question about the ex-girlfriend

[today]

We've been together two years, he was together with his ex two years as well. Had a break of two years before he met me.

In the beginning he mentioned her quite a lot, perhaps the first two months. Not in a particularly great way, just spoke about her. He has never put her down when he has spoken of her, but the things he has said has just given an impression he thought they were not meant to be together and that he used to "calm her down a 1000 times" and that he used to do everything when they lived together (no kids!).

It is as if she has had problems letting go. For instance she has contacted him a lot both online (although he never is online...) and on the phone. In the beginning it didn't bother me - and he also started not answering back - months could pass by.

Then he suddenly heard from one of his friends who had bumped into her - that she was really "disappointed" with him! She put out pictures of them, tagging them, where he held her - happy pictures from when they were together.
It's been almost a year now where he hasn't had contact with her. And I have told him how she comments about our life (because I'm still online ) whenever someone mentions something about us or tags pictures of us.

He helped her during the time after their breakup because she met someone just 3 days after they broke up! - and this relationship didn't last so "she didn't have others to turn to". He has also said that she acted strange the last time he saw her (about a year ago) as "if they were still together" and had said they were more close than he might think...

It's actually begun to bother me, and it annoys me! I have of course shared this with him. He gets in this "thinking mode", saying he understands me. He asked if he should delete his profile because it would be no problem, I said I didn't want him to do that.
Somehow it still gets to me - although he has been quite convincing.

He said about a year ago he had no romantic feelings for her but she still meant something to him. I said I was not happy with them still speaking when it felt as if she was still interested in him.
He kept pictures of her but when we moved and I was going through everything the pictures were gone. He might have thrown them out - or what.

I don't know how to completely get this out of my head.
It feels as if he is willing to help me with this no matter what it takes.
Should I be as concerned as I am?
what could I do to let this go?

[MissAnn]

It doesn't sound to me like you should be concerned at all. He is clearly not pursuing any contact with her and is willing to work to make you feel comfortable about the situation. He can't help it if she is acting inappropriate. If anything, it should make you feel proud that you have such a good guy that his ex would want him back! Also, he obviously can tell the ex still has feelings. If he wanted to be with her instead of you he would be.

Did you have any previous relationships? Often when I feel threatened by someone's exes I think about my own.

[iateyourcookie]

You don't have to worry about him at all at the looks of this. Although I might suggest you keep an eagle eye out of his ex.

[today]

thank you thats what I think as well on good and realistic days. We went to the dump the other day and I actually saw the pictures among the things he threw out!!

Do you have any suggestions to how we could stop her from commenting on everything without him having to delete his acount? Should I just relax instead. thats what I've seemingly done so far hoping she would get tired of that and go on with her own life

[SirWagginston]

Is it like a Facebook account? Why not just block her?

[Dogtoast]

she sounds kind of crazy to be honest with you...at least her facebook actions seem kinda "over the top" in regards to her posts about him and her.

[today]

It would be easy to block her - I only worry that would trigger her even more (as silence has seemed to do so far) plus she would know that it is not HIS style...

I might not be so afraid to lose him, more really annoyed of her behaviour. It somehow feels as if it puts me in a bad light among those of his friends, relatives, mutual friends who see this.

what is acceptable behaviour? how much over the limit should things be before you do something about it? those are my thoughts this very moment.
And then I think about those people who is being watched and followed by more than just one person.