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Thread: Why is my bf starting to INSULT me ? Because other girls want him ? Run Screaming awa

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Why is my bf starting to INSULT me ? Because other girls want him ? Run Screaming awa

    I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 9 months
    We're mid distance right now (he lives 2 hours away)
    All that will change when I move to his city in March for new job and other friends.

    Everything was going well until mid October.
    But I noticed the slightest shift in attitude towards me.

    I recently found out the following from a mutual friend who showed me my boyfriend's emails to him.

    (the friend has known me for 6 years and my bf for only 1 year , so his loyalty lies with me and NOT the 'bro code')

    My bf emailed him in mid october that Im cool , but that i was trying to 'wrangle' him in.

    My bf also disclosed in another email that a few girls from his past had made contact.
    One girl he said was just a friend, but that she was an 'attractive Russian' ... he joked how the girl must be crushing on him because she compared him to Edward Cullen in twilight via a text.
    He said the 'stars aligned' and she is a good friend... hmm.

    Next up two girls who had left him previously for their ex bfs came back and started making contact with him again.
    1 is rather weird and no threat.
    the other girl though is a super rich and thin, attractive lawyer. major threat.

    Anyway our mutual friend said he felt guilty with all this information after he saw a photo of me on facebook with my boyfriend and thought i looked 'sad and alone' in the pic.
    I DONT know what do with this knowledge I m now privy to.

    Anyway, I'm afraid his change in behavior coincides perfectly with these other women coming back into his life.

    He used to refer to me as a charming lovely French girl who likes to frolic.

    When we were talking the other night I referred to myself as that.
    He was mean and said oh yes there are girls like that but what about you.
    He then said he was being funny, but it hurt.

    Other things:
    - Im a redhead and he now keeps calling me a 'crazy redhead' lately even though Ive told him several times not to.
    - he made it clear he is excited and can't wait for me to reach my weightloss goal of going from 36D-27-37 to 34C-24-34 for my new job starting in March as a health and beauty adviser for an online fitness and beauty site.
    - he used to text me during the day or IM me to see how I'm doing. Now he only seems to talk about himself.

    - the only time he complimented me recently was to write in my birthday card that Im a good nurse when he was sick and that I made good thai food.

    - when Im in his kitchen, he acts weird and told me i was inconsiderate when i left his crackers out. this happened TWO weeks before and I had already apologized. Just silly things. Its like he WANTS to view me in a bad light or be mean so I'll leave.

    - when we're apart he no longer returns any affection in emails and on the phone he talks about himself.

    - he didnt tell me when a job offer came up 2000 miles away. I only found out about when we were having dinner with his parents and they mentioned it.

    Do I confront him ?

  2. #2
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    Some stuff sounds normal, some a little shady. The stuff he said in the email doesn't really bother me. Some guys are like that. It's guy talk. A lot of the other stuff just sounds like the honeymoon period is over, and you're getting to know the real him. The job offer is just an offer. If it's not something he's actually considering, then there's probably no reason to bring it up.

    That being said.. hrm.. I'd think long and hard about moving to be closer to him.
    The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

  3. #3
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    Why don't you tell him what you are feeling and state your concerns. Ask if he has any concerns about your relationship he'd like to raise.

    As for the other girls, there will always be someone smarter/prettier/richer/more successful than you. Its just how the numbers work. The real issue is about your [in]security and how you perceive his trustworthiness. The former you have to decide that for yourself, the latter possibly with input from him when you discuss the issue. He may be able to reassure you. Or not.

    Good luck.

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