A Crush, a Girl, a Date - How To Ask?

[mrtiger]

Hello everyone, I'm a boy(18 years old) and have wanted a relationship for quite some time now, but insecurities and other causes has been holding me back. Ive become much better with those insecurities and they are not a barrier anymore.

Ive been working with this girl every other week for the past 6 months, she is friendly, interesting and gorgeous. I would give my left arm to get a date with her. Seeing her every other week has only given me the opportunity to talk with her for short periods of time, and I was attracted to her at first but have only just begun to have a crush on her during the Christmas holidays due to working with her on more shifts.
I have been receiving some signs from her, but as I am really bad at this I haven't acted on them due to being scared of rejection and scaring her away(I know this might sound stupid but read on).

Another colleague has been wanted to be with her ( asked if he could come over by text, consistently tried to meet up with her though she has politely answered, between the lines, no. ) He is a couple of years older than her and me as well. And this weekend a complete stranger had asked for her and he asked for her phone number (this guy was several years older, 24+), she rejected him(apparently he knew her name from beforehand, since he asked for her and knew her name, and she did not wear her name batch that day)

My thoughts have been that I would make her feel even more uncomfortable at work if I would ask her out, since if she would reject me it could create a awkward tension between us. But as I write this it actually doesn't make any sense to me it would.

So basically I'm at the same age as her, we attend different schools but work together every other week. She started after Christmas eve to show some interest in me(as I have felt it) and has been talking to me about her two "stalkers". She also mentioned when her and another colleague(girl, they are good friends) and me was alone, that she missed someone to hug at lonely nights .

That was a long story but now to my point. I have decided I will be asking her out this week, but I have a few options and I don't know which one would best.

I should have asked her out this weekend but I became very unsure of how she would response after that second stalker asked her.

1. I could call her tonight or tomorrow(we havent been speaking over the phone or texting yet, but I can find her number on the list of employers which we uses for shift changes).
2. I could catch her on her shift during the weekdays and ask her out in person.
3. I could wait until the weekend where we will been attending a company party.

I have a hard time thinking of anything else and would really like to see her this week, before the company party in the weekend, if she has the time for it. But I will not rush anything if my way of asking would be the cause of a rejection.

I feel that she might prefer to be asked out in person and my chances might be better. But I, as I said earlier, wouldn't want her to feel followed at work so maybe I should wait till the weekend.

I would like to hear your thoughts on my situation and what you think I should do.

Thanks!

The Student

[lonelyhamster]

To tell the truth, I'm not an expert in this area. As a matter of fact, I've never truly asked a girl out before (call me a coward); things just happened between my girlfriend and me.
However, I do think that the best solution would be to ask her out in person. Possibly just at the end of one of her shifts. Just take the first (appropriate) opportunity you have to ask her in person, be it during her shift or at the party, because if you don't take the opportunity when it arises you will regret it. I know from experience. From the information you provided, it seems to me that she is indeed interested in you and will most likely accept a date.

[Glith]

Like Mr Hamster above, I've never asked a girl out in my life. I've been lucky (for an average looking guy) that I've obviously attracted plenty of women who see me for the coward I am and make the first move themselves. Having bounded from long relationship to long relationship the past few times, I've not even had much chance to ask a woman out for a long time. Nowadays I think I'd be ok, if a little cautious. When I was younger though (around your age) I was far too shy and self conscious to approach somebody I was attracted to.
You need to get past that as soon as you can Mr Tiger, it'll only hold you back.

It does sound like this girl likes you judging by the hints, but then we don't see the full picture. Your best bet is to ask her in person. You can go one of two routes. Tell her you're going to a bar after work (or any other activity) and invite her along. This way you're not actually asking her on a date as such, so it will be easier for you both if she isn't interested. The problem there is that if she is interested in you, she may not know where she stands. The second option is to go for broke and ask her on a date. Be confident, don't act as though your life depends on it, and if you get a knockback just accept the fact that throughout your life you'll be attracted to hundreds of women, and there will be plenty who feel the same way. You've just got to find the right ones

[someone3]

as a girl, i know i'd prefer if a guy asked me out in person. it doesn't have to be anything that elaborate. maybe to get ice cream, go to the movies, go bowling or something like that..
sounds like she could be interested in u but if not i don't think it should mean things have to be awkward between you two. i've had guys i've worked with ask me out and even after i turned them down (politely i hope. i always try) remained friends with them. whether she likes you or not she'll be flattered u asked. i think the main reason things become awkward over situations like this is if you start acting that way. i was worried things would be awkward when i turned a guy down at work but when he was understanding and didn't act weird around me i was very glad to remain friends with him. There's a chance she likes you too so i say give it a shot! good luck