Hit a brick wall.

[FrailWings]

Right guys, i've been feeling fine, for a week or 2. Well, i say fine, obviously not 100% because of the break up, but i've been able to look to the future, and just put things behind me. However, today and yesterday, i feel like i've hit a brick wall. I've just started feeling down, starting to really miss my ex, like i did in the first week we broke up. Going as far as nearly contacting her, to which i DIDN'T do.

It's been 3 weeks today that we broke up, and a week since we've spoken. I know i need to hold this NC, and try and move on. But i just feel extremely down at the minute, i can't seem to shake this off, and get her out of my head. All these thoughts are racing through my head, convincing me she was the one for me. I feel like i'm really missing her. The things i've done to shake this off, and put a smile back on my face, aren't working anymore. I basically feel like sh*t. And that by doing NC, i'm destroying any miniscule chance there is of getting back together. I'm confused, and feeling really down.

[Gigabitch]

In the timeline of a heartbreak, three weeks is a pretty crucial landmark. The shock has worn off and now you have to start the difficult task of rebuilding your life while you still have the big hole in your heart.

I've done this before. In another three weeks, it will be so much better, you might even feel like socializing. Just get through this hard part. You can do it.

[cmacattack1]

No you aren't. NC is actually making your chance of getting back together stronger. The longer you are out of sight, the more you both are able to heal and remember the good times as the bad memories fade away. We always want to look back and remember the good times not the bad ones.

Remember what we've all told you. She chose to break up with you and you constantly popping up when the hurt memories still linger will bring that pain back and further hammer the point that what she did in dumping you was a good decision. There is nothing you can do or say to bring her back, and since you still want her in your life, you should think of that and what you do could now could lose that in the future. You shouldn't do anything in terms of contacting your ex, remember that.

You have a lot going for you and you have other options out there. You should pursue them, as shitty as you feel, because it will make you feel better. We all hit these rough patches and you have to push through them yourself without her help. I do too man. It's been three months since I talked to my ex and the last three nights in the row I've had dreams about her and they all involved the closure talk. Imagine how badly I want to have that talk or talk to her. But it doesn't bother me because I truly believe that I cannot do anything and only can talk to her when she wants to talk to me.

You will go through ups and downs and you can't cave when you hit those downs because you will be back to square one and feel like you broke up again. Keep doing what you are doing: getting out there, meeting new people and hanging with new people, posting on here, anything that will help you feel better.

[FrailWings]

Yeah, i've left communication doors open in terms, of not blocking her on Facebook, and Msn. I don't know whether i should do that now or not. But it's been a week of NC.

I feel for you cmacattack1, but this is probably your lowest point, if you can truly get through this, you'll get through anything. That's what i'm trying to tell myself as well.

[Gigabitch]

NC is your friend.

[pinkinterlude]

Im at almost the same point as you. 3 weeks on friday, and barely any contact for 2 weeks (except fri and sat but he initated it).
Ive gone out with my friends on a friday night, which I find helps, even though Im not really in the mood to socialise and I dont want to find anyone else. I'll be honest I dont want anyone else other than him, but it definately does help, and it gives me something to look forward to. You feel as if you've got your own plans and that you dont feel the need to rely on them.
Just try and make some plans with friends and focus on something else. I know its hard, and sometimes I feel as though I'm going insane just thinking about him, but by no contact, she will miss you if she cared about you, and she'll probably be questionning whether breaking things off was the best thing to do. I know thats what I'm doing now.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
xxxx

[FrailWings]

Pinkinterlude, was it you who broke it off?

NC, is indeed my friend, and anyone that is going through this. I'm trying to just get my life back on track. I'm doing things i wouldn't do, when i was with my ex, which is making me meet more people etc. I just miss the times we shared at the minute. I know in time, i'll be able to get over it. But when your on a downer, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[pinkinterlude]

It's quite complicated. I did cos he admitted he wasnt over his ex, but I kinda knew towards the end. I spoke to him about it after he admitted it, he didnt want us to end but I thought how can I carry on with someone who isnt over someone else. I kind of felt second best, though I know he didnt mean for me too.

Its sad cos we never argued, this was our only issue. He told me that I was helping him get over her and that he didnt want to be with her anymore, he was just beginning to mourn the end of their relationship (she ended by text, refused to speak to him so obvsiously he was torn up and was angry with her), but that he had gotten past that and was able to remember their good times.

This made me confused cos I never want us split up but thought I was doing the right thing. I felt so down so I told him when he was ready I still wanted to be with him. I dont know if this has confused things even more. but at the minute I think he just needs time. He has said he needs time to sort his head out so I guess the break up was mutual really. I know hes stuggling as much as me though cos of when he rings me etc. and its shameful cos everytime he does, I get this dream of us getting back together when in reality it may never happen.

I kinda feel stuck, in limbo at the minute, I dont want to move on but I know I should. these past three weeks have felt like forever, and this year has not started off well at all. Its sad cos I thought we'd be together for a long while. Im just trying to accept everything and hope that if its meant to be then it will be. Everything was so perfect apart from this. My emotions are so up and down at the minute too but I know that will get better over time.

Like I said, try concentrating on other things, easier said than done I know, though cry when you want to, wallow when you want to. Its not good to just hold it all in. Its nice talking on here too, kind of a release. But try and go out and do things you love beacuse that will give you something to look forward and is something you can do on your own.
xxxx

[FrailWings]

I think you done the right thing, he needs time to get his head sorted. If he loves you, and if he values the relationship, he'll come back. But he'll come back ready, and over his ex. Regardless of what happens, you'll either look back on the relationship not being in it, and with someone else, or with him. Either way you'll be happy.

Yeah, doing things you love takes your mind off things, my friends have helped me alot, going out etc, just taking my mind off things. It's helped me value what i have besides her. Although in an ideal world, we'd be together, but somethings aren't ideal, and i guess, there's always someone else out. Just need to stay positive, which at times, is the hardest thing to do.

[FrailWings]

I've got a new phone, and therefore a new phone number. Which my ex doesn't know. Should i text her my new number, or just not bother?

[Gigabitch]

NC says no texting.

[FrailWings]

So, i shouldn't just send her the one text, with my number? Because i'm going to send all my contacts my number, so i should just leave her out?

[shheadz]

Why would you give your number to someone that you're not supposed to be involved with anymore?

[FrailWings]

True, i figured giving her my number, would allow that door to be open for communication, but i suppose i have msn + facebook, so if she needed me, she could make contact via that method.

[Gigabitch]

DO NOT give her your number. NC is NC.