I have a unique issue... ?

[Cherie]

My problem:
I'm falling out of 'love' with my bf. (I say 'love' because I don't think I loved him but he tells me that he loves me daily.)

I'm in highschool and he's 3 grades older than me, but that never stopped or intimidated me before. I've never been the annoying, clingy gf because that's not really my style but over the last few weeks, I've just found myself purposely avoiding spending time with him. Now, I'm not a super-frigid bee-otch, nor am I high maintenance. I'm actually getting used to not being single (it's pretty new to me) but we've been together about 2 months now and I've been trying to attribute this weird phase of disinterest to the stress of upcoming finals, but I'm pretty sure that I'm lying to myself. I like hanging with my girlfriends and acting like I'm single more than I currently like hanging out with him. I don't have an excess of time out of school because I'm a self-proclaimed fine arts freak but I thought we really connected. It's just that lately, his quirks and oddities have stopped being endearing and more embarrassing; what used to be sweet is now clingy; what used to be sensitive is now oppressive. He's introduced me to his parents already and he's met my parents, we've kissed, it feels like we're in a little bit more emotionally involved than what is considered reasonable for the time period we've actually been together.

My friend asked me to make a list of major things about him that I don't like, but tell myself that I do. We said if it got up to 5, I was definitely in trouble. I got up to 4.

I just don't want to hurt him too badly and I'm trying to see if I should just suck it up for the next 5 months (until he graduates) or if I should reap the consequences and just endure the awkwordness of ending the relationship by growing a pair. Anyone want to guide me? He's really sweet and I just don't want to hurt him too badly...

[Gigabitch]

The honeymoon is over, that's all. Love is what's left after infatuation fades and in high school, real love is pretty unusual. There's no reason to feel bad about it- it's just run it's course. it doesn't mean you have to break up with him immediately, but you must know this relationship isn't going anywhere.

[cmacattack1]

This is not really a unique issue. I know we are unique individuals and no relationship situation is one hundred percent the same, but we are more or less the same in our behavior and actions. Just to let you know.

You've been with a guy for two months and you are "falling out of love" already. How do you know that it was love in the first place? Love is something that grows more deeply over time as you get to know somebody and feel that connection.

You sound like you are an intellegent girl and are in tune with your feelings. But what you are doing is not being honest with how you felt. Like you mentioned before you were trying to lie to yourself but see it for what it is, he is becoming to needy and clingy and you are turned off by that. While he should pick up that you are purposely avoiding it, too often are we caught up in our emotions to think about it logically and pay attention to these signs. That's why you have to be up front with how you feel and let him know. He's not a mind reader, but something should click when your actions and words match up.

I wouldn't base your relationship on your friend's scale of one to five. It's important and it helps to identify these things, but there is no number or guidelines or rules that should dictate how each relationship should begin or end (well besides cheating, that is a pretty obvious one).

I know you don't want to hurt his feelings, but if you "suck it up" and wait five months, you are going to resent him more and it's going to hurt him more anyway. If you really care about him let him know how you feel, everything you told us here and take it from there. Not being honest, letting the things and resentment build up is just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.

[IncognitoSir]

As cmacattack stated, this inst a unique situation, but you do need to do the right thing and break it off with him immediately. If you know you're not feeling him like that anymore, why continue to lead him on like this? Would you like to be lead on the way you're leading him on? The longer you fake this realtionship, the worst its ultimately going to end, and trust me it will end. Not to mention, youre in high school! Both of you need to be enjoying the hell outta life right about now, life is toooo short, dont waste it. Even though you're only in high school you have to realize this is a responsibility you carry in all relationships.....honesty.....even a high school relationship.