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Thread: My first poem...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    519

    My first poem...

    The moon is in your eyes
    The stars reside in my heart
    Now I am writing this poem
    Hoping to open the doors to YOUR heart

    I want to forget all my frustrations
    All my worries and qualms
    Run away from this cruel world filled with lies
    Would you run with me or just leave me to cry?

    You know my heart burns for you
    Just for you, just for you
    Everything you feel in your heart
    I am willing to feel it with you

    Would you ever believe me
    You are the only girl
    I ever see in my dreams
    When everything is just a whirl

    When I'm together with you
    I know I'd never give up
    Even if you hold some dark secrets
    I really don't give a f*ck

    I really just want to
    Live my life with you
    Live my life for you
    Write this poem dedicated to you

    Love's in the air
    It's everywhere
    Everyone can see it
    Everyone can feel it

    Love's in the air
    And it doesn't matter where
    I definitely see
    That love is all we need

    When the moon falls in your eyes
    I then know the sun has set
    The fire still burns within me
    The fire that was there since the day we met

    I know my Heaven would be so complete
    If you could just make it real
    I won't let you just go by
    I want to see you, I want to feel you

    I really just want to
    Live my life with you
    Live my life for you
    Write this poem dedicated to you

    But you are gone now...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    519
    Hmm... yuck... after reading it I think it wasn't that good. Oh well... my first anyway... hope I can do better next time!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    844
    Now look GB, there will be NO self-deprecation on this forum. It is strictly forbidden!
    Well......it should be anyway.
    Okay, just kidding, but the poem is actually quite good. I thoroughly enjoyed and eagerly look forward to more of the same. You expressed emotion so unabashedly and with a quiet resolve that truly made me feel. Tres bon, mon ami!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    519
    Ok, no self deprecation then. HA! I KNEW I ROCKED! (j/k)

    Hey, you know French? I took it as a third language in grades 7-8 but dropped it after grade 8 cos I was too busy with other commitments, so I know some basic French. Merci beaucoup!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    844
    Well, I DO live in Canada so..........Quebec is right next door and we are bombarded with French. Ontario is not bilingual, but we have to take it in school up to grade nine and all our merhchandise, road signs, etc. have both French and English on them. The closer you get to Ottawa, the more French you see/hear. But don't expect to be reading English in Quebec. Once you cross the border it's ALL French. I'm not fluent by any means (I never get to use it enough), but I know a little, (can't spell it worth a damn though. lol). Je ne parle pas très bien francais. My daughter can actually speak it better than I can. oh, and, de rien!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,232
    its really good... i like

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