Why do straight guys touch my arm?! WTF

[Graham Berkeley]

This sounds weird but it happens often enough for my friends to notice... Every time I go to a bar an unusual number of other dudes will tap/touch me on the arm/shoulder when walking by me or asking me a question. These are straight guys btw... Typically other "dominant" males. WTF is up with this? It happened so many times last night that both the women I was with took notice.

[Tallgeese]

that's actually pretty common, especially in loud crowded bars, for guys to tap your arm/shoulder to walk by or get your attention.

[ecojeanne]

maybe they're closet

[Tallgeese]

OP, would you rather they tap you on the shoulder or come within inches of your face to ask you to move?

[Graham Berkeley]

No its just when I was like 21-22 they didn't do that. I notice its a certain type of guy who does it too. I'm thinking its one of those animal instinctual things. "I am acknowledging you as another dominant male and communicating that i am not challenging you."

[TheWizard]

it's fairly common nowadays, if you're being touched a lot on that particular night I would say a lot of those guys found you attractive and were trying to get your attention. Generally speaking it's better to touch someone on the arm then on the stomach or head or something when you don't know them... could be worse

[Graham Berkeley]

...those guys found you attractive and were trying to get your attention...

Straight guys?

[MVPlaya]

No its just when I was like 21-22 they didn't do that. I notice its a certain type of guy who does it too. I'm thinking its one of those animal instinctual things. "I am acknowledging you as another dominant male and communicating that i am not challenging you."

Haha. No.



The reason a lot of guys make physical contact and large dominant movements is to show that they are confident and in control. It doesn't have to be a challenge to another male, more often its the same thing as the guy who sucks in his stomach, sticks out his chest, and puts his shoulders back, he's using body language to convey status.

You see the exact same principle in so many ways: guys who talk loudly and scream WOOOHOOOO, guys who great eachother with a big elaborate bro-hug or something other, guys who just make exaggerated movements in general when they party.

[Gigabitch]

I agree with Playa's assessment.

[TheWizard]

Straight guys?

My bad dude, I read it and thought it was a female as the original poster. My advice is void - Playa has it right. Honest mistake on my part!

[reeges]

i think Tallgeese (awesome name, epic show) has a point - a loud setting its probably just to get your attention.
as for why it didn't happen when you were younger - there could be thousands of reasons - quieter bar, less tactful barmates, maybe you just weren't as observant.
i wouldn't read too much into it.

[IncognitoSir]

g deal bro. most guys do it just to be curdious. i do it when I need to get by a guy. it's like "hey, i need to walk by you and i dont wanna bump bodies with you to do it ok" lol