on having her in your life. You have to be on your own and find out who you are again. I understand that you love her for who she is but she is nowhere near perfect. If I understand correctly, she dumped you, and what usually accompanies a break up is a feeling of power and a feeling of righteousness for the dumper. If you feel right and think they are wrong, you aren't likely to change. Hence her more than likely not changing for the better. If she hasn't changed, while you have made all the effort to better yourself as a person and a boyfriend, what do you think would happen even if you got back together? Getting back together with the same person is going to yield the same result.

You need this space to better yourself as a person while giving her the space to better herself too. If you are constantly coming at her to get back together, she is going to continue to feel right and just string you along. It's time to break the codependance and this seemingly endless cycle of keeping you hooked because she will eventually get bored and will eventually find somebody else. And your chances for future reconciliation go down and down and down the whole time.

Remember she has you while hanging out with somebody else. That's not what relationship are based on. It's bullshit.

[808]

Your right its bullshit. The sad thing is... I don't really want her back at this point, I've been good without her. I am enjoying all the time I have to my self and my friends, plus the new girls are exciting. For some reason I do still have strong feelings for her and am getting angry/jealous over the situation. We share many of the same friends/go to the same college/ live in neighboring buildings, so I don't know how to put her out completely. It's a f***ed up situation that I LET myself get into. I just need to step back for a while.

Last night she called me begging to pick her up and hang out, I ignored and refused, she got pissed. I felt like I had a little more power and felt good about being able to turn her down. She called this morning to apologize and I caved and talked to her for a while. Back to square 1...

She messaged me just now actually. Didn't respond. Feels liberating. I need to stick to it.

[Chazza2k]

Make your mind up, you still seem undecided? If your answering and showing any affection or care she's going to keep at it until she gets what shes after. If you don't want her anymore, tell her... then ignore her completely. She really doesnt want you either by sounds. Then Move on.

This friends innercircle thing, I have been there and know its very unpleasant, you risk friends having to choose sides etc... in my case, family too, Ex is (was) sisters best friend. Your real friends will stick with you, hers will stick with her. You still have strong feelings for her so being around her will not help you, I know you don't want to lose friends over her but sometimes you have to do it for your own sake to move forward. Imagine what it would be like when she brings her new boyfriend into your click?? Believe me on this one the anger and jellousy gets magnified many times over...

Do what you need to do for yourself. Move away from her.

[Moe]

Hook up have wild crazy sex do things you would never do and take pictures. You said early she drinks and then after she's into the other guy real good send him the pictures with you smiling.

Boy I wish I did that.LOL

ANOTHER UPDATE: Alright so I've been trying to get over her lately and move on. We've been back at home for a few days. My plan was to just let her be and have her miss me. Well... she did. Within ONE DAY of being home she started texting me again, being a little flirty, and being cautious in leading me on but saying "i missed you today". We went on to talk all night and the next night. She asked me to come over to watch a movie, I lied and told her "I can't tomorrow but maybe later" as to not seem "needy". She asked me again the next day and I went. We cuddled and watched a movie and ended up hooking up.

The whole day went well but she got really upset towards the end. She felt bad, saying she was starting to get those feelings for me back but doesn't think she wants to get back because she likes another guy. She said she really had fun with me and would want to keep hanging out over break. I don't think I do that because I need to move on if she isn't giving me a legit chance. I do enjoy hanging out with her and am hoping she will change. After listening to all of your comments I think it's stupid for me to play her game so I'm just going to stop initiating conversations, let her go, and see what happens. Damn, girls suck.