How Important Is Dancing?

[phys251]

Hehe, so what's easier to deal with? The uncomfortability of dancing for a few hours with your special lady and making her happy, or watching her dance on some other dude? I would think that if a dude were to feel uncomfortable he'd at least go the option where his girl is choosing to be all over him.

My bf had a problem with me salsa-ing with other men. He knew from the get go dancing is my first love, but he never said anything for or against my hobby- until he saw it.

He came with me one night to my salsa club, and there I dance with anyone who asks and I get asked a lot. He came, he saw, he didn't like. The spinning, the holding, the dipping, the hips... he was jealous that these men got to touch me and move me like that. He didn't like that he couldn't do the same.

We talked about it he got it all off his chest. I told him that there are a few exceptions to my dance with anyone rule. If I know he's just being pervy to look down my shirt I say no. I assure him that I'm dancing becasue I enjoy it not so that the "hot latin lover" over there gets to twirl me around.

I told him he's by far my favorite partner despite him now knowing a step in the right direction.

In conclusion: he doesn't love dancing, and really not salsa but he lets me enjoy and will participate from time to time. However, in the club he likes getting down with his hot gf (as he puts it). So I'm happy here!

Um. If it's a mutually agreed-upon decision that both parties are comfortable with, that's fine. If the guy really doesn't want to share, and the girl wants to dance "just to have fun," that triggers the risk of jealousy and bad feelings. That can be a VERY long car ride home from the club.

Put simply, an I-wanna-dance-no-matter-who-it's-with attitude can be a deal-breaker for some guys.

I don't tend to be a jelous person, but i think seeing my girlfriend dancing with another guy would slightly twang the jealously threads in a healthy way.
I can't really understand it being a problem for guys though, ESPECIALLY if they've got the opportunity to be the guy their girlfriend's dancing with but decide to pass.

Well there's the other side of the picture. It takes work to learn how to dance right, but it is worth it.

[Glith]

Well there's the other side of the picture. It takes work to learn how to dance right, but it is worth it.

To be honest, I doubt most people really care how 'good' a dancer their other half is (so long as they're not embarrassing), they'd just like somebody to dance with. I don't shy away from dancing because I can't do it, I don't do it because I don't like it, but it'd be pretty unfair of me to expect my girlfriend to give up dancing too.
I'm quite happy for her to dance with any guy in the place, even if I'm not going to relish the experience. Put up or shut up I guess

[phys251]

To be honest, I doubt most people really care how 'good' a dancer their other half is (so long as they're not embarrassing), they'd just like somebody to dance with. I don't shy away from dancing because I can't do it, I don't do it because I don't like it, but it'd be pretty unfair of me to expect my girlfriend to give up dancing too.
I'm quite happy for her to dance with any guy in the place, even if I'm not going to relish the experience. Put up or shut up I guess

But wouldn't most people who like dancing admit that they'd prefer their partner to actually be good at it?

[girl68]

Put simply, an I-wanna-dance-no-matter-who-it's-with attitude can be a deal-breaker for some guys.

I would agree. But if a guy gets involved with me I let him know up front what he's walking into. Should he choose to continue then complains that I go dancing to much well then I blame him. He knew what he was getting into. It has caused problems in the past which is now why I declare it a dealbreaker for me.

[girl68]

But wouldn't most people who like dancing admit that they'd prefer their partner to actually be good at it?

Hell yeah. I wish my bf was the best salsa dancer in the club. He's one of the worst. Ah well, he gets the dirty bump n grind the others get the structured my dance space, your dance space don't invade my space.

[Glith]

I would agree. But if a guy gets involved with me I let him know up front what he's walking into. Should he choose to continue then complains that I go dancing to much well then I blame him. He knew what he was getting into. It has caused problems in the past which is now why I declare it a dealbreaker for me.

I guess it's just like the guys who start dating a stripper, then a year later complain that their girlfriends take their clothes off in front of guys for a living

[phys251]

I would agree. But if a guy gets involved with me I let him know up front what he's walking into. Should he choose to continue then complains that I go dancing to much well then I blame him. He knew what he was getting into. It has caused problems in the past which is now why I declare it a dealbreaker for me.

And I certainly think that's a fair response. Dancing, no dancing, whatever but for heaven's sakes both sides need to let their feelings about this be known to the other BEFORE going to the dance club.

[girl68]

LOL ^ yeah- pretty much what I was getting at! To a tee.

Glith and I have a completely different perspective on dancing but neither of us is wrong.

[Coco]

Men don't mind strippers. It's the only form of dance they agree with.

[girl68]

Men might not mind, but I sure as hell do and boy does he know it.

[Gribble]

I don't even care for strippers, really. A) they won't have sex with me. B) if they would, they'd probably give me some kind of horrible infection and then try to charge for it.

No thank you. Besides, watching a girl rubbing against a pole isn't much fun unless it's my pole she's rubbing on.

[Coco]

I don't even care for strippers, really. A) they won't have sex with me. B) if they would, they'd probably give me some kind of horrible infection and then try to charge for it.

No thank you. Besides, watching a girl rubbing against a pole isn't much fun unless it's my pole she's rubbing on.

I'd rock your world Gribble. You haven't seen a dancer until you've seen me You'll want to shake your bon bon on the dance floor. LMAO!

[SirWagginston]

I don't really know anything about dancing. All these fancy terms like "swing" and "salsa" are mostly lost on me. I find the idea that dancing could be a bigger decisive factor than my personality, intelligence or looks to be very scary.

The only music I ever instinctively danced to growing up (while not under the influence of alcohol or drugs) was house, techno and stuff like that. Other kids thought that was weird, though, probably because I was a white boy growing up in Arlington, where minorities are the clear majority now. We had European kids, too, but they were mostly the nerdy offspring of touring diplomats.

Getting wasted a lot has really improved my ability to dance to rock and rap, though. I'm curious about what else I could learn, because there are so many songs I like that I'm sure can be danced to that I've never figured out. Most of them are common songs people in a lot of parts of the US would laugh at me for not getting down to.

[Sanctuary]

Looks like I missed most of the conversation.

I don't believe some people CAN dance and others CAN'T. If you move your body to music, who's to tell you you're doing it 'wrong'.

To use that dance=language analogy I made earlier in this thread: sure, you can use whatever words you want to express yourself but you still have to follow the rules of grammar or else you'll be an incoherent mess. Rhythm is the grammar of dance - reread that last sentence except replace "words" with "dance moves" and "follow the rules of grammar" with "stay on beat" and you'll see what I mean.

It takes work to learn how to dance right, but it is worth it.

From your experience, yes. But to guys that don't like to dance at all, maybe not.

I find the idea that dancing could be a bigger decisive factor than my personality, intelligence or looks to be very scary.

Knowing how to dance well is a big plus (it's also an indicator of personality). But not knowing how to dance well is not necessarily a negative since a lot of guys can't dance well anyway.

[Glith]

Knowing how to dance well is a big plus (it's also an indicator of personality).

Wow, do you really believe that? I wouldn't have thought it said much more about my personality than the fact that I don't feel the need to move my body to a beat. I've known some confident, outgoing, life-and-soul-of-the-party type people who don't step foot on the dancefloor, and I've seen quiet, shy guys who spend all night dancing.