Broken heart

[Kimber]

Well Im twenty six. I have been with the same guy for the past five years. I care about him a lot but i have never been in love with him. He is the nicest guy in the whole world. he is my best friend. When we meant I just got out of a very abusive relationship. He helped me through it and I am stronger because of him. We married about two years ago. I knew it wasn't right and tried to break it off. He would just tell me that i was having cold feet and I would marry him any ways so we need to do it right than. well we moved to a new city, where i have become even more depressed being away from my family and friends. I have tried to break up with my husband many times. I asked for a divorce but he never took it seriously. I started a new job in june and meant a guy there. We had so much fun working with each other that we started hanging out outside of work. I never felt for anyone the way i do for him. We were "together" for a short time. During this time I told my husband I wanted a divorce and he couldn't talk me out of it. I am unhappy and I need to feel more for someone than i do for him. The romance between me and the other guy ended when i got transfer to a different area. Not just because of that, we wanted to wait till i was out of my husbands house and on my own.. I ended up telling my husband that I was with this other guy. I told the other guy that I told my husband and He got mad. I really haven't spoken with him since. My husband still wants me to stay with him, even after all i told him that had happen. I hadn't spoken with the other guy in 3 weeks until the other day when i had to go to his work to drop off a few things. It was weird, I felt weird. I didnt know what to say. The last time we spoke. I told him how much i loved him and wanted to be with him. he just kept on asking me why did i have to say anything to my husband.
I dont' know what to do. I feel like my heart has been crushed. I've never been hurt so bad by anyone.

[AdminOnline]

Moved to broken heart forum for you.

btw,
Welcome to loveforum.
Hope you enjoy your stay here.

[IncognitoSir]

WOW, you definitely should not of married him in the first place. The new guy is upset because he wasnt looking for drama and he didn't want it to be an open affair so to speak. he wanted to hide his guilt, but you aired him out and now he feels extra guilty about his relations with you....which he should since you are married. I don't know what you'll have to do to get a divorce, but that's pretty much your only answer. Your husband is CRAZY about you.......literally, but you never even loved him. I cant imagine how you could bring yourself to do this to someone. Maybe you were caught up in the moment, but you gotta end it asap for your husbands sake and YOUR sake! I really feel sorry for your husband though, and even though he may have pressured you into marriage, its your responsibility to say NO!

[whyme87]

No sympathy from me here i'm afraid.marry someone you don't love.weird...good luck to your poor husband...

[cake85]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation and i can definitely relate to that...only thing i can tell you is to leave your husband, your not in love with him and your unhappy..is not fair to you and along the way is not gonna be fair to him either. Talk to him again and make him understand how you feel, not to be selfish but you need to think of what you want and if what you want isn't him then there is no reason why you should continue to be married. If you don't do it now...there will come a time where you'll ask yourself what if....because you never had the courage to leave him. good luck hun

[lhn]

Yeah I agree with all the above.
Forget about this other guy for a second. You have a marriage you need to end. You're 26 so I assume your husband is probably around the same age. Thats not life shattering in terms of having enough time to meet someone else etc for him and for you.

End your marriage. Don't be pressured or deterred. Once that has happened, then think about 'other guys' and such. Be responsible. Look where it got you when you weren't the last time. Stuck in a marriage you never wanted.

Chin up and learn from all this. But do what is right. End your marriage yesterday.

[Heratriumphant]

Forget about men all together for a while!

Sister you need to grow a spine and find your own direction in life, at the moment you like a piece of drift wood being tossed around by the whims and wills of the men in your life.

Where's your will? When do you get to make the decisions? When do you get to be in charge?

You only have one life, and trust me the view is better from the drivers seat.

[cmacattack1]

Marriage is such a significant and important decision, and yet half of them end in failure and the ugliness after is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

You have to honest with how you feel. That is what you have to always, always do when you are involved with a serious relationship. No matter what your husband said to you, it didn't change how you felt, but you made the mistake of doing it anyway maybe just to temporarily fix things but it got you into some serious serious consequences. The longer it went on the worse you got, don't you agree? What makes you think that continuing to do that will work?

Do you even love the new guy? Or are you so desparate for an escape from this marriage you seem "hopelessly" bound to that you needed him to help you get out of this? You need to be on your own to really sort out your feelings, what you want, and stand on your own two feet. You've been hanging on to relationships your whole life it seems to me and it's gotten you nowhere but misery.

Stop sulking and feeling like a victim here when you have brought everything upon yourself more or less. You have to take responsibility for your actions and not expect somebody else to "save" you from this. You've been running and depending on others long enough. It's time to face the music.