girl interested in 2 guy friends

[ilove]

So, I am a 16 year old girl and I have a very close group of friends, if something happens, it involves everyone and everyone knows about it. So my dilemma is that i am interested in 2 of my guy friends and I dont know if should go for one, both or neither.. or something else.

A little about me.
I dont really have much experience with reelationships, and i am well known for having many crushes and never acting on it

Guy #1.. lets call him.. Neil
We have always had chemistry.. and at the beginning of the summer.. i found out from one of my firends that he liked me.. with this knowledge.. i started flirting with him over the summer.. and he did the same back..
However neither of us declared how we felt.. although from the way we acting together.. it was pretty clear.. especially to our friends..
And since our friends knew we both liked each other.. all of our friends decided they liked the idea, and thought it would be cool if we were together.. so they played matchmaker and dropped constant hints and tried to get us together..
But now that i think about it, i think it was pretty forced.. it think both of us were bored and wanted "someone", especially trying to please or friends as well..
When we got back to school, things changed, I started to find the way he acted a little tired and slighty on the annoying side.. and because of what happened i started ignoring him without realizing it.
Now we still hang out with the same friends and I still catch him staring at me and other signs.. that point to the possibility that he might still be interested.

Guy #2-- we will call him matt
So just in the past few months, i started to seem him in a new way.. and found myself wanting to be with him, notice me.. etc When we ended up talking, it seemed we had some chemistry and i found him although i do catch him giving a few signs that neil does to.. liking smililing like crazy when i talk, a genuine interest in what i am doing...

In order to act on my feelings, and not keep it to myself, which in the past i only did, I decided to ask Matt to hang out sometime to get to know each other better... but i sent Neil the same message too... I am ok with this becuase it is just a casual hangout and i want to get to know both of them better.. to base my feelings on better..

However when I am hanging out, do I fllirt with either of them, give them a feeling of intrest from me.. or tell them how i feel... because i dont want to lead anyone on.. or get my firends or them to find out i did the same thing with both of them..

So who do i go for, the summer fling of a shy guy Neil, who i know will return my feelings although i dont know if i am still interested or risk it with the newer guy, Matt who gives me that tingling feeling of excitment that i no longer get with neil..

I feel good about exploring both of them more to figure it out.. but i need some advice to go from there..

Girl 16 years old

[pdubu]

Seems like you're tired of Neil.

Take a risk and try it out with Matt, and if things don't work out, you'll always be able to fall back on Neil.

Poor Neil.

[Peter Pry]

There is no law that says you must be monogamous; only social convention. But the reality is that humans are constantly attracted to multiple people. You can decide that social convention is more important than love, and deny your attraction for one of them (hurting you both), or you can decide that love is more important and buck social convention.

They are already good friends. Be honest with them both about dating them both and perhaps, if they are not very jealous people, they will enjoy sharing you and you can all go out together.

[all alone]

Whatever you do, don't date either of these boys, or you will ruin your friendship with both instantly. My highschool 'click' was really tight and ppl dated within the group wayy to much and it didn't have pretty endings. Thank god i stayed away from those activities.

Your toying Neil along needlessly and when u ignored him you prolly crushed him, if he is the shy guy you said he is.

You sound like you like the thrill of the chase and not necessarily the potential relationship at the end of it. If you date either of these, you better be damn sure about yourself because after that it won't ever be the same. It will ruin your friendship and entire group dynamic.

Based on what you have told us, i would STAY AWAY big time.. if you really want a boy or a relationship, which ever, leave these guys be and go for someone outside your group.

[ctom18]

Be nice to both of them, but go for Matt. Make every early meeting with Matt very casual so that you can find out if you actually really like him or not without needlessly creating drama among your group of friends.

If you don't feel "that tingly feeling" towards Neil, you don't like him as more than a friend. You may sorta think that the idea of you and Neil makes sense, but you'll only end up hurting him eventually if he does feel "that tingly feeling" towards you, and the friend drama over that is bound to be worse than any drama you can imagine now. Just stay friends with him.

You're 16, and if you aren't feeling the tingly feeling about a guy this early in your dating life, it isn't ever going to happen. Go for the guy(s) you feel it for, but go carefully.

[Cbrider]

I have a very close group of friends, if something happens, it involves everyone and everyone knows about it.

This part worries me.

[kai]

Stay away from both.

[vashti]

I agree with those who say to not date either of them. It's not a good idea to date within your own social circle, unless you are willing to find a new one if things go bad.