Hey everyone :), should I try to get her back??

[Raziel069]

I treated my last girlfriend really bad. We were together for three years and I gave her so much crap that I'm surprised she stuck around and even loved me until the very end. It took a few months for me to realize how badly I treated her. I think admitting it to myself is the first step in changing it because really, I had NO idea. I'm sitting here reflecting on the last year and my God, I can't forgive myself.

A couple of months ago I left her for another woman. The new woman has everything the other woman lacked but nothing of what I liked about the other woman. She very intelligent and VERY open sexually. No hang ups about sex what so ever but has NO idea how to be in a relationship. The first one was the real "marriage material" girl mom always tells you to marry. She's been sick for the past couple of weeks and she's treated me like SHIT! It's like some kind of karmic energy making me reap what I've sown. I mean, the EXACT same things I use to do to my ex girlfriend. So I understand completely what's gong on right now. Karma is hitting me HARD and this revelation is overwhelming me with self hatred and disguised for who I had become. The only thing granting me a stay of self execution is the fact that I know I'm not that person anymore. Or at least, I'm shedding the old skin VERY quickly. Otherwise, I couldn't live with myself knowing what I know now and feeling the way I feel now.

Now the question I keep asking myself. Now that I've seen the error of my ways, in a major way, would it be right to call her back up?? I can't help but think about last New Years Eve. We argued all night long. And tonight, I'm sitting here, I refuse to go out, I'm sitting in the same spot as I was last year, looking out the same window and really thinking about how bad I screwed up last year. We probably argued more days than we had peace and that's including October through now when we weren't together anymore.

She's a phone call away. But I can't bring myself to make that phone call. Not after what I've seen in myself. Two great year together, and one terrible terrible year. I know she loves me. I mean that real love. I can't believe I screwed it up so bad. How could I value something like that so little to just toss it out like that?

I have a feeling I'll be looking back several years down the line in regret. I'm glad I was able to grow spiritually and emotionally but the timing was way too late. I don't even know if I could face her again with the guilt.


And for the record, there was never anything like physical abuse or anything like that. It was this distance, this not seeing her for days even though we lived in the same house because I'd lock myself in my office. Starting arguments for no reason that lasted for days on end, ending in silent treatments for more days. It was bad. Very bad. We'd go a week at a time without even sleeping in the same bed because we'd let some petty argument last for WAY longer than it should have.

[shheadz]

Just curious.. and maybe this isn't even relevant.. but are you sure she's not to blame too? I know a lot of us getting out of bad relationships immediately shoulder all the burden for things going sour. It's only after more time has passed that we see how the other person really f*cked up too.

[Raziel069]

Thank you for the thought provoking reply. It's exactly what I needed. I am going to meditate on the question and see what kind of answers I come up with.

[SheglowedBindi]

best thing you could do is leave her alone for good, if you really treated her badly then give her a break and leave her be. Even if you have changed etc it doesn't matter you had your chance and screwed it up. Pus you guys might get into the same habits as before?
Just let her be happy with someone eles? plus if it was just a bad relationship on its own accord, why go back? past is past, just try and move on

[CAM]

Never put your social life in reverse. Never.

[IndiReloaded]

Treat your next GF better.