Mission impossible? really would like several opinions

[structure]

Okay, I’ll tell you from the get go this a long *** post, I’m not very good at summarizing and always want to include all the details.

The story starts with a girl I saw in a class in summer 2008. I’m not gonna lie, I was immediately attracted to her, and wanted what any guy wants with a girl he thinks is hot. However I’m pretty shy and I couldn’t think of a way to introduce myself to her. However as time went on, I noticed things about her that made her seem different to me then any other girl. First she wasn’t one of those girls that was always texting, asking stupid questions to the professors, or even flirting with any of the guys in class. She came in, always sat in the front row, put her glasses on and paid attn the entire class period. I should have asked her then if she would like to study for a test or something but like I said I was pretty shy, so never said anything to her.

Fast forward to Fall 2008, she is in another one of my classes. This time I manage to talk to her one day when class was leaving, saying something like she was in my stats class (which was a small class, around 30 students) and what she grade she ended up with, blah blah blah. I found her name and added her as a friend on facebook. She never came to my fall 08 class much, so throughout that semester we talked occasionally on facebook. I found out she was the same major as me, she wants to become a doctor. But other then that not much, she seemed very closed. This may seem stalkerish but through facebook it seemed she only hung out with a very tight circle of friends. Again I never manged to ask her if she wanted to study for the class we had together or something. Anyways, start of spring 09, I asked her one day (yes, sadly on facebook again) what she ended up getting in that class we had. She said she barely passed and she changed her majors, she doenst know what she wants to do in her life.

My roommate said this was the prefect opportunity to ask her if she wanted to go out for coffee sometime and talk. Which after much peer pressure, I did. Of course, on facebook since I did not have her number. She never replied. I lost any confidence I had since then. I saw her quite a few times on campus since then, but every time I did my best to ignore her due to panic and embarrassment to face her. Summer 09 I found out she has a boyfriend, which surprisingly went to the same high school as my roommate. They didn’t know each other that well, but according my roommate is pretty damn surprising they are dating cuz her boyfriend doest seem her type at all.

Well anyways, its now spring 2010. I come to find out she’s in one of my classes, which I thought was weird, since her major was completely different. Anyways, the 2nd day of class, I managed to approach her and she either did recognize me or pretended to. Either way, we talked briefly, found out that the major she changed to wasn’t for her either and she’s back in our old field to give it another go.

At this point, I just want to be her friend. I have no intention of being a “homewrecker” though sometimes the thought does cross my mind, what if her and her boyfriend weren’t meant to be. Anyone one seen wedding crashers? Like Owen Wilson and Rachael mcadams.

Anyways, at this point I just wanna get to know her more personally and just hang out with her. She seems she’s not sure who she is and what she really wants in life. Basically I just wanna spend some time with this girl, I have no intention of doing anything intimate or get between her and her boyfriend. I just want to be her friend right now, I don’t why I haven’t been able to get my mind off of this girl. She just intrigues me in every way. A lot of people doubt a guy can accomplish this role, because sometime down the line he’s going to want more. I may not have confidence to talk to girls but I’ve positive I can handle a role as a friend and will not ask or want more.

Thoughts, opinions, ideas on my situation please? I’ve only seen her that one day in class, since then we’d had a pretty long break due to holidays. My next step I would like to do is try to sit next to her in class, idk if I’ll be able to. Almost had a heart attack just trying to bring myself to talk to her the first time, lol. Even if I manage to sit next to her, I have no idea what to say, and what she’ll think. It haunts me knowing that she read that coffee message and never replied and now she might be thinking this guy is trying to get at her again. After that year long break I had from her, I had given up on her till now. fate?

[girl68]

don't post the same thing twice.

[cmacattack1]

You like her and when it comes down to it, you would rather be with her instead of not being with her while she is with her boyfriend. You don't want to be a homewrecker, but if you know she'll be happier with you, you are doing her a favor right?

Don't listen and do what your friends say to do. They told you to message her on facebook to do something sometime. That's lame and does not scream any confidence. I know you didn't run into her often and you think about her alot, but if you don't see her no worries. If you do, make the most of the situation. I know you are shy, I am too. There was this girl I liked and I totally ruined it by coming on too strong when my friends told me to. Do what works for you, do what feels natural and I know you are shy but for most girls its cute.

You say you want to get to know her better and not much else but she doesn't know that. She sees that you friend her on facebook, message her to hang out, and yet you just want to be friends? Most girls know when a guy is trying to pick them up and that kind of action probably clicked on her radar. If she had a boyfriend she was serious about, she would ignore you.

[eggnbacon]

Hey Dude,

I would say leave this girl alone and let her go. She has a boyfriend for one thing, and if she wasn't happy with him, she probably wouldn't be with him.

Secondly, it's doing you more damage than good to hold onto a fantasy that you might be able to be friends with her. You said yourself that you have anxiety about the 'coffee' thing on facebook - the dynamics have already changed. She knows you were interested and will forever have that as one of her first impressions of you. If you ended up being friends with her you'd most likely just get really hurt or waste your time.

Let her go, seriously... for your own good.

Kind regards,

-Egg