How Important Is Dancing?

[Glith]

If my dislike of dancing was important to somebody I was interested in, well, I wouldn't be interested in them for much longer. That's ridiculous to me.

"There's this guy I really like, and he likes me. He's kind, generous, intelligent, he treats me well, and I'm really attracted to him, but it's just not going to work out. He just doesn't enjoy swaying and flailing his limbs to music..."

[Sanctuary]

Inability to dance shouldn't be a deal breaker. But from my experience, it's such a big plus that I can hardly think of anything that rivals it.

"There's this guy I really like, and he likes me. He's kind, generous, intelligent, he treats me well, and I'm really attracted to him, but it's just not going to work out. He just doesn't enjoy swaying and flailing his limbs to music..."

This is a flawed counterpoint because you're already assuming she likes you. And then you portray dancing with a really negative connotation.

You can pretty much say: "There's this guy I really like, and he likes me. He's kind, generous, intelligent, he treats me well, and I'm really attracted to him, but it's just not going to work out. He just [insert almost any bad thing here]," and make that undesirable attribute look like a seemingly ridiculous reason to break up.

[Glith]

Well really that's all dancing is, moving your body to a beat...and as I said, if that's important enough to somebody that I may not meet their requirements because of it, they're REALLY not for me. I'd rather somebody who looked for qualities which actually matter.
Hell, I'd love my girlfriend to have won awards for back massage and fine cuisine, but it matters not a notch that she doesn't have those qualities, and the idea that it'd be a dealbreaker is nuts.

[Sanctuary]

Well really that's all dancing is, moving your body to a beat...

Yea and all talking is moving your mouth to make sounds.

...and as I said, if that's important enough to somebody that I may not meet their requirements because of it, they're REALLY not for me. I'd rather somebody who looked for qualities which actually matter.
Hell, I'd love my girlfriend to have won awards for back massage and fine cuisine, but it matters not a notch that she doesn't have those qualities, and the idea that it'd be a dealbreaker is nuts.

So your point is that if someone doesn't like you, then they're not for you.

[Glith]

Not really, my point is that if something as shallow and unimportant in life as dancing is enough to stop a woman from being attracted to me, she's not the sort of woman worth worrying about.

I'm an artist, I love art, I love to paint and to visit galleries. It's an absolute passion, especially creating art WITH someone. My current girlfriend really isn't interested in art in the slightest, and that doesn't matter for a moment to me.

I have my passions and interests, she has hers. I like to think that the lack of a similar interest in a specific area wouldn't be enough to turn me off somebody I'd otherwise love.

[Sanctuary]

I dunno what we're debating about, but I did say "inability to dance shouldn't be a dealbreaker."

My original point was that if dancing was that big of a deal to a girl, she wouldn't have liked you in the first place. So your comment about how a girl can like everything about you and then saying it won't work out because you can't dance is a flawed argument for your point of view.

And the rest of your posts where you minimalize dance is no better than when someone says art is stupid and worthless.

Except from my point of view, in the context of getting girls, dance has near universal appeal. I haven't met a single girl that doesn't like to dance.

But not being able to dance shouldn't be a dealbreaker.

[lahnnabell]

Yeah... Dancing feels really good, and it's usually a package deal. You can hang out, have some drinks, work it out on the dance floor, get paid some compliments, and have fun!

[girl68]

For the record when I say it IS a deal breaker I do not mean the inability to dance, I mean the refusal to dance is a deal breaker. If he comes to join me on the dance floor and can't dance worth a shit it still dancing. The guy who refuses to join me to sit at a table all night long is the deal breaker.

[Glith]

I wasn't pointing fingers at anyone, or commenting on anybody's posts in particular. I just find the whole concept of refusal to dance being a dealbreaker, a little sad.

I mean, I've not actually been to any 'dancy' places with my current girlfriend yet (usually just restaurants or quiet bars), but if and when we do, she decides to end it after 7 months because I don't enjoy swaying to music, well....I don't think I'd understand it. It's just something that somebody either enjoys or they dont, and I can't imagine somebody's lack of mutual passion for one of my passtimes being a factor which would change my view of them as a person or potential partner.

I may be able to dance, I may not, but I don't do it because it's not something I'd get anything from. Again, it's just the thought that somebody could have the conviction that I must also enjoy a certain pleasure of theirs or we're not compatible, amazes me.

[vashti]

I don't really get why (some) males are so resistant to dancing. EVERYONE can slow dance; it takes absolutely no skill, and it makes women SOOOO happy. Kind of like how watching a football game is for most women.

I guess I "get" the resistance to anything faster, though it sure does detract from the joy in life.

[Glith]

It's not about being able to, it's about wanting to. I have a good ear, I enjoy playing the guitar, I enjoy music...I have a decent sense of beat and I'm sure with a little practice I could be an ok dancer, the problem is that I get NO joy from it, I can't see the sense in it or why it's an issue to some people. My girlfriends over the years really havent given a damn whether I dance or not. It's not about resisting, it's about choosing to do the things in life you get enjoyment from.
I think it's about accepting that your partner isn't going to enjoy everything you do, and if doing it is only going to make them uncomfortable, why would you want them to?

I find it difficult to comprehend that some people don't enjoy standing with a paint brush and blank canvas in front of them. Some people will be better at painting than others, but even those who aren't skillful could at least get some joy from pushing the paint around. However, there are plenty of people who aren't interested at all by it, and I wouldn't try to push somebody into doing it just because it's my thing.

[Gribble]

I find it so amazingly dull It bores me to absolute tears. Granted, if she really wants to I'll get up there and flail around or sway or whatever. I'll even try not to yawn while I do it.

Maybe if I could figure out how you people get into it I'd view dancing in a different light. I cram myself onto the dance floor, wedged in like a sardine and surrounded by smelly, gross people while noise blares, and then I'm expected to wiggle around. And somehow that's supposed to be fun.

[vashti]

How can you guys get no enjoyment from holding a pretty girl in your arms?

[Glith]

Oh I certainly do, but I don't need music

[Indignant]

I find it so amazingly dull It bores me to absolute tears. Granted, if she really wants to I'll get up there and flail around or sway or whatever. I'll even try not to yawn while I do it.

Maybe if I could figure out how you people get into it I'd view dancing in a different light. I cram myself onto the dance floor, wedged in like a sardine and surrounded by smelly, gross people while noise blares, and then I'm expected to wiggle around. And somehow that's supposed to be fun.

do you not enjoy music at all? does your body not feel or react to the rhytm?