My girlfriend is mad at me beccause im always busy?

[HiMyNameisNick]

ok so im 16 and she 17, weve been dating for almost 7 months. and EVERY single time I have something to do on the weekend she gets upset with me and says "ofcourse you have something better to do". But its not like im ditching her for my friends because I would prefer to hang out with her instead of them anyways. honestly the only thing I want to do is spend time with her.

But here is where the problems come in; I am an EXTREMEMLY busy person I have wrestling practice everyday, jujitsu twice a week, wrestling tournaments every saturday, Im taking 3 AP classes so Im overwhelmed with homework.

AND on top of all that stuff I have going on, I still manage to hang out with her TWICE during the week plus atleast 1 day on weekends.......but it seems like she doesnt appreciate it at all. I have to kill myself in school to get enough work done to be able to see her during the week, and she expetcs me to do that for her, so she is not appreciative of it.

I think the problem is that she has nothing to do with her time, she does no sports, no clubs, she has maybe 10 minutes of homework a night......

But its not fair because she always gets mad at me..... but im trying to build a strong future for myself with all the sports and schooling I do, but its like im being punished for doing the right thing because whenever im not with her im "doing the wrong thing"

[azilin]

Your GF is insecure, self-absorbed, possessive and ungrateful. As busy as you are, I doubt you're going to have the time to work with her on these issues, and even if you did, she's probably not willing to work on them.

My GF's 15 year old daughter recently dropped her boyfriend over just this issue -- he wanted to spend more time with her, couldn't understand why not, and he wasn't serious about his studies or his future. It was a painful and difficult decision but was necessary for her integrity. I respect her principled approach to dating and relationships -- and this was her first relationship. She'll go places in life with that kind of focus and commitment.

You may face a decision like this yourself, ultimately. You deserve to be involved with supportive, mindful people. Especially at this stage of your life where the focus needs to be on school, not romance. Romance is secondary at this point in your life; it's all about having fun, learning about women ... and it should be relaxing. You shouldn't be knocking yourself out and then getting s__t for thanks. And you sure don't want an early relationship forming your taste and expectations of women in this way.

The only hope is probably a frank conversation about what you need from a relationship at this point in your life. But my guess is she'll probably turn it around and make it all about her. You can do way better than that. Let the chips fall where they may.

[lahnnabell]

I agree with azilin. I'm sure if you girlfriend were just as involved in her own life then you wouldn't be having these discussions constantly. She'd be able to empathize with just how busy you are and how important your other priorities are. It's fine to make time for a girlfriend, but in the end, YOU are going to be what matters most. Taking care of yourself now is a great way to start off your adult life.

[TheWizard]

Azilin said it all - I would tell her what's up and then move on if she can't handle it. Don't let her insecurities bring you down.

[MVPlaya]

Stay strong, work hard. Btw, I was the same way in high school, I was loaded up on the APs/honors and I had wrestling tournaments every week (172 weight category, then 189 my senior year). No matter what happens, you building a future for yourself is much more important and rewarding than dropping everything just for her.

You could explain to her, without making it sound at all like an argument, that you want to hang out with her, but you have so little time on the week and you try to see her as much as you can. But if she doesn't change her tone ever, you can do one of two things:

1) Decide despite the annoying comments that you still want to be with this girl, and just ignore the snide remarks.

or

2) Break up with her because its not working for you.

I can't make that last call for you. But do whats right for you, you sound like you've got your shit figured out.