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Thread: Age gap, younger guy

  1. #1
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    Age gap, younger guy

    Opinions and thoughts please:
    I am a 24 year old guy, who has been seeing a 34 year old for about 2 years. I am a long-haul airline pilot, and have been since before we met, so we see each other for a couple of weeks every 2-3 months, or for a day or two if I fly to a destination nearby. We spent 10 weeks together in the last year.

    When we met, we didn't speak a common language, but we had enough fun that I bought a book and learnt a language so I could speak to her, to the point where I now speak pretty fluently and communicating isn't a problem.

    She has a 7 year old daughter, that I have been kept pretty separate from, so as not to complicate things for her.

    Last night I spoke with her and said I don't think I should see her anymore, because I can't give her what she wants/needs ie. see her more often, move in with her, marriage, kids etc. I do want to do the kids family thing one day, but feel guilty having her hang around waiting for me for the next few years. She said that's not for me to decide, and that she would do anything for me.

    Due to the age gap, I have played down to my friends the significance of her to me, though if the age gap were the other way around I would have no hesitation.

    So, am I doing the right thing? Am I breaking up with her only because of what other people think?

    On the one hand, I think it's too early for me and I need to play around longer, on the other I feel I could look forever and not find anyone I got on with so well.

  2. #2
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    it sounds like you are making the right decision. you're obviously not in love. you want to grow more and experience life a bit more before committing. deep down she knows this. i'm 33 and i recently let down a 24 yr old gently due to the fact that i knew he was too young to settle and i of course don't want a fleeting romance, i want something meaningful. i've discovered i am a romantic and want the right guy. deep down she wants the same. the fact that you keep her out of your social life says it all really.
    Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching

  3. #3
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    Thanks for the reply. To be clear, it's more to do with the fact I'm a bit worried about what my friends would say rather than the fact I wouldn't want her there with my friends. Significant issue nonetheless I suppose.
    Thanks again

  4. #4
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    vashti is offline Hot love muffin guru
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    A lot of your friends might be impressed that you were able to keep the atention of an older woman.

    Personally, I would be more concerned about her developing deep feelings for you if you don't reciprocate them.

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