Now I'm Hurt

[shheadz]

I'm not going into the whole back story on my relationship. Been here for a while, and the regulars know the story. The ex and I have been broken up for probably close to 2 months. I started NC with her a few weeks ago, and she started texting me that it was really hurting her, and she really wanted to talk to me. So I thought about it, and I'm moving to a different state in two weeks, so I figured why not. I'll at least be friends with her until I leave. She was a special person to me, and why put myself through more stress before I leave.

I'll add that we went through a lot together in the short time we were together. We got arrested (drunk in public), and that was stressful, but I payed off the fines for both of us. That was over $500. I got her pregnant, and she had an abortion. I held her hand through the whole procedure, and supported her the best I could after wards. I was her shoulder to cry on for so many nights over so much drama. We practically lived together. She even wanted me to move in with her. It was like a one year relationships worth of ups and down compacted into a few months.

The very day I tell her that we can be friends, she invites me back to her place for the night. I made no moves on her at all, even though we slept in the same bed. I stayed on my side, and she stayed on hers. After a couple hours she slowly worked her way into my arms, and that's where she stayed all night. The next morning she crawled onto the couch with me, she wrapped my arms around her, and she held my hand. We ended up having sex.

This is where she manages to stab me in the heart one last time before I leave. I catch her on IM, and ask if we can see each other a few more times before I leave for NY. It's the last time she'll ever see me again. She liked the idea, and said absolutely. I get off of IM with her, and I look at a calendar. Oops! Looks like I'll need a place to stay for a few days before I head out of state, so I ask if I can stay with her. She says "we will see". Wtf? We practically lived together for months, and we've been through so much together. Plus we seemed to be on more than friendly terms right now. So I guess I was expecting a more enthusiastic response than that.

So I told her that if she has something else going on, and it would be weird having me around for a few days, I'd understand. I was basically saying if she's seeing someone, I would understand. She comes back with "I dunno. We'll see". She didn't answer my question one way or the other, and again basically gave me the cold shoulder on a place to stay for a few days.

I really can't believe that sh!t. I really can't. After all we've been through together, after all I've done for her.. f*ck her. Really.. f*ck her.

[LailaK]

I'm sorry you're on such a rollercoster Do you think she could be steeling herself to prepare for you being gone?

[shheadz]

I'm sorry you're on such a rollercoster Do you think she could be steeling herself to prepare for you being gone?

I doubt it. She's known for some time that I was leaving. She kept wanting to do things together though. She's the one that made a move on me just a week ago.

[LailaK]

Are you able to say: "Piss off. I decided I don't want to be your friend."

I've done that before to someone who was playing with my heart. It's petty and immature but it made me feel a hell of a lot better in the end

[shheadz]

Are you able to say: "Piss off. I decided I don't want to be your friend."

I've done that before to someone who was playing with my heart. It's petty and immature but it made me feel a hell of a lot better in the end

hahah.. That would be great.. but.. I know it'll have no impact on her. The guy she was seeing before me was still texting and calling her nonstop when we started dating. At first it was all apologizing, I love you.. blah. Then he turned to anger, and basically told her to f*ck off, he hates her.. all that. All she did through all of that was laugh at him. I didn't think too much of it, because she had me convinced that he was being a crazy stalker that couldn't take the hint that they were broken up. Now I see things differently, and actually feel bad for the guy.

But anyway. She thinks she's a princess, and if I get angry at her now she'll only think I'm getting mad cause I can't have her pretty little a$$ anymore.

[Perryville]

Dude, I'm really sorry for this sh*t happening to you This whole situation is of her making, and so far, she has gotten what she wants. She wanted to talk to you, you did it, she wanted to f**k you, you did it, she wanted the drama, and she got it, she wants you to hurt, and you are hurting. You should NEVER have stopped NC. Don't talk to her anymore, stay somewhere else, then leave without saying Good bye. That is what she really deserves.

[vashti]

You shouldn't have broken the no contact phase.

I'm sorry, hun. Will you stay away now?

[shheadz]

I'm sorry, hun. Will you stay away now?

Yeah, I will. I still have to work with her a few more times before I leave, but I pulled off the NC thing at work once before, and I can do it again.

then leave without saying Good bye. That is what she really deserves.

That's exactly what I plan on doing, and it is what she deserves. Thanks.

[vashti]

I don't want to villianize her. She is young, and probably just thought being "friends" could work, but after being lovers, it just doesn't. She is probably just becoming aware that being your friend isn't going to be possible. If it was, she wouldn't have slept with you.

[shheadz]

I don't want to villianize her. She is young, and probably just thought being "friends" could work, but after being lovers, it just doesn't. She is probably just becoming aware that being your friend isn't going to be possible. If it was, she wouldn't have slept with you.

I dunno Vashti. You usually seem to know what you're talking about. But for her to have a problem with the friends thing means she still has some feelings for me, which I find hard to believe. I did what a lot of guys here did. I spent a couple weeks after splitting pouring my heart out to her. Telling her how much I loved and cared about her. Apologizing for stuff. Through it all she never once said she felt anything towards me. She only gave me excuses for why she's such a b!tch (A bad breakup she went through a couple years ago).

I don't know if the stuff that happened between us the other night is supposed to be some non-verbal way of saying she still cares, or maybe she's just lonely. I don't know if all the times she's wanted to do things together since the split are a sign she still cares. She told me from the start that she can't talk about things with anyone. So I would expect her to use non-verbal cues.

I just don't know, and I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm almost out of here, and I can just chalk all this up as a lesson learned, and move on.

[irrelevant_89]

*hugs*

I really don't know what to say except I feel for you... :/ hope you can move on soon enough.

edit: on the upside, you went through a lot of messy situations when you were together, at least be glad you got rid of all that drama. xD

[vashti]

Maybe she is worried about the feelings you have for HER more than the feelings she has for you, darling. I dunno, I don't know her, but I really did want to be just friends, or even FWBs, I would start to pull away if the guy was becoming emotionally attached.

In any case, your contact with her isn't good for you. You should just refocus and start thinking about your next location. Where are you moving to?

[sookie6]

I think she is in love with you, that's all...

[IncognitoSir]

I feel you bro! She's been playing with your heart and you're like wtf! I know the feeling all too well. Unfortunately, I think it'll be best for you to just move on without any more contact. She doesn't deserve you, your time, or the care you have for her. She just wants to use you for her own personal gain. She got so close to you and then just like that, shes cold all over again. Its so one sided and it's not fair to you. While I'm not TRYING to make her into a villain, I am calling it like I see it and thats what it is bro. I hope things get better for you after you move to NY man.

[ecojeanne]

erm not to state the obvious but YOU'RE LEAVING HER. why should she put you up? just because you had sex recently and possibly again before you go. i'm sorry dude but who the hell are you to expect her to put you up full stop when you are fckking off into the sunset and leaving her behind. AND BTW you held her hand thru the abortion because if you hadn't you would have been an arse. why would you even mention that?! fck sake! MEN!