Attentive lover or red flag?

[paperbird]

I'm not sure how to take my bf's recent action, and hope to get some opinions that could let me know if I have a problem. I recently took a job in a remote area of the country, and have not yet established a support network. My bf lives several states away.

Last night, I let him know through email, that the cold I had been fighting had gotten worse and that I had a fever. I told him I was going to go to the doctor the next day. He insisted on having me set up my computer and turn on skype video so he could monitor me all night to make sure I would be okay through the night. He said he was going to stay up all night. When I said I didn't think that was necessary, and that when he does such things it makes me feel like an incompetent person. He said he could treat me like any ordinary person and just say "Well, I hope you feel better..." He said he does those things because he loves me. I asked if a parent who raises an independent child loves their child less than the parent who hovers. He did not like that, and seemed angry. At any rate, I ended up leaving the connection open all night. There is something about this that makes me feel uncomfortable, and I'm not sure why. Am I distancing him when I indicate such attention is not necessary? Am I being ungrateful, less of a partner...? Or, is there something else going on I need to see?

[vashti]

I wouldn't like that. It's just a cold, for god's sake, and he is treating you like a child. Are there other examples of him needing to parent you or treat you like a baby?

[Lovable]

It might be his way of making sure you are OK. Would he do something like that if you 2 were together?

[Gigabitch]

I think you need to see that your boyfriend is really crossing a line. That's just plain weird. What kind of man needs to stay up all night watching over someone on Skype? A kooky one.

[starbuck]

This reminds me a bit of a couple I know. They live together now, but they started out as an LDR. They used to leave Skype on for each other day and night, and yes, even while they were sleeping. It was a little weird, but I guess it helped them feel closer to one another.

Maybe he's just not used to the dynamics of an LDR and he's doing things that might seem weird to try and feel closer to you. If it's really overbearing though, you should talk to him about it.

[DoesntMatter]

He was probably tugging it ALLLL NIGHHTTTT LOONNGGGGG!!!!

[Primo]

It's a red flag.

[Mish]

It sounds a bit creepy, though maybe it wasn't his intention to make it so. Maybe he just wanted to communicate that he is a caring partner in this bizarre way.


On the second thought, DM may be not too far off with the tugging theory

[IndiReloaded]

It depends on his intentions. Mbe he thought YOU would feel better. If he was seriously needing to know you were there tho--creepy.

[Sanctuary]

Your bf is bonkers.