She can't yet.

**-=Wonder=-** · 18-01-10, 12:06 PM

So, well, hello everyone.

First of all, let me start by saying I'm french so some grammar error might occur throughout the post (:

So I won't say directly my age or the age of the girl... lets just say I am older than her by about 3 years.

The girl who I am having trouble with: She's, again, three years or so younger than me (although age is only a number for me). Personality wise she speaks her mind; apparently does not fall for guys easily. She is honest, and she can take, if I can say, guys joke without being offended but will actually laugh along.

Me: I hmm so, I love sport. I believe in treating girls... hmm how to say... in a very good way (being a gentleman..)... I have a tendency to overreact. I speak my mind as I cannot keep a problem inside me, I have to talk about it. Errr what else, I can be a tiny jealous but I do not control anyone as I believe you should treat other based on how you would want to be treated.

Now the story:

I've been friend with her for what... 6 months, finally asked her out and all, we were going out until what... yesterday? for about two weeks. Thing is, she does not feel ready for a boyfriend ( I totally understand). In no way I want to push her into a relationship because after all I don't want her to be unhappy with me.

My question is this, I love her and could wait for her as I really do not mind waiting, but I have a hard time trusting girls. She says she loves me and will still love me if I still talk to her when she will be ready ( she gives it a year or so). I talked to her about it. What bothers me is the fact that over a year a person do change and that her feeling might change although, she said that her feelings won't change but then again, I have a hard time trusting girl and I just want to get a general opinion on this.

The other little problem on my side is that, I would stay open minded for other girls that would cross my path although, I am a person who is either fully involve or not at all. Meaning, I love this girl and getting over her would take time for me, I could say a lot of time ( I know myself in the end haha). Thus, meeting other girl or waiting for her, this is where I am stuck. I can't do both really, its something I cannot do, its against what I "believe" in.

Anyway to make a short story I am wondering if i should wait for her and BELIEVE her or just get over her as I will not have a lot of chance ending up with her.

**vashti** · 18-01-10, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by -=Wonder=-

Anyway to make a short story I am wondering if i should wait for her and BELIEVE her or just get over her as I will not have a lot of chance ending up with her.

it depends on how old you are... if you are young, then no - don't wait around. The love feelings of a young person come and go like the wind.

If you are 50, then you might want to wait.

**-=Wonder=-** · 18-01-10, 12:17 PM

Hmmm thing is , I consider myself more mature for my age. To answer your question, no I'm not 50 ~ Don't make me feel old haha ~ But in the end, even if a girl promise you or keeps telling you that she will still be able to be with you in a year or so, I shouldn't believe her, right?

Errr It is hard in the end... one said of me tells me to wait and the other one just tells me to get on. Though... I do not know which one is logic and which one is my emotions...

**vashti** · 18-01-10, 12:43 PM

No offense, but I rarely meet a young person who doesn't think they are mature for their age, but anyway, it doesn't matter. This is a situation for which experience counts more than maturity.

I think you should date around for the next year, and if you both happen to be available in one year's time, you can revisit whether or not you are still interested.

In other words, don't wait.

**-=Wonder=-** · 18-01-10, 01:08 PM

Well for being mature, we can pass on discussing this as it is not the place, but lets say I had lot of life experience that not a lot of young people went through.

And yah thanks for your input, although I believe I am a hopeless romantic which does not help me much; but thank you (:

**IncognitoSir** · 18-01-10, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by -=Wonder=-

Well for being mature, we can pass on discussing this as it is not the place, but lets say I had lot of life experience that not a lot of young people went through.

And yah thanks for your input, although I believe I am a hopeless romantic which does not help me much; but thank you (:

ok, lets be real. If you were as mature as you say you are, you would have posted the ages already, whats the big secret for anyway? I dont think you should wait anyways, do you really wanna be on reserve for someone who MAY be intrested in you in a years time? I wouldnt do it personally.

**shheadz** · 18-01-10, 01:51 PM

A year is a very long time to wait for someone. I know people take breaks from dating, and relationships, but a year is a long time. Has she said why she wants to wait so long?

**-=Wonder=-** · 18-01-10, 06:00 PM

Because she has gone through a lot this past year and she does not know if she wants something serious yet... Yesterday she told me she is really confuse and does not know if she wants a "serious" relationship.

**-=Wonder=-** · 18-01-10, 06:04 PM

Heh well she said she does not know if she wants a serious relationship yet.

And for the age, I think I am not force to give out any number. We will keep it at I am under the age of 25

Sorry for the double post, apparently the last one didn't show fast enough...

**girl68** · 18-01-10, 11:39 PM

Don't wait.

**irrelevant_89** · 19-01-10, 02:16 AM

^ Honestly, not waiting sounds a bit douchey to me, like "you don't give me what I want so I'm outta here". I know I'm wrong, but why?

**lovesjoyajm** · 19-01-10, 02:48 AM

Originally Posted by -=Wonder=-

And for the age, I think I am not force to give out any number. We will keep it at I am under the age of 25

I knew it! I didn't have your identity figured out until you told me your approximate age, but now I have no doubt.

Anyway, I don't think there's ANYTHING "douchey" about not waiting. She wants to maybe date in a year, so next year you can reevaluate the situation, but in that time why would you just sit around and let opportunities pass you by?

**vashti** · 19-01-10, 03:02 AM

Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm

I knew it! I didn't have your identity figured out until you told me your approximate age, but now I have no doubt.

Anyway, I don't think there's ANYTHING "douchey" about not waiting. She wants to maybe date in a year, so next year you can reevaluate the situation, but in that time why would you just sit around and let opportunities pass you by?

Is this someone we all know? Or just you?

**girl68** · 19-01-10, 03:08 AM

Putting your life on hold to maybe get the opprotunity to date her is well silly. So many things can arise in a year and "waiting" means you're going to pass up those opprotunities.

**coco10** · 19-01-10, 03:08 AM

Dear Mr Wonder...If a girl says that she is not ready to have a boyfriend yet this means that she doesn't love you or at least she is not sure about the way she feels towards you..
Maybe she didn't want to hurt you by saying it is over..that's why she said she's not ready for a boyfriend...
In my opinion if you love someone you are ready to do anything just to be with him.
I think it would be better if you forget about her and look for someone who is ready to be with you no matter what..
There's a lot of fish in the sea and there must another woman for you.

PS: je comprends le français si tu peux t'exprimer mieux en français qu'en anglais ça sera mieux!

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