Accepting Responsibility

[Heratriumphant]

I've learned that I really and truely don't have to pretend/convince myself to want the things the world says a woman of my age and position in life are supposed to want.

Marriage isn't on my "To Do list", and really there isn't a damn thing wrong with that.

[Petit Papillon]

I`ve learned that my ex`s penis is not the only one in the world... Joke

I didn`t learn anything with my past relationship.But I do learn in this one that there are compromises, and it`s possible to have no dramas. I`ve also learned how to do the best caresses ever ,but it`s actually bad cause my bf abuse it... Constantly. We laugh that he`s a `Calino whore` He`ll do anything for a `calinos session` Well I also learn how to enjoy giving and taking

[lahnnabell]

I`ve also learned how to do the best caresses ever ,but it`s actually bad cause my bf abuse it... Constantly. We laugh that he`s a `Calino whore` He`ll do anything for a `calinos session` Well I also learn how to enjoy giving and taking

Haha, my guy is the same. He's always soliciting me for back rubs and head rubs now. I'm happy to do it, especially when he puts his head in my lap and looks at me those those puppy eyes. Damn. He leaves on Sunday. Damn damn damn.

[Petit Papillon]

Haha, my guy is the same. He's always soliciting me for back rubs and head rubs now. I'm happy to do it, especially when he puts his head in my lap and looks at me those those puppy eyes. Damn. He leaves on Sunday. Damn damn damn.

I`m happy to do that too but he really abuses it... Especially in the morning when he wakes up to work while I`m in the middle of my sleep. He wakes me up and forces to do him calinos Often I do it while I`m still unconscious hehehehe Ok I go to bed :p

[Perryville]

I have had to learn to be a single parent, and not have anyone else to rely on.

[IndiReloaded]

I had to learn to accept that wanting to kill your partner occasionally is perfectly normal.

Another lesson, fairly recent (last 5 years), is that sometimes one must make people unhappy to get results. And that, even tho the end outcome might be correct, one still needs to apologize/make amends for the disruption. Its not standing on principle, b/c that would mean arguing about the 'rightness' of your actions. I mean swallowing the ego on 'being right' as the price you pay for progress.

Not sure that last will make sense unless you've lived it. Oh well, do your best.

[IndiReloaded]

its been a year now, i thought i had got over the hating part, but lately realised i havnt.

I feel like i wouldnt know how to love again even if i tried

I'd be hating for a looong time too, Q. You'll get there. Be kind to yourself, remember?

[starbuck]

I take responsibility that in most of my past relationships I was confusing love with a need for some kind of companionship. Not that all my past relationships were with bad. Only the last one before my husband actually had me questioning my sanity after the fact, and I met that guy when I was in a very dark place emotionally. The rest were perfectly good guys who just didn't have everything I was looking for. There was always something missing.

When I demanded more accountability from myself about what I was looking for and deciding never to settle for less, I met my husband. I can't think of a better person for me. He's really shattered my cynicsm about love.

[Coco]

I had to learn to accept that wanting to kill your partner occasionally is perfectly normal.

Another lesson, fairly recent (last 5 years), is that sometimes one must make people unhappy to get results. And that, even tho the end outcome might be correct, one still needs to apologize/make amends for the disruption. Its not standing on principle, b/c that would mean arguing about the 'rightness' of your actions. I mean swallowing the ego on 'being right' as the price you pay for progress.

Not sure that last will make sense unless you've lived it. Oh well, do your best.

I get it. But why do you think the person wants to make someone unhappy for no reason? Or do you think it's not intentional... just at the time they really feel like they have a reason start shit.

I wonder because some people jeopardize good relationship, but instead of accepting responsibility for their actions and admitting they are wrong... they will say things like, "you are too good for me". Some will even use the same excuse to break up with a person.

[IndiReloaded]

No offense Coco, but I doubt you get it. You might understand intellectually what I'm saying, but that's not the same thing. If you did, you wouldn't be struggling in your present relationship. But understanding is definitely a start.

[vashti]

Just when I think I have learned something that lasts, the rules of the game change, and I have to start all over again. So I guess the thing I learned is to be flexible.

[Coco]

I'm not struggling in my present relationship. I'm struggling to move on from my last relationship. Breaking up is hard to do you know.

[IndiReloaded]

Did you break up? OMG, sorry. Yes, its hard even if its right.

[Coco]

Yes, I did it. It was hard but I did it. I took my keys from him. Asked him to move out of my house and do not contact me anymore. He calls everyday... but I haven't answered the phone. I know it's him because he's calling from his mother's house. I know I did the right thing. I'm just trying to be strong about it.

Accepting responsibility is hard. I haven't been very responsible and I know it. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to fix myself. Blahhhhhh.

[IndiReloaded]

I haven't been very responsible and I know it. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to fix myself. Blahhhhhh.[/FONT]

Well, just know that its a continuum, not an endpoint. There are no 'experts' in this, no 'fixed' people. Only how far along you are and where you are going. Good luck.